Motherhood – Page 37 – Letters from Home

Perspective, Planning, and Pep Talk

When I read a book on the Kindle I don’t know how long it is when I begin because there aren’t page numbers, just “locations,” which I have never paid attention to. Last night after another evening of reading and making no progress, I looked up how many pages Middlemarch has: nearly 900. What a perfect metaphor for life right now. It’s hard to see the end as we slog through these last weeks of school.

I realized last night that I’m living in the Burnout Place. It’s an optional stop on the road, but I have set up camp there and I’m having a hard time packing up and leaving.

Today I’m taking time to remind myself that baseball season and the last month of school will not last forever. I am going to be patient and perhaps buy a few more meals by take-out in the next few weeks without guilt or apology. I am not going to dwell on negative words of others and remember that I am not the solution to every problem. I’m probably not the solution to ANY problem. I don’t have to be awesome! I just need to love this little family and feed them. My mascot for the month is Dory from Finding Nemo.

“Just keep swimming, just keep swimming…”

Did you know that I don’t actually know how to swim? It’s a good thing that I am just living in the land of metaphor this morning.

Boy #2 and Boy #3 update

Today was a big day for the boys. Mark tried out being a catcher for the first time. He said it wasn’t as fun as he thought it would be. I’m pretty sure the color of the gear played a big part in his desire to be a catcher.

The fifth grade classes were recognized for their work in a program run by the police department today in an assembly with parents invited. Timothy really liked the police officer who taught him for 13 weeks. Timothy gave up all media for one week to fulfill one of the requirements in the class. He was told that if he did it, there would be an amazing prize at graduation. He received a water bottle. Um, I don’t know how he felt, but I was so disappointed!It was a day of cheering for the boys. Hooray!

Easter week

I have been looking forward to this week for a long time. It’s Spring Break and the kids are home with me. Hooray!

It’s also Easter week. To celebrate, each day I am focusing on something specific to be a better disciple of Christ. I’m focusing on personal religious practices, missionary efforts, and service. When I first started thinking of what I could do each day, the ideas were pretty basic, but now that I have this focus on trying to be a better disciple, I find that the day is full of unexpected and interesting opportunities and there is a spirit of adventure in the search and in the acts.

Jesus Christ really is the great liberator.

An empty frame

I have decided to hang a few pictures above my desk. Here I will display a few of the life events, people, and accomplishments that are important to me. I have a photo of my college graduation, my seminary class in Texas, the Young Women in Arizona in front of the Mesa temple, our kids beside the community pond that we maintained in Arizona, a violin performance, and a few others.

I am having trouble finding a photo to represent what I am accomplishing right now.

What I do is repetitive. It involves a lot of time behind the wheel of the van. It is messy. It is either very quiet or very noisy. My life is the observation of tiny expressions, mumbled teenage words, small conversations, and lessons. It’s not on stage; I’m not posing in front of a great monument; there are no journals waiting to publish my words. But it is full. And it is good.

Mothering (our own children or others’ children) is full of minute acts. It’s creation. The world is focused on finished products. Because motherhood is creation, the work is never really finished.

I have decided to hang an empty frame on my wall to remind myself that the life I am living right now is what I came here to do, but a photo wouldn’t be able to capture the facets of it. My empty frame will remind me that THIS stuff that I am doing right now is my greatest work.

Now that I write this, rather than an empty frame, I think a small mirror could be my reminder to keep creating.

For Mark

I made another attempt at a St Patrick’s Day cake this year…and look! We have a rainbow! It makes me happy.

This morning I learned that Mark still believes in Leprechauns. It pretty much made me want to hold him all day long. After sending him off to school in his bright green shirt, I resolved that this sweet little boy would have a special St Patrick’s Day cake.

Dinnertime Conversation of the Week

Mark met a girl at school last year who took an active interest in figuring out why I don’t have a job like her mom. She has talked to me about it and scolded me for just staying home. During our conversations, I have learned that I am hearing her father’s opinions (or her interpretation of his opinions) through her. At school she tells Mark that her family is rich and that she owns 50 horses.

Last night, Mark asked us, “So how DO you get rich?”

He had been thinking… If this little girl at school was rich, it must be because both of her parents work. He gently suggested that I could get a job.

Wealth, to Mark, we discovered, would mean having more video games.

That’s so funny that he thinks I would spend my paycheck on video games. Ha! Regardless of our wealth, I will continue to be the major impediment to a life of video game ecstasy in the lives of my children, for which they will thank me someday, but not today.

I think there are things we can do to teach the value of each person’s contributions in our family. I think we do this through assigning jobs to our children and Working Beside Them. We can show appreciation verbally for jobs well done. As a homemaker, I can express the joy this brings to me and the appreciation I have for Richard who makes our comfortable life possible. And we can be kind to those who belittle our efforts.

Now, let me say unequivocally that I am thrilled with the educational and other opportunities that are available to women. I treasure the fact that the backbreaking work and domestic drudgery required of women has been reduced in much of the world because of modern conveniences and that women are making such magnificent contributions in every field of endeavor. But if we allow our culture to reduce the special relationship that children have with mothers and grandmothers and others who nurture them, we will come to regret it.

-Elder Quentin L. Cook, Ensign, November 2013

My Day

It was another long-list Monday.

One thing on my list was to deep clean the mudroom while doing laundry.

It’s no longer covered in dust, lint, clutter, and grime. I love spring cleaning.

Our Week

These frames are at Michaels in the dollar bins. These are Easter time pictures of each of the kids when they were about two years old. They were all such little sweeties.

I still have so many blank walls in the house. It’s daunting for me to decorate because I don’t put something on the wall unless it is meaningful to me, and that’s a tall order. I’ve been working on a few photo projects to cover some of these empty spaces in the house. I found this collage frame and filled it with photos of Richard and me for our bedroom.

As you can see, it’s still not on the wall. I have so many ideas, but perfectionism gets in the way.

Look at this picture I found:

Tres chic, I know. The baby’s hat! The scarf! The distinguished young man!

In other news, Richard had a birthday.

I made him good things to eat. What did he ask for? Lentil soup, steak, and lemon bars. Steaks are for the weekend. The Young Men were short on rides to the mountains for a night sledding expedition, so that’s what he did on his birthday. He went night sledding with the neighborhood teenage boys.

Paige took her first sick day since going to public school this week. She’s working on an art project with this selfie. She’s feeling better today.

Daniel is working the microphones for the school play. He goes to school at 6:45 a.m. and comes home for dinner, then back again for the performance. He likes working on the stage crew. He got his first taste of it when Paige was dancing in Arizona:

He’s a lot taller now.

I am going to begin teaching violin lessons next week. You have no idea how I agonized over my inability, then my lack of time, and finally my monthly rate. All of my creative energy this week went into that decision and then I took to my bed for a day in exhaustion and with an upset stomach. I’m such a Victorian that I should carry around smelling salts. Despite my turmoil, I believe it will help me to be teaching again.

Presidents Day

My brother-in-law Richard tells me that in Utah, the holiday is called Washington and Lincoln Day. Well, we celebrated it by climbing rocks.

Did you notice that Sparky is smiling in that one?

Well, that’s all for today. I need to get back to sorting papers, magazines, and toys from all of the baskets on our shelves. So far I have discovered that we have missed several non-required school assignments, allowed numerous gift certificates to expire, and that I need to stop hoarding personal letters. I also need to part with about 15 years of Taste of Home magazines. I just know that if I get rid of them, I am sure to be called to the Relief Society and have to plan meals for masses of people again and I will need those “recipes for feeding a crowd”. Come to think of it, perhaps it’s good insurance to keep them around.

Valentine Box

We have made our first valentine box ever. Ta da! It’s a Kleenex box and lids from milk containers. It took 10 minutes plus drying time. That’s my kind of craft. Mark and the boys are totally pleased with this Lego replica.