Category: Motherhood

Observer

A lot happened in the two years since we gathered at the Weber cabin with the Sanchez family. The kids are all taller, smarter, and more confident. I am an observer in a group, so I saw many encouraging things about my family. I heard a recurring theme: things had been really rough for our teens during the past couple of years. From my vantage point, they are doing better than they know, and they have steady friends in their cousins. These friendships will continue to be a real source of strength in their lives. And those challenges they’ve faced? These have given them a new depth and maturity.

photos by Susan and Richard Jaussi

Our family moved from Arizona to Utah 9 years ago. We don’t see extended family as often as I thought we would, but living here makes it possible for us to be there for the little things. Life is made of little things like a shared meal, a group project, listening to music together, exchanging books, babysitting, and being available to come over and visit. I loved living outside of Utah, but I couldn’t do the little things when we lived away.

Today I am feeling a little longing for the family that we used to be, but I know it was good that we traded almost complete independence in Arizona for a more connected life in Utah.

nine years ago, right after our move to Utah

Eagle Court of Honor for Tim and Mark

The boys earned their Eagles about 18 months ago, just before the pandemic. We wanted to do a court of honor with family at the Weber, so we waited a long time for this. We gathered on a Sunday evening at Pines Ranch during the reunion, and I just love a mountain backdrop for this event. It was a special evening.

Our Cub Scout and Girl Scouts helped with the flag ceremony.

I really like how the little cousins wanted to be in the middle of things.
Richard and I made a slideshow of each boy, and Richard took some time to reminisce about Scouting with Tim and Mark.
My dad pulled out from storage his uniform and presented the awards. We dug deep into our closets to find the Scout things we have neglected for 18 months. I remember picking up their Eagle awards in February 2020 (it feels a lifetime since then) and crying as I drove away from the Scout office for the last time.
Their cousin Ray just completed his Eagle project, so while we couldn’t award him his rank, we honored him with a slideshow just like we did for Tim and Mark.
A wild eagle flew overhead as Mark was presented with his Eagle.
I was delighted, as you can see.
singing with Grandma
My boys (singing)
The end.

Photos by Daniel Ross, Michael McLaughlin, and Richard Jaussi

2021 Sanchez Reunion Day 1

The trading post was run by my parents. Kids could trade for knapsacks, toys, gear, and treats.

They traded with beads they earned by doing good deeds in the weeks leading up to the reunion.

Class 1: knots by Paul
Class 2: orienteering by Susan
Class 3: field study by Matt
Class 4: first aid by Sarah
Class 5: rock painting by Paige
We have a tradition with the little kids to paint rocks and trees with water and they love it.
Class 6: slingshots with Richard
Lots of river play

My dad gave everyone a copy of his book.
Virginia Reel before bed

Harvest

Richard brought in a bowl of fresh raspberries from our yard, and within two minutes he was eating them on top of ice cream.

This week I got a call that my dad’s books were ready. Mark and I hauled out the heavy boxes to the car and took them to my dad. He hugged the one I handed to him and said it was pretty. The books ARE pretty! I also took a copy to Paige who illustrated the book so beautifully.

At church on Sunday, a bishop took time to acknowledge my work the past year with baptisms. With Covid, we needed to schedule baptisms individually, which meant a lot of coordination with bishops and families and many trips to the church. This was a huge piece my life for a year and someone noticed and took time to thank me publicly for some very behind-the-scenes work.

Richard and I have been working on an Eagle court of honor for Tim and Mark. Because of the pandemic we decided not to gather last year to honor them. Last night we finished the slideshows of their Scouting years. Richard’s steady presence in their journey was evident in the photos and videos we sorted. And they grow up right before our eyes in these slideshows.

Life has felt burdensome lately, and these harvest moments have given me a needed lift.

Grab Bag

There’s just a random collection of things to share this week.

Reading: Simple Justice by Richard Kluger (history about Brown v. Board of Education) and Miss Buncle novels (fun)

Eating: corn on the cob and every fruit

Thinking about: my next writing project (Which project do I choose? How long will I spend each day working on it? Who is my audience? How will I find the solitude to do it?)

Looking back over the month of June: We got through all the doctor checkup appointments and wisdom teeth extractions. I hiked more than I have in years. We finished and ordered 50 copies of my dad’s book.

Watching: a broad variety of things, mostly with Mark, who is also a cinephile. If you like biography, the Garth Brooks documentary on Netflix was interesting and inspiring. For kids, we liked Luca and The Mysterious Benedict Society on Disney+. Richard and I enjoyed The Terminal with Tom Hanks.

Listening to: Elmer Bernstein’s To Kill a Mockingbird soundtrack; Josh Groban (His duet, Both Sides Now, with Sara Bareilles is really good, but it’s impossible for me to sing along); silence.

Relieved about: the dogs behind our house are gone.

The sounds of their panting and long-nailed feet as they scrambled down rotten deck stairs when they heard me open the back door were nightmarish. But the barking was terrifying.

Wondering: if this blog is worth anyone’s time.

Inspired by: the people of Ammon in the Book of Mormon (Alma 26; 27:10, 29-30) What acts of courage are required of me? Also, Doctrine and Covenants 67 is a beautiful formula and foundation for staying true to the faith: trust the Creator, don’t focus on flaws of leaders, don’t fear, don’t be prideful and jealous. God will reveal himself to you as you are humble. Continue in patience.

Seek not to be cumbered

It’s been a personal project for several years to write fewer things on my TO DO list. I don’t want to be at the mercy of my plans. I want to be focused, but flexible.

I began simplifying so I could be more present with my family. As I look back on a couple years of efforts to simplify, I see it has sometimes been a struggle. At times, I resented that it was my own fault that I was too busy. Wasn’t I supposed to be achieving and stretching? I felt sorry for myself when I didn’t allow more check marks to prove my value. I feared that I was limiting myself. It is so ingrained in our culture to be busy that I felt like I was choosing to be lazy. I didn’t trust that I was still “anxiously engaged in a good cause” if I was free in the evenings, available to talk or watch a show.

Over time, I began to see that clear space in the day is essential. This is the creative space, the spontaneous, fun space, the space for connection. I have noticed that I am producing as much as I ever did, and I’m still making steady progress towards larger goals. The big difference is that I am less weary, distracted, and fragile.

So, for the past few years, I haven’t let myself fill every line in the day planner. The idea is to have empty lines and white space on the page.

I like to choose a monthly focus and a few weekly goals. I choose a focus of the month to remind myself that I don’t need to think about everything all the time. This month, the focus is Health. Next month, the focus is Celebrations. Sometimes there isn’t a neat focus word for the month but I write down a word or two to help me see where I am headed. It helps!

Last week’s reading assignment in the Doctrine and Covenants had a line that stood out to me, “Seek not to be cumbered.” (Doctrine and Covenants 66:10; See also Luke 10:40.) To me this means don’t try to fill life so full, even with good things, that I can’t enjoy the best things. I think it also means adjusting my attitude about the things I must do. Sometimes the most cumbersome thing I deal with is my own terrible attitude. I believe no matter your season of life, your personality, or challenges, that “seek not to be cumbered” is a really good idea.

In No Particular Order

Josh and Tim in a garage with their yard equipment. Love them.
Daniel is working a few jobs and resumes school at BYU next week. He dresses up for work. So handsome.
We drove past this scene and turned around to be sure. Was that thing real?
Why yes, it is real. G.O.A.T. and he knows it.
Not going to lie, I am not working on this right now, but it is waiting for me.
My dad’s book is in the hands of the book binders now. This is a big deal.
Richard, Mark, and I have been hiking frequently in this area near our house. Mark is a speedy hiker.

Summer goes by so quickly!

Quiet house

Are you ready for a new week? I’m not. Last week I did a lot of things, but this week should be more quiet. As I hurried about last week, I listened to some music to keep things going. I don’t usually listen to music when I am at home, but I heard this twice within a couple of days and it reached my heart.

I also rarely listen to podcasts, and that is something that makes me feel increasingly different than the crowd. I am not an auditory learner. A podcast doesn’t stay in my head, so it’s mostly a waste of time. I read a lot, not just the books I keep a record of here, but news, psychology, science, and economics articles. I don’t listen to music much at home because I just like the quiet, punctuated by piano practice. In the car, it’s often classical music for me, not because I am a snob, but because it reminds me of my teen years playing chamber music. It’s quite often that I hear a piece I have played and it makes me happy.

I hope you find music and quiet and wonderful noise to fill your week, and that you have a good book to read.