I never considered that reading the gospel of Mark would be a perfect way to bring in the New Year. It is so good at showing how to prioritize reflection and people despite being busy…even busy doing worthy things.
I read Mark 5 with the kids yesterday after school and asked them what they thought about a question I was pondering. Jesus told the man from whom he had cast out devils to go and tell his friends about it. Most of the time, Jesus tells people to keep the miracle of healing a private experience. (People can’t help telling, though.) Why was this man asked to share?
I didn’t expect an answer. In fact, I hadn’t found a satisfactory answer for myself. However, before we moved to the next verses, Timothy had a thought. He told us that Jesus knew that he would be surrounded by crowds of people asking him to heal them, but he was most willing to heal those with spiritual problems.
There you go. The Savior dealt with problems of crowd control, but he wanted it known that he was available to those who sought to be healed spiritually. That is what he was chosen to do from the beginning, and it’s still his work now. I believe it’s what he loves to do.
Daniel, anxious to change after his orchestra concert, pauses for a photo for his mom to share. What a good sport.
This is some of what I did last Thursday:
Cleaned the kitchen
Taught Mark about graphing, the Mycenaeans, and possessives ending with -es
Studied
Prepared food
Helped Tim memorize something
Made a dessert for a work party
Stood in line at the post office
Took Mark to the library
Went shopping
Gave 2 haircuts
Hemmed a tux for Daniel
Wrote a letter
Attended a work party
Attended a parent meeting at the high school
Attended a school band and orchestra concert
At Richard’s work party that night a female engineer asked me, “What do you do?”
I replied with a smile, thinking of all I did that day, “I stay at home.”
I guess my simple answer made her worry about my self esteem, so she told me it’s the hardest job in the world to stay at home.
Being respectful of her decision to work as an engineer, knowing that not all people have the option to stay home or the desire to stay home, and not agreeing that my life is hard, I mumbled something like, “I’m not sure about that…” and changed the subject.
These conversations are exhausting. Any job would be difficult if I didn’t embrace it, but staying home is exactly what I want to do and I love it. Maybe I need to frame my answer so people didn’t feel like they need to reassure me while downplaying their own contribution to the world. 🙂
This week President Henry B. Eyring represented our Church at the Vatican at a colloquium discussing traditional families.
I took notes as I listened to his 13-minute address. Despite current trends of the breakdown of families, he explained how there is hope to make things better. It begins with individuals, living righteous principles, such as holding family prayer, and the tradition passes to the next generation and then the next, growing stronger with each generation. He spoke a great deal about his wife and how they met and how she has helped him in his life.
Here are some of the words he said about his marriage:
I realize now that we grew into one, slowly lifting and shaping each other year after year. As we absorbed strength from each other, it did not diminish our personal gifts. Our differences combined as if they were designed to create a better whole. Rather than dividing us, our differences bound us together. Above all, our unique abilities allowed us to become partners with God…
Now, for my own thoughts on this. What have I learned about family life this week? It can be explained with a little story.
I came home late one night this week. I had missed dinner and family time. It makes me sad when I need to be away during the precious hours that we can be home together. I felt alienated as I walked into the kitchen and saw that the dinner I had prepared was now eaten and everyone was engaged in homework and other activities. But I didn’t get far into the kitchen before Richard and Mark ran upstairs to me and welcomed me home and gave me big hugs. That made me so happy. I’m convinced that successful marriages and families are built on very simple but consistent things. In this case, it was a warm welcome home.
This picture has nothing to do with the post, except maybe to indicate that I like to sit down more than I like to move.
I’m looking for someone to motivate me, or just come and do the following things, or be patient as you see these things at our house. I just keep moving them to the to do list for next week when I realize I haven’t done them. Again.
1. Hang pictures in the bathroom (3 months on the list)
2. Hang towel bar in the bathroom (3 months on the list)
3. Finish the Thanksgiving Wall Hanging (13 months on the list)
4. Pull Weeds in the front beds (6 months on the list)
5. Read more than 15 minutes a day (Impossible lately)
6. Prepare teacher kits for Young Women with chalk, eraser, magnets, pencils, etc. (15 months on the list)
7. Buy clear serger thread (18 months on the list) and learn to thread the serger without Susan’s help. (I’ll probably never do this.)
8. Frame Paige’s heritage painting (8 months on the list)
(etc.)
Most of of these things don’t really matter. I have learned that many, many things do not matter. I have learned that when I prioritize, I am less frustrated with things that are left undone. I can delegate some of these things to the kids, too… once some of the craziness is over this month.
After coming home from playing with a puppy: “When Sparky was a puppy, did he think everything was a toy or was he born with dignity?” 8-19-14
While writing thank you notes: “I wonder if there is such thing as a ‘you’re welcome note?‘” 10-1-14
After practicing a fast song on the piano: “That song always makes me slightly dazed.” 10-2-14
Talking about surgery and anesthesia (No one is having surgery; we’re just talking about it.): “I’m not really cool about being put to sleep. I’d probably be okay with a Harry Potter potion, though.” 10-22-14
“If you know you’re not sick and your feel your forehead and it’s warm, does that mean your brain is working? Because that happens when I do my multiplication timed tests.” 10-27-14
While writing a story about 3 children catching an insect: “John was going to be the main character but it turned out that Peter is because he has the net. Whoever wields the net is the main character.” 10-28-14
Here are some links to articles that have given me something to think about this month.
“Fundamental to looking after someone is finding where they came from and what they need.” This service to displaced women in Iraq really touched me.
Some of the benefits of writing are shared in this article. For the first two links, I thank Catherine.
This piece describes what it’s like to be a high school student, and it’s not about peer pressure and drugs. It’s about teacher-student relationships and restricted movement.
Mark and I needed these graphics a few weeks ago to show relative sizes of objects in the solar system.
Stephanie led me to this article that turned my heart. Go ahead and give those tall boys some candy on Halloween.
If you need a smile, here are some monsters for your Halloween delight, drawn by second graders and embellished by high school students. Brilliant! This one was from Russ.
Timothy earned some extra money this summer because he got a job mowing a neighbor’s lawn. He has been faithful and hard-working. I know it was a challenging thing for him to do, but he didn’t act like it was.
Timothy is a saver. He decides what he wants and takes the time to save for it. He bought a Lego set last week that he’s been working for all summer. After he built it, we decided it was terribly overpriced. I almost want to write a letter to Lego. Their profit margin is over 30% and when I think of all the hours and labor that this boy gave for that disappointing set, I am a little frustrated. Timothy is happy, but I think he has learned to be a little more cautious.
Just a smattering of thoughts today, readers.These super hero prints were a gift to the kids from the artist, Josh Talbot. We bought my new violin from his wife.I love pumpkins, and pumpkins from a friend are especially nice.Welcome to our house!Photo is from Halloween 2006
There are fewer costumes to get ready for Halloween this year. When I think back to the years when we coordinated costumes for the kids, I feel thankful that we made those memories. Super Heroes, The Wizard of Oz, and Star Wars were my favorite themes. I spent a little time sewing Halloween bunting over the fall break. Mark has been my helper to decorate the house. One day he spent an hour wrapping little skeletons in t.p. so they would look like mummies. He emphasized to me that the mummies are NOT for the house, but special for his room. Mark and I found this to be a mutually agreeable use for the mummies.
Mark told us that he didn’t need help with his tie. Okay.
The kids had a piano recital this weekend. Paige played the Mendelssohn Concerto in g minor op. 25, 1st movement. Daniel played Maple Leaf Rag by Joplin and a nice contemporary concerto called Concerto Bravo by Olsen. Timothy played Bach’s Solfeggietto and a piece called Frenzy. Mark surprised us again with very expressive dynamics in Spy Bot (He’s a real showman!) and amazed us with his speed at playing Cinnamon Popcorn. The older kids who played concertos were accompanied by their teacher, who spent a lot of extra time working with them on their pieces. She’s in the photo with the kids.
Mark’s measurement robot. I can’t tell you how many times this robot comes to my mind when I am working in the kitchen.
Home school with Mark is comfortable, sweet, and a joy. I’m savoring the time with him. Our studies follow a familiar path through ancient history, math facts, science, and writing. With each child, however, there is zeal for different favorite subjects and I enjoy seeing Mark’s personality and strengths emerge as we work on projects. Mark is good company, and we have the best conversations, and by that I mean we talk through a depth and breadth of his thoughts about super heroes, Star Wars, planets, Calvin and Hobbes, and Harry Potter. I write down some of the things he says as a keepsake of this time together.
On another front…
I find sharing my faith on Facebook to be very tricky. I admire people who can share concise, genuine statements about their testimonies. One thing I am thinking about is how to convey my testimony more effectively (online, among friends) without sounding like a Puritan or shaking so much in my boots. I posted the following paragraph on Facebook, but didn’t get any “LIKES” from my friends of other faiths. Does this mean I sounded like a Puritan to them? Who knows.
The LDS missionaries in our area needed some teaching practice so they picked our family. I loved how they taught and shared their love for the gospel of Jesus Christ. I wish I had invited someone to join us. Next time you see the missionaries, consider listening to their message with an open heart and mind. It will make your day. Their message is the most important part of my life.
Do you have thoughts about sharing your faith online?
I write this as the missionaries sit outside with Richard at a correlation meeting. They are around our house a lot. I am NEVER prepared when they come. One day I walked into the kitchen after showering, looking for a hair brush in my purse. It wasn’t until I had loaded the dishwasher while sporting wet, messy hair that I noticed that the missionaries were in the next room watching me make a fool of myself. Today they have to sit outside because every living area in the house is full of toys and friends. I just never know when they are going to show up.
This is probably one reason people respond well to online missionary work. I just need to learn how to do it better. Really, do you have suggestions?
We shopped at probably 20 stores before finding this dress. It didn’t require any alterations to make it modest. Hooray!
As I made alterations to Paige’s most recent school dance dress, I thought, “There must be a special reward in heaven for this work to keep my daughter covered.” I’m hoping for a comfortable room where there are endless romantic comedies playing and the chocolate is without calories. 😉 Modesty is a huge topic, but today, I’m just talking about dresses.
An invitation to a dance means that we will spend a lot of time looking for a dress which will need some alterations after we find it. Formal dresses rarely have sleeves, backs, or adequate fronts. Short dresses are too short. Always. This means that it will take some significant effort to find or make something nice. Young men need to understand this and ask young women several weeks before the dance.
It is easier to find a modest dress in Utah than in other states that I have lived, but they are rarely flattering. At one store in our mall, there is whole wall of the same dress in a variety of colors. They have sleeves, but the dresses are expensive and boring. Most often, the solution is to buy something that your daughter is not comfortable wearing and then fix it so it covers her. These are the strategies that I have seen to fix a sleeveless or short dress:
Wear a t-shirt: the girl will wear a cap sleeve t-shirt beneath the dress in an (almost) matching color or contrasting color. The problem with this is that cotton jersey knit isn’t in the same league with satin or chiffon. It’s really awkward looking. But if I see a girl who has decided that this is the best way for her to feel covered and comfortable, I say it’s better than nothing! Paige wore a satin shirt under a dress once and it was a nicer solution than a t-shirt.
Wear a bolero: the girl will simply place a bolero jacket over the sleeveless or strapless dress, and voila! She is covered. The problem with this is that it’s not original and bolero jackets don’t always match the style of the dress.
Make sleeves or inserts from fabric that doesn’t quite match: It’s impossible to match dress fabric perfectly. The sheen or the shade will be slightly off, and that’s annoying. One year we bought an inexpensive dress at Ross and put an insert in the front. The insert didn’t quite match, but it reflected 5 hours of shopping, so we called it a triumph.
It’s difficult to find fabric to match your dress.
Make sleeves from fabric from the dress: If you are lucky, you might have some pockets or a few extra inches of fabric you can remove from the sides or bottom of the dress with which you can construct sleeves. This is my favorite solution because no one can tell that you have reworked the dress.
We bought this dress even though it was sleeveless and 12 sizes too big because it was a good length and we could make sleeves with the extra fabric after alterations.
Buy the dress several sizes too big so its length is adequate. It means you need to alter the dress, but as I mentioned earlier, 99% of short dresses are too short, so this is a real solution.
Wear a lacy underskirt: For short dresses, one trend is to wear a lacy underskirt that extends below the hemline of the dress, making it look like a slip is showing. I’ve also seen how girls have sewn wide ribbons to the hem to lengthen the hemline. It was pretty.
Make the dress yourself: Sewing skills are a blessing. If it’s not your thing and you have someone in your life who can make something from scratch, hooray!
Modest dresses are not easy to find, even for young girls. I made this dress in Arizona because we couldn’t find anything in stores. While shopping for patterns, I met another mother who was trying to teach herself how to make sleeves for her daughter’s strapless prom dress. We shared a moment of camaraderie and panic, but then we got brave and sewed. I got to see the finished prom dress from a distance and gave a silent cheer for the mother who made it work.
All complaining aside, the effort and frustrations are worth it when you see your daughter look beautiful, intelligent, and refined. That’s what modesty is about. It’s a mirror to reflect how she feels about herself and her Creator.
Two baseball players made 4 baseball games a week plus a practices this fall. Richard and I have divided and conquered since the games fell on the same nights. I was Mark’s cheerleader, and Richard was Timothy’s assistant coach. It’s been a good season for each boy. Sitting outside looking up at the mountains changing color during the games make it seem like an ideal activity. Evenings where it was cold enough to huddle in blankets were rare this year.
