We were able to see Tim speak in stake conference via YouTube. He and the other elders in his apartment made a video and showed it as part of his presentation. It made me smile even bigger than his mission leaders, seated behind him, to see him at work as a missionary.
Dear friend,
I write as I listen to the machinery getting started in my neighborhood. Today, it is an excavator removing a lawn. I have placed my chair so I don’t have to watch, but I can’t escape the sounds. Construction sounds and large trucks and vehicles parked all over the street make for a congested scene.
This week marks the second anniversary of my surgery and long adjustment to a new diet. At least I can still eat candy. And with great sincerity, I want to say I am grateful for my life!
My grandmother taught me to use a timer for tasks. Recently, I set a 10-minute timer in each room I wanted to clean. In an hour, I had done more than I expected because I didn’t have time to get distracted. Also, each day I set a 3-hour timer in the late mornings where I am not supposed to touch my phone. I am in need of all such remedial helps.
When I get Instagram friend requests from teen girls in my neighborhood, I bite my clenched fist and wonder if I should accept. I don’t want to contribute to their social angst. I can’t be counted upon to respond to all their content, and I feel a responsibility to provide some of my own steadying content for their feeds. I am currently so disgusted with social media, and what the creators have knowingly done to girls and women, and therefore families. I am sad that so many women-run businesses depend upon an ever-changing and impossible algorithm to promote their brands.
I finished Brothers Karamazov this week. (If you’re curious, to pronounce it, there is an emphasis on the second a.) I read it to gain some wisdom, but mostly felt baffled by the incongruous mixture of content: murder, monastic life, courtroom scenes, debauchery, betrayal, suicide, mentoring children…It was Dostoyevsky’s last book, and I guess he had things he wanted to say.
A few of quotes from the book,
There are souls which, in their limitation, blame the whole world. But subdue such a soul with mercy, show it love, and it will curse its past, for there are many good impulses in it. Such a heart will expand and see that God is merciful and that men are good and just.
Despair and penitence are two very different things.
Ah, man should be dissolved in prayer.
Don’t be like everyone else, even if you are the only one.
Cana of Galilee, the first miracle… Ah, that miracle! Ah, that sweet miracle! It was not men’s grief, but their joy Christ visited. He worked his first miracle to help men’s gladness.
When you are left alone, pray
And even though your light was shining, yet you see men were not saved by it, hold firm and doubt not the heavenly light. Believe that if they were not saved, they will be saved hereafter, then their sons will be saved, for your light will not die when you are dead. The righteous man departs, but his light remains.
Prayer is an education.
Must… Stop… Quoting… Dostoyevsky…
Recently, we arrived at the first gathering of young men and women at our house with Mark, our baby, as host. I remember the shock of our first girl-boy party when it arrived for Daniel. I smile to see that some younger siblings mirror their older sisters’ steps into our house.
Richard is the only person I know who has a weight lifting bench that he uses regularly.
Daniel is getting married in July, and it occurs to me that I never got around to hanging those shelves he wanted in his bedroom. It is too late now. Don’t get me wrong, this is not the only thing I think I have neglected in my teaching and caring of him. Insert end of an era kind of emotions here.
Richard and I were able to get appointments at the Draper temple on Good Friday. I love this temple more than any other, and I am so glad they are back to (I think) full capacity.
Well, this has been an indulgent and rambling letter. Take what you need, and try to forget the rest. Thank you for taking time to check in.
Love,
A.
It is a formula that works, to visit Marysvale each summer. This year, we visited for a couple days during Spring Break. Many trails were still covered in snow, but we discovered a new waterfall and had adventures all the same.
So much of my heart went into this night that it feels strange to write about it here. I’ll fill some pages in my journal about it.
Please enjoy the pretty pictures of my family and homemade petit fours. (Mark helped me with the fondant glaze and Paige made the rosettes.)
Tim is stretching as a Tagalog language missionary in North Shore Vancouver. His companion is fluent in Tagalog, as he was born in the Philippines, but moved to Canada many years ago. Tim is using his piano and organ skills in choir, sacrament meeting, and Primary. He lives in a basement apartment in the stake president’s home. I try to keep track of those who take good care of the missionaries, and in this area, the Oro family really stands out. I am thankful for them! He goes into the city often because that is where they can find Filipinos, and there is a lot of driving involved. Also, they are trying to get to know the members, as both elders are new in the area. They teach a weekly English class which they are trying to get more people to attend. On Preparation Days, he visits gorgeous places, plays volleyball, does laundry, and calls home.
There is a missionary mom on Tim’s mission Facebook page who sends out a reminder message every Monday, “Mamas, charge up your phones!” because that is the day we get to talk. Lately, we talk for a long time.
Some things that I admire about Elder Ross as a missionary:
I want to remember this day of health, warmth, light, work, and family. It was a long winter for me, and a worrisome season. There are moments in life that you can’t predict or arrange, whose simple power is that they can soften stings and weariness. These few hours of work with my parents, Richard, and Mark are Spring Lake made me almost laugh at my burdens of the past few months. “Was THAT all you were carrying?” the sunlight and snowdrops* helped me to see. “Look around and feel better!” I stayed in the light and felt warm after months of battling the shivers.
*Snowdrop flowers rightfully symbolize empathy and consolation.
I prescribed another reading of The Secret Garden for myself because I think it holds many of the keys to a good life.
I love to read about Mary’s transformation from a sickly, weak, lonely girl, to one who has energy to love people and life.
She had to work to get there, along with the play and self care.
I tackled a closet cleanout yesterday that I have been putting off for a long time. It was a lot of work, and I was tired when I finished, but also invigorated! With this momentum, I sat down at my desk and finished some more neglected projects.
I am thankful for the nature of work, how it forces me to move, build strength, go outside, and then it gives back the impulse to do more. Isn’t it funny how the most difficult step is usually just to begin?
I want you to see Paige’s reworking of her Secret Garden illustrations, so I am prescribing a visit to her website, www.paigemclaughlinart.com. The Secret Garden project can be seen by clicking this LINK.
On Saturday, I found this photo in a little album. Timothy was three, and the dog was a new puppy, not yet house trained. We had just moved into our new house in Sahuarita, Arizona. Mark would be born in a few days. Paige was dancing ballet almost every night, and Daniel would soon begin piano lessons. I miss those little faces.
I keep “hearing” the dog’s step, and expecting him to follow me around the kitchen, or to greet me at the door. Today, I saw Richard out of the corner of my eye and my mind registered that he was holding our dog. It will take some time to get used to living without the pup.
I am lucky to be able to see our children pretty often, but having a missionary is definitely a heart-stretching time. We were six plus a dog when we moved to Utah, and now we are three in this house.
Mark played Rustles of Spring by Sinding tonight in a piano recital. It’s a piece I hope he never stops playing. Earlier in the day he played the piano accompaniment for a trumpet trio called Bugler’s Holiday at a Regional solo and ensemble event. They qualified for State. He had quite a day, and I got to attend both events. You should totally Google these pieces. They are sparkly.
I am grateful I got to see our Tim speak in sacrament meeting in Canada today via Zoom.
I finished reading Saints volume 2, and it had a LOT about opening the missions of the South Pacific in the mid-1800s. One takeaway is that the Lord had specific people in mind to introduce the gospel to the Pacific, and He even used them multiple times throughout their lives. I know the Lord loves all of his children and He has a plan for gathering them.
Timothy’s grandfathers served missions on isles of the sea, in Samoa and Puerto Rico.
I keep a list of scriptures about the promises to the isles of the sea, as I continue to pray that missionaries can return to areas that are currently closed.
“In an acceptable time I have heard thee O isles of the sea…and helped thee, and I will preserve thee, and give thee my servant for a covenant of the people.” (1 Nephi 21:8, Isaiah 49:8)
“Great are the promises of the Lord unto them who are upon the isles of the sea.” (2 Nephi 10:21)
“I remember those who are upon the isles of the sea, and will bring forth my word unto the children of men, yea, even upon all the nations of the earth.” (2 Nephi 29:7)
Of course, Jacob considered the Americas an isle of the sea, so Canada counts, too. (2 Nephi 10:20)