Category: Motherhood

Veiled memories

Paige in her Easter dress at our apartment looking down at a bug. She is 20 months old.

We lived in an apartment for a year in Austin, Texas before we moved into our house. This wasn’t our first time living in a different state from our parents, but Richard’s job made it a more permanent arrangement. Paige was my constant companion through that year of adjustment.

We made daily walks to the mailbox and this was the highlight of our day. I was writing to two brothers on missions and my grandmother was a faithful correspondent. I lived for the mail. Paige lived for the ducks we passed on our way to the mailboxes. We watched families of ducks hatch in the spring and grow to maturity.

I reflect on those times now and find that these memories hold my heart like it’s a sponge being wrung. Real feelings are associated with those simple moments. Last night I asked her if she remembered our walks, but she couldn’t. Did she remember the lake or the apartment? Did she remember our talks or the evenings we blew bubbles in the protected corridors between apartment buildings which allowed the bubbles to sail more gently? No, the memories were not there.

I know enough about child development to realize that infancy and early childhood are not about concrete memories, but the feelings of security and the affection of a parent are pivotal to many areas of development.

It still seems a little sad that she can’t remember those times, though. Perhaps I should look at those memories of motherhood as a personal gift from God, a reminder that small and simple acts are significant. For it seems that simple acts bring blessings for the giver long after the recipient ceases to need those gifts. These feelings and memories are my treasures, and they are uniquely mine because they were crafted with my own small acts of personal sacrifice and love. Perhaps these motherly acts were inspired by remnants of memories of my own mother’s forgotten acts kindness to me when I was a baby. In all things, it seems that God knows best how to nurture his children, and if it means forgetfulness for a while, then I will trust in that.

Oil, lights, and the power of homemakers

For days I have been trying to find a passage in a book about Jewish women’s roles as keepers of the oil, & lighters of the flame in the home. My search was inspired by this photo from our trip and it conveys the message almost as well as the text I was looking for but never found. I’ve been thinking about the significant power a homemaker possesses as she feeds and nurtures her family.

Women can be a  light to the home as we gather our families for meals and see to our families’ needs. Our metaphorical oil supply must be high and of good quality if we want to succeed.

Over time, the requirements for maintaining my personal oil supply have changed. Over the past week I have tried to listen to my body’s need for more rest; I’ve tried to face my obligations without holding my breath and letting my heart race. Sometimes writing in a journal is all I need to sort things out. Lately, I have needed to read the ideas of others more than stir up my own. It’s a time for refueling, I guess.

Here are some things I have been reading or that have caught my interest this week.

Seeking Refinement

Motherhood simplified

Poppies!

 

Wolf!

Timothy received his Wolf badge last night at Pack Meeting!

I got a mother’s pin. I bought a ribbon on which the boys can place their pins. It is a good idea.

When the Cubmaster tells you to hug your mom, you hug your mom.

Mark was very proud and ran up to give him a hug, too.

A telephoto lens

There is a movement I have read about recently where women try to take more pictures of themselves interacting with their children. These women set up a tripod and a remote, stand in front of a mirror, or perform other acrobatics to see that there are photos of themselves in the act of mothering. I’m not up to that. However, Richard caught this private moment with his telephoto lens the other day and it reminded me again of how much I love being a mom.

Things I have discovered recently

I’ve discovered that I can do laundry on my busiest day of errands because I throw in a load as I head out the door and I can fold in the 20 minutes between runs.

As busy as I am, I prefer making dinner to just about any other afternoon activity. It’s therapeutic to chop and saute and it feels good to pull out a steaming dish of something from the oven.

I discovered that Hannibal Smith from the A-Team is the male lead in Breakfast at Tiffany’s. I didn’t like it the first time I saw it years ago, and I barely made it 20 minutes before I turned it off this time. I only left it on that long because it made me snicker to watch the boys try to enjoy it because Hannibal was in it.

This week I discovered the joy of waking up to the sun with open blinds. Why have I never done this before?

 

Acceptable

“There are many of the sisters whose labors are not known beyond their own dwellings and perhaps not appreciated there, but what difference does that make? If your labors are acceptable to God, however simple the duties, if faithfully performed, you should never be discouraged.” -Eliza R. Snow

Dan Man

Here’s the person of the day. He’s smart, creative, athletic, handsome, and carries tools.

I call him Dan Man…even though I don’t really want him to be a man just yet.

Daniel is missing in a lot of our photos because he’s usually blazing the trail for the rest of us. It’s nice to have a boy who is independent but will still give me a hug at night before bed.

He’s twelve and he’s a good boy. I feel so blessed to have him in our family.

Keeping them busy

The public schools are out today for teacher prep. I’m sorely tempted to take a teacher prep day, but that would mean the boys would have all day to fight instead of just the afternoon, so you know what that means: SCHOOL TIME!

I love those boys. They need action and excitement and outdoor play. Last week we found ourselves at the park…in the afternoon…and we didn’t get heat stroke! Hooray! There is hope for an autumn!

 

 

Goodbye sweet babies

Today we said goodbye to many of Paige’s childhood toys and dress up clothes. Tears were shed. She has kept them around for all the neighbor girls to play with when they come over, but this summer it became clear that we are out of space. Most toys were carefully wrapped and donated to special people and to our church thrift store. Other things were packed away in deep storage for me to pull out and play with when Paige moves out and I’m the only girl in the house.

This photo was taken in 2002.

Goodbye pink Kelly castle with the little dragon.

Goodbye dollies. You are loved.

Goodbye ponies.

Goodbye twirly pink dress up clothes.

I’m crying my eyes out.

Goodbye tea parties with princesses.

Goodbye little things and glittery treasures.

Goodbye baby girl.