Category: Motherhood

Hopscotch

I’m currently in a time warp because I have been tackling Christmas a little earlier this year. In my head, it is Christmastime, but the grocery store reminds me there is a big Thanksgiving holiday ahead. I have a friend who does her Christmas shopping by October, sets up her tree in early November, and sails through December. I admit that I don’t like to skip the focus of Thanksgiving, but this year, surrounded by Christmas preparations, I am not living in the moment. Maybe playing hopscotch over Thanksgiving helps me forget the empty chairs around our table as I make sure there are simple gifts beneath every tree. Perhaps focusing on Christmas is one way to show my thanks for my greatest blessings: our Savior and our family.

Oh, look. I wrote a book.

A mother of very young children asked me in church on Sunday, “So, what do you do all day [now all your kids are gone]?”

Lately, this is a difficult question to answer without some emotion, but I wanted to convey to her that I love my life. I have always been able to do the things that match my temperament, family, and interests. So I chose to say this about my new phase of life, “I am a writer, and solitude is good for that.”

A couple weeks ago, I compiled the talks that I’ve given in sacrament meetings and stake conferences for the last 9 years serving as a church organization president of a Relief Society and then stake Primary. Friends, I have written a book of religious thought without realizing it. 😂

Bedside photograph

This photograph sits at my bedside and it makes me feel the blessing of my years with our children. It’s a bright spot in the dull days of grief that I am experiencing. Yes, grief for a good thing like a son going on a mission! The feelings of loss will do their work and change me, and that is a gift. The sadness will also wane in its intensity. So, please be patient and gentle. I am under construction again.

MMSK and Conference

Before Mark was set apart as a missionary, he wanted one last gathering with his Sanchez cousins who are his age, so we invited them to spend part of conference weekend here. MMSK is pronounced “misk,” and it’s an acronym of their names. Mostly, there was a lot of nonsense going on as they “watched conference”, but I think that the time together was important.

Mark and Richard attended a session of General Conference on Sunday. They brought the binoculars, which was a great idea.

Mark’s last traditional general conference tower for a while.

When Mark sent in his mission papers last spring, I assumed he would be on a mission long before now. We’ve had a long preparation period, which was good in many ways and challenging in others.

We had time for more spiritual preparation and temple worship. Mark received mentoring in Preach My Gospel and got some work experience from his Sanchez grandparents. We had time to travel this summer.

The long wait means that the bandaid is being removed very slowly. I am pretty fragile lately.

Now that Mark has had a few days of home MTC, he is excited to go to the Provo MTC next week. Everything is as it should be: the wait, the anticipation, the emotions accompanying a goodbye, the excitement, his assignment. Everything.

how it’s going

I think that my current anxieties about getting the right clothing for Mark’s mission are because I know that these are some of the last tangible things that I can do for him. We are moving into a different phase where my help shifts almost completely to intangibles. I am crying every day, as one does at such a time.

He has clothing for Arctic temperatures and rain and a lifetime of other preparation. We now have just a few minor things to purchase.

All I need to do is look outside to see my annual “missionary sunflowers” (which first showed up when Daniel left on his mission) for a reminder that God is taking care of everything for Mark. And He allows me to do the very motherly thing to shop for the right coat.