Category: Motherhood

My own brand of Motherhood

 

I am learning that Motherhood isn’t a narrow, restrictive road, and even more important, this path is full of vantage points to my own talents and interests. Overall, my experiences in raising my children have allowed me a greater outlet for my “self” than I ever imagined.

It’s all about making my Own Brand of Motherhood, and trusting that my particular talents and interests were taken into consideration when God sent these children to me. And trusting that He will guide me, often minute by minute, in this journey.

Mom and Mark Minerva Teichert ran a ranch and raised children. As a painter, she almost always had a mural in progress, hanging on her living room wall. She’d paint in her free minutes, many of which I am sure she had to sacrifice to find. As she studied the scriptures and church history, which were the topics of her paintings, she became a scripture scholar. She used this knowledge as she taught her children and grandchildren. Her paintings provided income, but also a larger legacy. Her paintings still help define Mormonism to the world.

In this stage of my life I am most fulfilled as I work in my own home.  As a wise friend commented this week, it’s not about finding fulfillment doing “grown-up” things away from home. It’s being centered at home that makes life most fulfilling. So, these days, I am defined almost always as a mother, but find adventure in incorporating my other interests into my day. These personal interests can actually enhance my ability to mother my children and be a good community member.

It bothers me that EVERY TIME I go to one of my doctors she asks in a very concerned tone, “So, are you still homeschooling?” and then seems amazed to hear that I play the violin (away from home!), pursue other interests, and I don’t feel wasted by my lifestyle, raising four children.

Mothering and Personal Happiness are not Mutually Exclusive, Dr. W.

This week, I have studied Shakespeare, read some Jane Austen, worked on food storage, laundry, and countless other things. I haven’t done my nails, whitened my teeth (the kit’s in the bathroom), or finished my book (which I began in June).

It occurred to me this week as I finished up some laundry and dishes that I am living the fairy tale backwards, becoming Cinderella after I met my prince. Studies show that women work more after they are married than before. You may be thinking I’m moving in a negative direction with these thoughts, but no, rest assured. I believe in the backwards fairy tale. Long live the Backwards Fairy Tale Life!

I believe in work, and the absolute necessity of it because it combats my selfishness. Of all the traits that I work hard to tame, vanity and selfishness are at the core. Being a wife and mother and loving it is so helpful as I try to improve my character and talents.

It also helps that Mark, Timothy, Daniel, and Paige are so absolutely cute and good. And these small people will do great things.

Mom and Mark

Post-Edit Addition:

I sweat bullets over this post, and I still don’t have it right. For instance, I didn’t fully express my innate fulfillment motherhood brings… even without the extra curriculars. Kids are so fascinating and enlivening. They make me want to be a better person. In my case, this means a person who doesn’t seek accolades or affirmation from anybody but my Heavenly Father.

Because He sees what I do and how I try.

It’s not easy being Three, by Mark

2008-10-24 Park 07

I woke up and ran outside, excited to see the mushroom in the grass that we found yesterday. Oh, no! someone had smashed it! I cried and ran to Mom’s room where she was reading. I could hardly tell my story, I was so upset. Mom poured me some Cheerios and told me another mushroom will grow in the grass someday.

An hour later, I asked, “Should we plant the mushroom pieces so it will grow into a new mushroom?” “Plants need sun and water. We can pour the water!”

Then Mom told me something about spores and that mushrooms are fungi, not plants.(Just when I think I’ve got things figured out, my world turns upside down.)

Later, we were reading scriptures. I was so bored. I asked, “Why do we have to read scriptures every day?” Mom said, “Because the prophet said so.” Then she started singing, Follow the Prophet and so I decided to sing with everybody. When the song was over, they started reading scriptures AGAIN! So I said, “I want to sing more songs!” After a while, we sang again; any song I wanted. I chose Popcorn Popping, Jingle Bells, and Little Drummer Boy! I love that rum-pum- pum- pum song.

I played outside, ate pancakes for lunch, and played outside some more. Then I dressed up like a Cub Scout. Daniel let me wear all of his stuff. I looked good!

Mark in Scout uniform 001

I had to go with Mom and the kids to piano lessons. I was so tired. I tried to fall asleep in the car, but it didn’t work. I was so sad about everything. My Bobby doll was missing. My shirt was dirty. Mom found my Bobby and put my cactus shirt on me.

Later, after piano lessons were over, Mom bought me some orange tic-tacs and that made me happy.

Tonight at the church a girl found me in the hallway and asked, “What are you doing?”I said, “I’m waiting to go to the beach… Have you ever been to the beach?.. Have you ever slept on a crab?” She just giggled and walked back to mutual to tell her friends what I said to her.

Life can be so confusing. And what in the world is August? Mom keeps saying I have to wait until August to go to the beach.

Reminisce part two: Being Present

Flower watercolor by Paige Ross

Resolved: I will include more of our art on this blog.

I went visiting teaching today, which means I sat in the homes of two amazing women from church and checked up on how they are doing, shared a spiritual thought, and sat back and learned from them.

One friend told me about her goal to be more “present” instead of distracted during her activities in her work and with her children and husband. What a great goal! She noted that many of us are addicted to multi-tasking, to the detriment of all we try to do. If we were more “present” in our work and relationships, we would find more success.

I thought about this idea all day long. As a mother, I have to multi-task some things. I can’t tell my children to “take a number” all the time. However, I can eliminate some of the non-essential, addictive things that make me less than “present” like checking e-mails first thing in the morning instead of working on my primary goals for the day, or trying to make lists while I play trains with Mark (of which I am guilty today).

Which reminds me of my Reminisce post from Sunday. Another reason I (and so many others) love the past is because these were simpler times. So here’s a paradox: to rekindle some of the simplicity of the past… (wait for it) we need to be more “present” today. (ba da boom!)

Sleep sweet, nor fret

children-ring-around-roses

Today we entertained lots of neighborhood kids at our house. Late in the afternoon, my next door neighbor, Maria brought me some lemonade. We sat in my living room and dressed Barbies with the kids.

The day was full of small blessings like that. It’s remembering these comfortable blessings that makes all the difference when I look back over my day, which was truly a mixture of successes and shortcomings, good and bad news. I’m wrapped in a soft shawl and I feel peaceful.

I have loved this poem for years. I just discovered it is part of the Association of Unity Churches Home Blessing. I couldn’t find the author’s name. It matches my mood tonight.

My heart, The sun hath set.
Night paths With dew are wet.
Sleep comes Without regret;
Stars rise When sun is set.
All’s well. God loves thee yet,
Heart, smile, Sleep sweet, nor fret.

Girls’ Camp Eve

 

PICT0164.JPG
Paige is off to Girls’ Camp this week. I was asked to write the usual “Dear Daughter” letter to Paige to open when she is at camp. Letters from home are always a good idea. Good heavens, I still have every note my mom wrote to me.
I have to admit I don’t want to write the letter. I want to be up at Girl’s Camp. I’d rather be singing songs around the campfire with her and hiking in the pines than sitting here trying to think of the right thing to say. But since I can’t go, I’ll get to work on that letter.
Study this picture for a minute and you will see my firstborn, my companion, my helper, my friend, my hero, my doll to dress and care for, my young woman to be proud of, and the ONLY one with whom I can share Pride and Prejudice movie nights at home. I hear her playing the piano as I write this. She plays better than I do now. She is like her dad in her steady, calm demeanor. She welcomes her brothers into her room all the time and lets them fiddle around with her sparkly, sweet smelling, soft, and cute belongings. To Mark, Paige is a special confidante. I find the two of them often sitting on her bed together talking about topics obviously chosen by Mark. Paige is very patient. Her artwork is stunning and she dances like an angel. She is a faithful at studying her scriptures and writing in her journal. I can honestly say I have never seen her behave disrespectfully to anyone.
Paige came when I was 21 years old when I didn’t know anything. I know even less now, and I think she’s catching on to this truth, but she still gives me hugs every night before bed and thanks me for the meals I prepare.
Along with my assignment to write a letter to Paige, I must also come up with an adjective which describes her to print in a program after camp. Just one adjective? Now, that’s hard. Here are some words that describe Paige: graceful, pure, gentle, unselfish, talented, artistic, patient, generous, loving, steady, sweet, quiet, faithful, obedient, intelligent…
Will a longer list make it any easier to choose just one?
Probably not, but if anyone deserves a long list of positive adjectives, it’s our Paige.

Tough stuff



When my children were babies, I did everything I could to protect them. As they get older, I see that my need to protect must also be balanced with their need for experience. This means I am learning to allow things like bb guns & baseball injuries into the equation. I’m still here with the bandaids and a hug. And I’ve given a lot of these this week.

Daniel had two days of Cub Day Camp and I got to go with the scouts on the first day. We were up on Mt Lemmon and the pines were as rejuvenating as the scouts were exhausting. I loved being up there and watching the boys learn to work with knives and shoot and try their hands at leather craft. Daniel is a good kid. I couldn’t be more proud of him for his conduct at camp. And yes, Daniel, you earned your whittling chip and can own a pocketknife now!

2008-05-27 Day Camp 036.jpg

2008-05-27 Day Camp 038.jpg

Timothy wasn’t hurt in this t-ball collision, but it looks spectacular, doesn’t it?

2009-05-28 T-Ball 034.jpg

See, he’s fine.

2009-05-28 T-Ball 031.jpg

And so am I.