Mark had some great moments as a homeschool student. He said funny and clever things all the time. He also drew a lot of good pictures. These monsters and action scenes were drawn about 7 years ago in the margins of his math notebooks, but I am just getting around to displaying them. I cut them out, scanned them, and arranged them into a collage with my computer.
My favorite word lately is “curate,” as I am being mindful of what I keep and display. Now I think it would be cute to create a similar collage of artwork from each child. The art box is one of the last holdouts in my purge of homeschool papers.
Richard arranged for our family to enjoy one last camping trip this year. He reserved a large campsite in Midway with beautiful views of the changing leaves on the mountains and Heber Valley. It was chilly, but we enjoyed generous food portions, a break from phone service, plenty of hot cocoa, and singing around the fire with a guitar. Life felt pretty good. Happy 23rd Birthday to Daniel! And happy Conference weekend.
Our kids are well beyond the kindergarten stage, so why have I kept their school papers all these years?
Denial that they are grown and gone
Nostalgia for those sweet days with our kids
Avoiding emotions
These papers are proof that I accomplished something as a home educator.
NO MORE. This week I got rid of nearly all my children’s home school papers, saving just a few things that make my heart flip. I have emptied several shelves this week, yet somehow the bookcases are still full. My random piles of books are finding homes on the empty shelves, and I am gaining momentum in my ability to part with things.
Educating my children was a big part of my life, so this process of parting with papers is emotional. I have learned that most children are not sentimental about their school projects, so there is no need to save much. I know now that whatever I save is mainly for me. Understanding this has made the process much easier. I remind myself that I don’t need every writing sample, but I would like a few pages of each child’s writing and some special projects and art. This script made it possible for me to part with several armloads of paper and workbooks, which I lowered into the garbage can, carefully, as I would into a grave.
It occurs to me that keeping a small, curated collection is a greater tribute to these years than a bunch of binders bursting with paper.
After each session of cleaning, I comfort myself by reading or cross stitching. All these realizations and diversions help me to face the task of letting go.
I’m almost finished with this one. Do you recognize it? It is based on a Klimt painting called The Kiss. I love the colors.
This is the first gift that I bestowed upon you; and I have commanded that you should pretend to no other gift until my purpose is fulfilled in this; for I will grant unto you no other gift until it is finished.
Doctrine and Covenants 4:5
Sometimes I feel restless for the next step. We are almost finished raising children at home and I feel interested to know where to put my energy.
Some insight came last week as I studied the Doctrine and Covenants. This verse is about the gift of translation for Joseph Smith, but I learned a few things about my own situation from these words.
My phase of life is a gift. These are important, poignant days in our family.
I don’t need all the gifts at once.
There will be other gifts when this phase is finished.
I need to be patient and see this through.
There is no need to pretend a work other than the one the Lord has planned for me. It is enough.
I can’t stop making these little cross stitch pictures, and I can finish one in about a week. Since our piano has been in the shop, Mark and I have spent a lot of time at the church so he can practice the piano and organ in the chapel. I sit and listen, stitch, and rest. I give these little creations as gifts to friends, and the pictures leave my shelves almost as quickly as I can produce them. I post them here as a record that they were made.
If I keep working, I might have a Dresden plate quilt to show for the year. I don’t feel any rush to finish this quilt, which is nice, so I can enjoy the process.
I can look back at photos of a quilt, doll, or cross stitch project and remember the circumstances around their creation. I remember who was with me while I worked. I recall the stresses and joys of the time. I remember the loved ones for whom they were made. Creation is tied to life, and it doesn’t seem to matter what I create, whether it is with fabrics, home decor, paint, or words, my creations hold my history.
“It must needs be that we should be led with one accord to the land of promise.”
1 Nephi 10:13
I never considered this line from Lehi until today. He has seen a lot of disunity in his family on their wilderness journey, and chooses to emphasize the need to act with one accord.
“With one accord = all together”
Why?
Lehi sees his family as being important in the overall plan of our Heavenly Father for his children. He is looking for unity stemming from a common faith.
Maybe we should think of our families like Lehi thinks about his family. Hey, our family is important to God! Together we can help each other and the world, beyond anything you can imagine. First things first: we need to understand Jesus.
“Wherefore, all mankind were in a lost and fallen state, and ever would be save they should rely on this Redeemer.”
1 Nephi 10:6
In what ways can a family be led with one accord?
In resolve to keep covenants.
In thanksgiving
In love
In work
In testimony
In support
In faith
In humor
In working for peace
What has helped my family to live with one accord?
worship
good traditions
communication
routines
goals
recreation
acts of love
Never have weaccomplished or needed to do all of these things well at the same time.
I note the first word in the phrase, “Led with one accord.” Our success doesn’t come down to how well we did all the things, and you know the long list of all the things. This is, above all, a journey in grace, God’s help, God’s path, and God’s love. Sometimes our self-imposed lists can be the biggest barrier to the grace that would lead us along. Being led by the Lord means being true to Him through keeping covenants.
We are here to learn how to allow ourselves to be led, together. That looks different, day by day, week by week, year after year. For us, it once looked like prayer and job charts, singing Primary songs, and even shouting “Bam!” when we heard an important word in the scriptures. Now, it looks like intentional mealtime conversations, different ways to study scriptures, and more fun time together. Being “led with one accord” is simply to allow the Good Shepherd to lead your family along.
It works to just ask in prayer, “What should I do today to help my family?” An idea or thought, phrase, or call to action will come. It will definitely be a simple instruction, manageable and meaningful.
“Verily, verily, I say unto you, ye are little children, and he have not as yet understood the great blessings the Father hath in his own hands and prepared for you.
“And ye cannot bear all things now; nevertheless, be of good cheer, for I will lead you along. The kingdom is yours and the blessings thereof are yours, and the riches of eternity are yours.”
Mark’s junior year will bring less time at the high school, more time at home doing online classes, a new piano teacher, and longer hours at the piano. He has a calling to serve the special needs youth in the area as a counselor/companion/ “buddy” to someone during weekly church activities. It is a very different formula than we could have predicted for his school year, but we will trust the Lord.
Mark’s screen print T-shirt collection from his travels is refreshed, his maroon shoes match his school colors, and he remembered to get a photo before he left for school.
Richard gave Mark a priesthood blessing last night and I “covered him in prayer” this morning. Let’s go!
Our family story is punctuated by late summer adventures, year after year. Summer 2022 was important, so we ended it big. Seven of us traveled to Yellowstone in my brother’s 10-passenger van. We stopped short of ordering matching T-shirts, but we were pretty much a tour bus with people that poured out of the doors at each stop.
My heart dwells in so many memories of Yellowstone. But this time, I was a mother of adults and a junior in high school, which is a very different experience.
We are in the final week of summer break. This morning I took some time to look over some snapshots and screenshots from the last few months, and chose a few to share. These are some of people and places I want to remember. Two really good friends passed away. We have been really focused on wedding preparations. Mark was gone a lot, and his social connections got stronger. Richard worked from home. I lived my own version of The Secret Garden, increasing my strength. We planted a lot of flowers, and I am especially proud of reclaiming my favorite corner of the yard, the one that feels like a forest. We sat beneath outdoor lights on many nights. Paige and Michael were especially helpful hanging the lights. Tim made it to Guam. We said goodbye to friends who are going on a mission. Lots of lasts and firsts this summer. This means growth.
