Category: Motherhood

Ideas and objects, spirit and body

This may not resonate with anyone but me, but this is what I have observed: when I’m faced with a big idea or task, the tiny actions of the day can take on more meaning. Menial tasks somehow create a focus to help me face the bigger dilemma. My unhurried mind, taking a break during the task, more easily comes up with solutions.

I recently reread a book about feminine psychology as it is expressed in mythology. One of the lessons from the myth of Psyche was that sorting objects is one of the best strategies that women can employ when they are faced with a challenge.

Maybe there is a link between sorting objects and sorting ideas. One can’t find meaning for either if they are done independently. Our minds must work, but so must our bodies because we are dual beings, spirit and body.

I’m focusing on my homemaking tasks and grading papers. I am taking moments here and there to study and pray. It’s a good process for me and I count it as one of my greatest blessings that I have the freedom to do it. I am grateful to Richard for providing me with a lifestyle that allows for my creativity, education, personal advancement and fulfillment. My life includes long days of sorting socks, organizing closets, and building machines for my children to experience physics while I think about things.

I hope your sorting of ideas and objects helps you find meaning today.

The Diner

Last night we ate dinner in 5 shifts. Although I prepared a hearty white chicken chili and cornbread, this is what the family ate between trips to ballet and the ball park:

5:00:

  • Daniel: ham and cheese sandwich

5:30:

  • Angie: chili, cornbread, strawberries
  • Richard: warm fudge bars from a friend

6:15:

  • Tim: tortilla with cheese, milk
  • Mark: two cornbread muffins with honey butter, milk

7:30:

  • Paige: chili, cornbread, strawberries, brownie
  • Mark: brownie; bowl of Cheerios

9:30:

  • Richard: chili, cornbread, brownie
  • Daniel: strawberry yogurt, granola

We do a little better in the nutrition department when we eat together.

The lion, the witch, and the minivan compartment

Last night I drove six young women to the church cannery to fulfill a food bank assignment where we packaged beans. It was a 30 minute drive each way and this meant that the girls became well acquainted with my van.

I did ask my kids to clean up the van and I hastily stuffed some papers in the trash bag before the girls jumped in. However, it didn’t take long for the girls to begin discovering treasures.

“Sister Ross, why is there a toothbrush on the floor of your van?”

“Sister Ross, is that a 3-foot stick by the driver’s side?”

“Why do you have a food scale in your van?”

I was a little bit mortified, but then I turned it into a game. Which girl could discover the strangest thing in my van?

Would it be the 7 pairs of shoes? Would it be the Lightning McQueen socks? A half-eaten chicken nugget? I listened for more discoveries.

As we pulled into the cannery, I heard a voice in the back say,

“I think I found Narnia in this little compartment!”

And I proclaimed her the winner.

Integrity

Integrity is living the same way no matter what. It involves not just choices about honesty; it involves every choice that we make. Will I be a better person if I read this? Does this entertainment feed the better part of my nature? Do I react with patience to my family, just as I try to react with my other associates?

I don’t have time to read or watch rubbish. If I had to prepare separately for each of my roles, I would never have time. My literature and media choices fill my mind with the ideas that I will use in church lessons, school lessons, and nurturing relationships. I can’t live in the silly, shallow world and still expect to have the time to seek to be worthy of the Spirit.

In church responsibilities, if I’ve been wise in my literature choices and scripture study, these are resources which I can draw upon, adorning my lessons with greater insights than I can come up with on my own.

It’s a relief to realize that our responsibilities as a child of God, a family member, and church member dovetail in their required preparations. Our character, developed through acts of integrity, will be a consistent and dynamic factor in our success as we try to fill many roles.

A life of integrity streamlines and simplifies the to-do lists. I am learning that integrity is one of the solutions to the problem of being too busy.

Veiled memories

Paige in her Easter dress at our apartment looking down at a bug. She is 20 months old.

We lived in an apartment for a year in Austin, Texas before we moved into our house. This wasn’t our first time living in a different state from our parents, but Richard’s job made it a more permanent arrangement. Paige was my constant companion through that year of adjustment.

We made daily walks to the mailbox and this was the highlight of our day. I was writing to two brothers on missions and my grandmother was a faithful correspondent. I lived for the mail. Paige lived for the ducks we passed on our way to the mailboxes. We watched families of ducks hatch in the spring and grow to maturity.

I reflect on those times now and find that these memories hold my heart like it’s a sponge being wrung. Real feelings are associated with those simple moments. Last night I asked her if she remembered our walks, but she couldn’t. Did she remember the lake or the apartment? Did she remember our talks or the evenings we blew bubbles in the protected corridors between apartment buildings which allowed the bubbles to sail more gently? No, the memories were not there.

I know enough about child development to realize that infancy and early childhood are not about concrete memories, but the feelings of security and the affection of a parent are pivotal to many areas of development.

It still seems a little sad that she can’t remember those times, though. Perhaps I should look at those memories of motherhood as a personal gift from God, a reminder that small and simple acts are significant. For it seems that simple acts bring blessings for the giver long after the recipient ceases to need those gifts. These feelings and memories are my treasures, and they are uniquely mine because they were crafted with my own small acts of personal sacrifice and love. Perhaps these motherly acts were inspired by remnants of memories of my own mother’s forgotten acts kindness to me when I was a baby. In all things, it seems that God knows best how to nurture his children, and if it means forgetfulness for a while, then I will trust in that.

Oil, lights, and the power of homemakers

For days I have been trying to find a passage in a book about Jewish women’s roles as keepers of the oil, & lighters of the flame in the home. My search was inspired by this photo from our trip and it conveys the message almost as well as the text I was looking for but never found. I’ve been thinking about the significant power a homemaker possesses as she feeds and nurtures her family.

Women can be a  light to the home as we gather our families for meals and see to our families’ needs. Our metaphorical oil supply must be high and of good quality if we want to succeed.

Over time, the requirements for maintaining my personal oil supply have changed. Over the past week I have tried to listen to my body’s need for more rest; I’ve tried to face my obligations without holding my breath and letting my heart race. Sometimes writing in a journal is all I need to sort things out. Lately, I have needed to read the ideas of others more than stir up my own. It’s a time for refueling, I guess.

Here are some things I have been reading or that have caught my interest this week.

Seeking Refinement

Motherhood simplified

Poppies!

 

Wolf!

Timothy received his Wolf badge last night at Pack Meeting!

I got a mother’s pin. I bought a ribbon on which the boys can place their pins. It is a good idea.

When the Cubmaster tells you to hug your mom, you hug your mom.

Mark was very proud and ran up to give him a hug, too.

A telephoto lens

There is a movement I have read about recently where women try to take more pictures of themselves interacting with their children. These women set up a tripod and a remote, stand in front of a mirror, or perform other acrobatics to see that there are photos of themselves in the act of mothering. I’m not up to that. However, Richard caught this private moment with his telephoto lens the other day and it reminded me again of how much I love being a mom.

Things I have discovered recently

I’ve discovered that I can do laundry on my busiest day of errands because I throw in a load as I head out the door and I can fold in the 20 minutes between runs.

As busy as I am, I prefer making dinner to just about any other afternoon activity. It’s therapeutic to chop and saute and it feels good to pull out a steaming dish of something from the oven.

I discovered that Hannibal Smith from the A-Team is the male lead in Breakfast at Tiffany’s. I didn’t like it the first time I saw it years ago, and I barely made it 20 minutes before I turned it off this time. I only left it on that long because it made me snicker to watch the boys try to enjoy it because Hannibal was in it.

This week I discovered the joy of waking up to the sun with open blinds. Why have I never done this before?