Motherhood – Page 41 – Letters from Home

First Grade Zoo Trip

Dear Mark,

When I was in first grade, I came to this same zoo for a field trip. I had such a good time that I wasn’t paying attention to my class loading the bus to go home and was almost left behind! On the way home that day, I counted all of the red cars on the freeway. You counted red cars, too. I think you counted 130 red cars between the zoo and your school.

I had a great time with you at the zoo, Mark. I liked the elephants, too. I thought the bird house wasn’t as smelly as it used to be. The little monkeys were my favorite. Do you remember the funny things we heard from kids as they looked at the animals?

Including, “It doesn’t get any better than this!”

and, “Sometimes when I get knocked out, I don’t remember how I got hurt.”

and our favorite, “Wow, bats are real?!!”

I enjoyed our picnic with granola and fruit drinks at Sugarhouse Park. I loved watching you run with all of the friends you have made in your class this year. I thought that you were a really fast runner. Thanks for letting me come with you.

Love,

Mom

P.S. I love your elephant picture and your bright orange hair.

What do you do all day?

“What do you do all day?” was a question someone asked me in December. This question doesn’t bother me, no matter how it is phrased or who asks it. I never feel the need to defend my decision to be present at home, but today I feel like celebrating my full life.

I volunteer at the school.

I spend 2 mornings with the first graders each week and volunteer for a short shift on another day to compile homework packets for the fourth graders. I observe the teachers as I do this. I learn the names of the children in the classes. I look at displays in the hallway. I don’t always enjoy hearing first grade literature, but I want to help them improve their reading skills. In the 8 months that I have done this, I have seen real progress. I have taught art classes to the first graders and helped them create their own Jackson Pollack paintings and also some mosaics. I have helped with class parties and I ran cash registers at the book fairs. This week I am going to the zoo with Mark’s class. I’m pretty nervous about this one.

I read. I study.

I keep quotes and notes of history and religious topics and fill up notebooks with ideas. I read less now than when I was teaching, probably because the new house has required so much of my time. Here is a list of what I have read since the school year began:

Theodore Boone: Kid Lawyer by John Grisham
Hatchet by Gary Paulsen
Lincoln: A Phogobiography by Russel Freedman
Captains Courageous by Rudyard Kipling
Okay for Now by Gary D. Schmidt
The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde
This Time Together: Laughter and Reflection by Carol Burnett
Peter the Great: His Life and World by Roberk K. Massie 1136 pages of Russian & European history, politics, and wars
Silas Marner by George Eliot
The Infinite Atonement by Tad R. Callister
So Far From the Bamboo Grove by Yoko Kawashima Watkins
Founding Mothers by Cokie Roberts
Autobiography of Parley P. Pratt
Little House in the Big Woods by Laura Ingalls Wilder
Little House on the Prairie by Laura Ingalls Wilder
Farmer Boy by Laura Ingalls Wilder
On the Banks of Plum Creek by Laura Ingalls Wilder
By the Shores of Silver Lake by Laura Ingalls Wilder
The Long Winter by Laura Ingalls Wilder
Little Town on the Prairie by Laura Ingalls Wilder
These Happy Golden Years by Laura Ingalls Wilder
The First Four Years by Laura Ingalls Wilder
Oddfellow’s Orphanage by Emily Winfield Martin
For Times of Trouble by Jeffrey R. Holland
Love, Stargirl by Jerry Spinelli
C.S. Lewis: A Biography by Roger Lancelyn Green and Walter Hooper
Founding Rivals: Madison vs. Monroe: The Bill of Rights and the Election thatSaved a Nation by Chris DeRose
Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis
Lady Almina and the Real Downton Abbey: The Lost Legacy of Highclere Castle by The Countess of Carnarvon
Tevye the Dairyman by Sholem Aleichem
Lark Rise to Candleford: A Trilogy by Flora Thompson (in progress)

I care for and organize our home.

I did a lot of organization projects this year, but it was a particular focus in April. We also moved forward with a few plumbing and painting projects. It feels so good to make the house our own. Here is a list of the things we did in April. I did the organization and painting. Richard did the wiring, plumbing, and ceiling repairs.

Mark’s room: removed old dresser and moved all clothing to his closet. I hung some more quilts on the wall. I love colorful quilts.
Paige’s room: Paige cleaned out her old wardrobe and moved all clothing to her closet in bins that I had found on sale.
Daniel’s room: I organized clothing and organized Legos and collections; we bought paint for his room.
Timothy’s room: We painted, replaced switches, outlets, and plates; we sealed the window to keep the spiders out!
Storage room: I filled new bins to store all of our winter gear.
Craft room: I hung curtains in the closet, rearranged furniture, placed everything in containers, applied new plates on walls, and hung pictures
Upstairs family room: I found an inexpensive piece of artwork that I LOVE for one of the empty walls
Front yard: We planted daisies in planter on the doorstep.
Downstairs bathroom: We repainted, repaired the tub, added new caulk, added new hardware and textiles; we replaced the toilet, replaced switches, outlets, and plates, and sealed the window to keep the spiders out.
Basement: Richard replaced and repaired ceiling tiles.
Mudroom: I filled bins with winter gear and baseball gear, neatly labeled them, and placed them on shelves.
Upstairs bathroom: We sealed the shower, replaced the shower head, and deep cleaned the grout.
Upstairs living room/piano room: I hung TWO gold curtain panels.

I do all of the shopping and laundry and a lot of driving.

I bought winter wardrobes for every member of the family and shopped the sales for more bedding. With my extra time, I can shop more carefully for groceries and other things. I am in the car driving kids at least an hour a day.

I pursue personal interests.

I spent January compiling our family photo album for 2012; February was a month of musical performances; March and April I spent writing my grandmother’s history. I have joined a quilting group and will begin my first real pieced quilt this week. Richard and I enjoy creating media. In February, Richard and I revamped our “Who Wants to be a Millionaire” inspired trivia game about the Book of Mormon because we wanted it to be extra special for a mutual activity. The improved graphics, sounds, and hundreds of questions were a hit. I watch BBC dramas regularly, thanks to the library and Netflix. I write real letters to people.

I fulfill church responsibilities.

I am a visiting teacher to three women and I volunteer to watch the 5 month old quadruplets that live a few doors away. This service has helped me to find friendship among the women in my neighborhood. The quadruplets brighten my days.

I am a leader in the Young Women organization at church. I teach Sunday lessons and attend Mutual activities on Wednesday nights. I study for hours and hours to prepare lessons.

I spend time finding joy and feeling grateful.

I spend almost the same amount of time on education for my children as before, only it’s redirected. I have never felt like my day goes by slowly. I have less solitude than I expected, and I am happy.

I believe that I am blessed and I don’t know why. I see good women who have to struggle with things that I have never had to face. I’m blessed, but I have also made choices about how to spend my life and in the attitude that I adopt.

I believe that my life at home offers me so many possibilities. I can study what I wish; I have time to volunteer; I have the flexibility to NOT volunteer; I have leisure time, as well as a healthy dose of work. My life is good, and I am thankful for Richard who has always made it possible for me to be home where I want to be and where I believe my children need me to be.

Progress for women doesn’t just take the form of career opportunities. The more I read and learn, the more it becomes clear that my life is a dream vacation compared to what most women in history have experienced. It’s real progress for women to be free from want and ignorance. I’m not trying to keep my children from starving. I have time to study scriptures and other subjects with them after school; I have time and the means to shop for clothing and shoes. I don’t spend much time doing laundry or washing dishes. We have time to read and have access to great schools and libraries. I can get a job if I need to, even though I am married. It wasn’t that long ago that married women couldn’t have a job as a teacher. I’m thankful that this opportunity is there for me. I have the freedom to take a career, turn away from a career, or postpone a career. I admire the women who are raising children on their own and who work and do everything else. I cheer for those single mothers who shine, despite a difficult situation, and continue to raise amazing children.

I love my life. Sometimes I love my life because I can use my knowledge and talents to bless my family. I think I have drawn from everything I have learned in school and experience in my parenting. Sometimes I love my life, not because I am good at something, but because I have applied myself and find satisfaction in the work. Sometimes I love my life because I have had a glimpse of what my great-grandmothers’ lives were like and the contrast makes me feel so grateful. I love my life when I look at my children and I feel like I really know them.

Do I have problems in my relationships? Yes. Does my body give out sometimes? Yes. Do I have frustrating conversations with my children? Yes. Do I get tired of cooking? Yes. Do I love to be a chauffeur? No. But I am grateful, so grateful for my life, so full of possibilities and people, books and cozy corners in which to study them, and for children and all that comes with them. Most of all, I feel very thankful for Richard whose love, career, and sacrifices have made so many of my life’s joys possible.

She did it!

My mom graduated from BYU this week.

It was such a happy occasion.

This is the family who came to cheer for her.

The Sanchez girls are all BYU graduates now. Here are a few of the grandchildren. I asked Matthew to move his hair so at least one eye was visible for the photo. Anna thought that I was talking to everyone, so she’s doing her best to just show only one eye. Oh, that girl makes me smile. We drove down to Spring Lake and had a big party. Susan decorated the yard with flags and the interior with all things BYU. It was so festive!

As Richard drove the cake from the bakery, Sparky decided to jump on top of the plastic cover, destroying the decorations. The bakery was kind enough to redecorate it.

I am so thankful for my mom’s example of sacrifice and unselfishness, her persistence and flexibility. I have seen that her decision to focus on her family before her own college dreams has blessed our lives. She always said with confidence that she made the decision to leave school because it was the right thing for her to do. She didn’t complain about it to us. I always felt that she chose me and the other children and she was happy about it. She embraced being a mother and helped my dad to build his business. She shared herself. She was present. She was involved in our education. She prepared our meals and volunteered at the schools. She read to us. She disciplined us. She was always reading and she filled our home with books. Her consistent presence at home was an anchor and a shield against trouble in my life.

She went back to school in 2006 and set plans for a graduation date. She and my dad were called to be missionaries from 2007-2010, and her college books went back on the shelf during those years. She learned Spanish on her mission and when she came back she worked hard to receive college credit for her language skills. The things that she has learned in literature, cooking, family relations and child development courses will continue to be a blessing to our family. The narrative biography she wrote about her parents for a family history course is a treasure.

I am so happy for her because she completed her degree. She is the best woman that I know. Her choices have blessed our family and hundreds of youth, missionaries, investigators, teachers, and neighbors. It was good to celebrate her life.

Variations on a Theme

We have had many methods of listing jobs at our house. Most of the time I’ve written out the lists on bits of paper, but I am not very consistent. I decided it was time to do something new with our job lists.

My new job chart system had to

indicate levels of importance to help the kids prioritize,
incorporate large and small tasks, as well as daily and weekly tasks,
provide an incentive,
look pretty enough to keep in a prominent place in the kitchen.

I made about 50 magnets. The green magnets indicate personal scripture study. The white magnets indicate making beds and doing homework. Yellow and red are for music and dance. These colors remain constant each day and are placed in order of importance.

The dark blue and light blue tasks rotate. The dark blue tasks are “big jobs” and the light blue tasks are “little jobs”. Most days each child has one big job to do and one small job. The big jobs are things such as changing sheets or weeding. Little jobs are things such as emptying a rack of the dishwasher or picking up toys in a common area or putting away laundry. I don’t have personal hygiene items listed on the job chart. The kids seem to do pretty well with this without incentives or cute reminders.

When a job is completed, the kid turns the magnet upside down. This saves time. As for the incentive, each job completed is one point. Each night I add the points to a running total. When the kids collectively earn 100 points, I take them out to eat. The system is forgiving; I understand that some days are busier than others, so I put up fewer jobs. Also, if a child is swamped with school work, they know what jobs are most important and they work from left to right. If they don’t get one of the last jobs completed, no big deal. They know that they have done the most important things.

If there is a job that I don’t have a magnet for, I just put up the magnet that reads “Help Mom” and they ask me what to do.

So far, the kids and I really like this system.

If you are interested, here are the details of how I made it: The letters are stickers from the scrapbook aisle. The square magnet/dry erase board and easel are from Walmart. I made a list of the jobs that need to be done and ranked them according to importance, frequency, and size. I assigned colors for each category. I typed the jobs on bright circles of color and printed them on glossy photo paper. I cut out the circles, glued them to round magnets and then glued the glass stones on top. I used round magnets and epoxy.

The job chart came about because we had so much success with our family home evening chart which I made in September. Making crafty wall hangings is not my thing, but stretching myself to do this has really helped our family. There is accountability, fairness, and I LOVE the lessons that my children prepare. This chart has made our family home evenings a success. The jobs which rotate are Prayer, Song, Lesson, “Helper”, Conduct, & Treats.

I made the family home evening chart with vinyl rub-on letters which were not very forgiving. Stickers are definitely a better method for a beginner like me. The metal board with the frame was on clearance at Hobby Lobby.

These charts fulfilled personal progress goals that I am working on as a leader and a mother in Young Women.

Life Scout

My good friend in Sahuarita introduced me to this ribbon to keep a mother’s Scouting pins. I think it is a great idea and I enjoy the memories when I see the little Bobcat pin, his Arrow of Light, and others. (I’m missing the First Class pin.) There is only one rank left for Daniel: Eagle. He’s considering several ideas for his project and he’s working on the BIG 3 required merit badges that take 3 months to complete.

Here is Daniel receiving his Life rank last week. I love the looks on the leaders’ faces. I’m grateful for what Scouting teaches Daniel. I am thankful for men who take so much time to be with the boys and for their families who faithfully send them off to camp each month.

Richard and I find that a common theme in our conversation lately is milestones completed. Soon Daniel won’t be going on campouts each month. Timothy completed his final Pinewood Derby. Paige is driving. College, high school, and big decisions are coming. I hope that they have enjoyed childhood. I love watching them grow, even though it means that they don’t need me as much anymore. The process of the children gaining independence doesn’t allow me to be a constant spectator, but I am here, perhaps less involved on a physical level, but more involved on a spiritual level. I’m praying for them all day long.

Reading and eating

I’ve been reading all weekend. I’m most happy when I’m in the middle of three or four books. This weekend, my selections were For Times of Trouble by Jeffrey R. Holland (for reflection); C.S. Lewis: A Biography by Roger Lancelyn Green and Walter Hooper (for more reflection); Love, Stargirl by Jerry Spinelli (because I loved the author’s book, Stargirl); and Oddfellow’s Orphanage by Emily Winfield Martin (for its illustrations).

While I have been reading, the kids have been skiing, eating, resting in bed because they are sick, eating, reading, practicing music, eating, sledding down the driveway, eating, building snowmen, and (apparently) eating.

There is one orange, an apple, one piece of ham, and a couple of pieces of leftover lasagna in the refrigerator. The milk is nearly gone and the snacks in the pantry have been swept clean. You would never know that I went grocery shopping on Friday.

It’s been a little while since Timothy was mentioned

Our Timothy is TEN, goes to Webelos, skiis, reads all of the time, plays piano smashingly, and continues to melt my heart every day.

Perhaps my favorite thing about Timothy these days is the way he greets me when I pick him up at school. No matter what, he’ll give me the biggest smile and hug, right in front of his friends, even if they are talking to him.

Without words, he says, “Excuse me, but I see my mom and I always give her a hug. Your story will just have to wait until tomorrow.” He gives me a hug and all of his attention shifts from his friends to me and Mark as we walk down the hill together.

I am incredibly proud of Timothy. He has made all of the transitions of the past 6 months with courage and smiles and unabashed hugs.

Thank you, Caroline Ingalls and Marilla Cuthbert

Practicing different songs at the same time!

I’m a little embarrassed to admit this, but I have never read the Little House books. I have read a few of them, but I missed the overall experience along the way. I’m trying to read them straight through.

These books inspire me to cook things with gravy and cornmeal. They also remind me to be a better housekeeper. Caroline Ingalls and Mrs. Wilder belong in the same category as Marilla Cuthbert for excellent housekeeping. This is what I needed for January reading, since the house has collected a little clutter over the past month. I’ve completed all kinds of extra little jobs, inspired by these stories.

The kids are also getting whipped into shape after Christmas time sloth. They’re coming home to job lists because the best kind of people know how to work. I never give my kids chores. I give them jobs. The choice of names conveys an important message.

They all approach their jobs differently, but an incentive is important for my boys. Our incentives always involve screen time: computer, t.v., or Wii. They must really want to watch something today, because I just found Daniel and Timothy practicing different songs on two different instruments in the same room. I’ll let them get away with it today because they are sharing so nicely.

A little hike

Little Cottonwood Canyon is about 4 minutes from our house. I decided to take the kids on an introductory hike to see how things looked from higher up on the mountain.

The locals said it was easy and only a half a mile. Baloney. It was hard.

But like any good hike, there is a reward when you can’t go another step.

I let the kids walk around the reservoir while I curled up in the shade and cooled off.

It was a gorgeous place to rest.

I love going on adventures with my kids.

This weekend was such a gift. The kids had some days off from school and the weather was gorgeous. We saw cousins on two different days; Richard and I spoke in church; Paige played a piano solo in sacrament meeting. These have been really good days.

Innocence on September 11th

photo taken just days before September 11, 2001

Somehow it’s therapeutic to retell where we were when terrible events happened. I was home in Austin, Texas with little Paige and Daniel and a neighbor baby on the morning of September 11, 2001. As the news spread, another neighbor left her babies with me as she ran to the school to pick up her daughter. I gathered the five innocents on the little toddler bed in our school room and turned off the television that replayed events too terrible for them to see. I was grateful that our home was a safe haven for the children who were in my care that day. That evening I put on my Cub Scout uniform and spent time with the Cub Scouts, talking and listening, numb and sad, but feeling the pride of that American flag on the uniform. I have always felt grateful that I was surrounded by innocent children on that day.