Category: Music
To share or not to share
Daniel came home from EFY summer camp to many questions. “What did you eat?” (Richard) “Who did you exchange contact information with?” (Me) “What were your favorite activities?” and, “Did you participate in the talent show?”
“No.”
“What?…Why?”
I have always wanted our kids to have the confidence to play a perfected piece, with little notice, for anyone who would ask. We have pushed through many years of piano lessons and practice sessions to make this possible. So Daniel’s news was baffling to me. He was prepared! Why didn’t he go for the payoff for all his hard work?
As I blinked and tried to guess why Daniel wouldn’t play for his peers, he said he overheard some other kids practicing for the audition. They were playing two of his pieces, a bit roughly, in simplified arrangements. He decided that he didn’t want to crush their desire to play with his more advanced versions of the pieces.
I swallowed my comments about the importance of sharing talents. These words felt petty compared to the quality of empathy he showed as he stepped away from the spotlight. Well done, Daniel. Well done.
Daniel, lately
Daniel got asked to the Sweethearts dance this weekend. Now comes the hard part: How to answer “Yes” to the dance in a creative, thoughtful way.
We attended Daniel’s rescheduled Christmas choir concert at the high school on a bleak midwinter evening in early January. I am always impressed by the choirs at Jordan High. The bell choir and Christmas songs were a welcome treat after two stark school days after a long winter break.
I appreciate Daniel’s chauffeur skills in the afternoons for his brothers. I like watching YouTube videos of Victor Borge with him, and I enjoy seeing his friends show up at the house for a movie night or study session. He is a good friend.
Art and Memory
As I have worked on the story of our family I’ve read journals, handled baby clothes, played music, and sifted through gifts from my children to awaken memories. I have seen how the arts have a power over memory that my conscious efforts don’t. I listened to an album from Paige’s childhood and the music didn’t bring back many concrete memories, but a yearning and a sweet ache. Feelings aren’t always nonsense. They can teach things that concrete objects can’t. My history isn’t just a chronology, it’s also emotion and motives not easily explained.
Music reminds me that there is a reality beyond memory that is sweet and real. Many details of motherhood are lost to me because I was tired and I didn’t write everything down. Music helps me remember what my mind cannot: how it felt to draw myself out to my children. It reminds me of unfiltered vulnerability and sacrifice, which are some of the ways I have loved.
Words, harnessed and molded, also help me understand my blessings. If I capture moments in words, they become objects of gratitude. Blessings multiply before my mind as I record Mark’s funny quotes, or the times when Timothy walked around the pool talking to the plants when he was a baby. Blessings take the form of the sparkle in Paige’s eyes when she danced and showed us her magnificent spirit on stage, or when Daniel, completely disarmed after a week away from home, gave me a long hug when he returned. These little things become pillars of memory as I take time to record them. It’s not just the big events that matter. Now recorded in words, these little memories are a testament to the blessings of having children; of the blessing of being alive.
Why make the effort to write? I want to be a voice that champions family. I want my family to know they are my favorite people.
Mothering was something I always wanted to do. It’s satisfying to me. It involves pain, worry, and frustration, too. It’s the role I cling to, but must find activities apart from, in order to be successful. Music and writing are those activities, yet they also bring me back to my family. I have an identity outside my titles, roles, and errands, but my role in the family has helped me in every way. I’m so thankful to be a daughter, sister, wife, and mother.
Band concert
Timothy is a member of the school jazz band and beginning band. When he stood up to play an improv solo I felt a flutter of nervousness for him. Silly me, he was fine. Richard’s parents were in town and saw the concert, too. How nice.
Mr. Vought, the middle school band and orchestra teacher whom we love is leaving to work at a high school next year. We are so sad to lose him. He made middle school more bearable. Our boys called him a favorite. Now I know why people write sentimental songs about band leaders. Maybe I need to go listen to some.
What does it take to have music like that in my home?
Daniel and Paige played piano in public this week. Someone leaned over to me and asked what it takes to have kids play music like that in my home.
I deferred to Paige to tell the woman how long she’s studied piano, and I started thinking about “what it took” to get where we are now. My mind kept going back to the financial aspect of it as I drove away from the event in my 16-year-old van (which I love). Every month, instead of a car payment, we pay a piano teacher. Can a person learn to play piano with a less expensive teacher? Of course! But we wanted the opportunities a professional teacher could offer. We invested in a grand piano in 2007. The kids love this instrument and it is fun to play. This helps them want to practice. Can a person learn to play beautifully on an upright piano? Of course! For our family, having this piano in a music room has been a symbol of our commitment to music and this commitment has become part of our family culture. As for incentives for practicing, we don’t allow media time until the kids have practiced. That’s been a great motivator for the boys.
Besides the financial investment, there is an investment of time. By no means do I resent the money and time we have spent, but I started calculating how much time we have given for music study. Richard taught Paige for two years. I spend one afternoon a week shuttling kids to and from piano lessons. I’ve done that for 10 years. On piano lesson days, I don’t try to do anything that requires focused attention. I’ll fold laundry between lessons or do little projects around the house, but then it’s time to get in the car again. I have no idea how many hours I’ve spent driving. Piano lessons always go over time, so I wait. Waiting 20-30 minutes a week for 10 years means that I’ve spent over 200 hours sitting in the van waiting for the kids to finish piano lessons. Who knows how many hours I’ve spent waiting at ensemble rehearsals, judging events, and recitals. I read while I wait, so it’s nice. And then there is the time that I am home, monitoring practice, or making sure that it happens. I’m grateful that I am home to do this. Is our method the only way to produce great musicians? No! But every hour, every dollar, and every sacrifice is worth it “to have music like that in our home.”
Two musicals this month
Paige and I are singing in the musical, From Cumorah’s Hill later this month. Paige is also being featured in a video section of this production. We invite you to attend on Thursday, November 20 or Saturday, November 22! It’s a big production with a gorgeous set, powerful music, and my favorite: the youth share their love for the gospel of Jesus Christ.
Daniel is attending rehearsals for this, but he won’t be able to perform because he is playing piano for Les Miserables at his high school on those evenings. We invite you to come see Les Miserables on Friday, November 21.