Category: Missionary

Type and Shadow

I feel kinship and pity for Mary who gave birth in a stable. I had an emergency birth with strangers to attend, in a place I didn’t choose, and the feelings I had were fear, frustration, disappointment, and embarrassment. The shepherds were ready to proclaim his birth, but Mary kept these things and pondered them in her heart. I think that is appropriate. In order for there to be tidings of great joy, Mary’s experience had to be difficult, and not easily explained. I read that the manger was likely carved from limestone, somewhat similar to an altar. Even in this lowly place, there was a type and shadow of sacrifice for the Savior’s bed. Luke’s record seems to have the details Mary would remember. The cold manger is one of those details, type and shadow, present even at birth.

Shadows of another kind also accompany Christmas. All light will produce it. In contrast to my feelings of cheer, there is also shadow. My solution when I feel it is to hang more lights and decorations. We have four Christmas trees this year.

The full nature of the Savior’s ministry was to conquer every difficulty, and in this is our hope: he is a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief. The pivotal truth of Christmas is that Jesus came, experienced, and overcame all. He was real. Jesus wept.

I have wept as I comforted a friend this month, and felt more Christmas spirit in that act than any other thing I have done to keep Christmas. I welcome this shadow, because somewhere in that shared cry was also joy.

Daniel’s light still shines for us, and is a source of joy, but his absence is still shadow. This year, Christmas brings into focus a stone manger as an altar, and feelings about my own son far from home. It is a joyful Christmas, but like a drawing, there is neither definition nor depth without shadow.

Missionary message

Daniel (Elder Ross) sends us lots of sunset pictures because they are important to him. So I include them in this post. Here is something he shared with us in a letter this week.

 this week I’ve been studying scriptures about the Savior. I start with one of the prophesies about his birth or life, and then follow the footnotes or chapters as I feel. It’s been so special, and I have a greater love and respect for my Savior. Truly this time of year is a time to celebrate the greatest gift ever given.
A lot of the prophesies about His birth can be found in Isaiah. Isaiah has some scary stuff for us since we live in a different era and don’t understand a lot of the literary techniques they used, nor are we used to having our mortal destruction prophesied so literally and frequently. But I was struck by two things.
First, many times it says “But His hand is stretched out still” or something similar. In the footnotes, it explains that in spite of [everything scary and destructive], the mercy of God is always available. A lot of people that we have talked to say they feel like God only asks things of them and never answers … We need to recognize that God is a perfect parent. If His hand is extended empty to us, it’s not because it lacks a gift. It’s because His work and glory is to lift us up! Don’t forget that. Men are that they might have joy. The footnote on that “Joy” talks about ETERNAL blessings. We might have moments where we don’t feel joy, but we can be sure that God has greater things in store for us.
Second, the phrase “God-fearing” came to mind. At first, why would we want to be that? He’s a father, and we know that those who rule by fear, well… they aren’t so good. But reading about the people of Ammon, we learn that they did not fear death. They would suffer death in the most distressing manner rather than risk sinning again. I think that’s more what the phrase means. Less fear, and more focus. A God-focused people. Because when we focus on Him, we KNOW that we will be okay. We know that He has a plan that will work for each one of us if we choose it. We don’t need to fear the world because He is on our side. -Elder Ross

 

 

This is the scripture I chose for Dec. 4. Our Savior wants us to be where he is. No wonder life requires so much, and no wonder we need his grace. -Angie

Spring Lake Thanksgiving


New rock walls under rain showed their deeper colors and cleaner surfaces, and with a backdrop of new spruce trees and freshly gathered leaves, vintage decor reminded us of loved ones now gone. Little feet ran to familiar haunts as small hands appeared from below, reaching for good bites to eat. Men discussed the carving of the birds as women finished whipping potatoes and set out fruit and rolls. A cousin confessed she had been looking forward to eating this pie for weeks. Quiet readers emerged from the corners to fill plates before retreating again, and tween cousins, too full after appetizers, chose the smallest portions. Each in turn, we named something we are thankful for. I heard myself say with a cheer and hands held high, “I am thankful for a missionary!” There were quiet declarations and strong, and all were sincere. And just like that, the meal was over, the many hours of labor, consumed in minutes. This year, we didn’t wait to serve the pies.

While parents slept, Grandma gathered children for gingerbread house decorating. And the Christmas season began.

Dark so early, we slowed down as the sun sank and we watched Charlie Brown Mayflower Voyagers and snickered through Snowball Express. This year, we delayed watching White Christmas and visited instead. As we should.

This year, we stayed two nights, cuddled under handmade quilts and fleece blankets, without alarm clocks. Blessed rest.

Home again, the busy task of decorating began, one box, one string of lights after another, until the house was full of cheer. And thoughts of Daniel were everywhere, in the ornaments, the food, and the music. Tears are not incompatible with joy. Tim took an early morning drive in the first snow with a driving instructor, and I mailed my last Christmas package as the post office opened. But mostly, we stayed home, feeling peaceful and bright.

Catching up

Mark was honored as an Eastmont Patriot of the Month for citizenship, leadership, scholarship, and extra-curricular activities. Woot!

I helped make this quilt for a new baby in the neighborhood.

Every conversation at our house includes a status update on my massive painting project and Richard’s apple harvest. I stopped counting gallons of paint, but Richard knows exactly how many pounds of apples were produced.

Court of Honor

Missionary

BYU Homecoming Spectacular 3rd row seats. Awesome!

It’s Inktober for Paige on Instagram.

ONE page of a piece Timothy is working on. Legit!

Did I mention I am painting a lot? It feels like our house is finally becoming our own. I waited a long time to paint because I knew what a big job it would be and I didn’t have the time. So far, I have spent about 17 full days on it. I have not had this kind of time…ever in my life to devote to such a project. Someday I might post “after” pictures, but you could also come and visit.

Watching paint dry

This week’s big project is goodbye, yellow paint, icky ceiling paint, unpainted baseboards, and fifty nail holes. The first part of this song keeps going through my head:

Here are a few pictures of Chile in honor of the birthday boy today.

surprise birthday party for Elder Ross

his house

Daniel’s last letter from the MTC

Elder Ross leaves for Chile on Monday. Usually in his letters, he shares funny quotes that he hears in his district and some spiritual thoughts. This was a fun letter. -A

Week 6 missionaries get colored dots for their nametags. We think it’s to show people that they hypothetically (on paper) should potentially-if they’ve been working hard-know enough Spanish to be somewhat competent in conversation. It’s actually impressive how much we’ve all learned.

This was taken in SLC on the day he left with MANY missionaries.

We’re getting all our travel plans now. Monday’s gonna be a long day but I’m so excited!
Not much time this week, so a few quotes and then some Spiritual things. It’s kind of my job.
“In my free time from now on, I’m drawing mancaves.”
“No WAY you’re getting ME in the water with a catfish!”
Elder who mistakenly memorized 3 Nephi 3:7 [It’s worth your time to look this one up.] instead of 1 Nephi for the district goal:
“So, uh, I memorized that scripture, but I don’t feel like it’s the best approach. Are you sure we should tell people that?”
Goofiness aside, we really are having an incredible experience here. I’m learning so much about better study and how the spirit works.
This week I was rereading the story of Nephi and the ship and found it interesting that his brothers saw that “It was good.” This is the same language we see used in the creation as well regarding the works of the Lord. Nephi’s ship was built after the manner of the Lord. I remembered some verses in Moroni 7 (Worth a read) that explain what Good things are and how to recognize them. Ever since, I’ve noticed how that word is used to describe things in the scriptures and it’s been interesting. Not every case works, but it seems like quite frequently it could be used for things that are of God. Kind of cool.
I was reading in Matthew and 1 Nephi about Lehi’s vision and had a thought about the rod of iron, or the scriptures/word of God. The Savior was able to refute every challenge of the adversary with scripture. Satan even tried to use scriptures in some of his challenges, but mingled with garbage. It didn’t work. Satan cannot use the iron rod against us. Hold on to it, guys!
We also see in that scripture in Matthew that Satan’s main/recurring temptation or challenge was for the Savior to do ___ IF he was who he was and is today. This is exactly the same thing we see with Moses in the Pearl of Great Price. He attacks our divine nature and infinite potential as sons and daughters of God, and heirs to all He has if we so choose to live. Remember who you are! If you’re not sure, start studying the scriptures with that question in mind. Or if not that question, any question. You’ll get answers. I promise.
Ask for God’s help. Alma, Nephi, and Lehi (And lots of others) show us that it’s not enough to be called, set apart, righteous, and doing what the Lord asks. PROPHETS that got the strength or guidance or instruction they needed only when they humbled themselves and asked God for what they needed.
Out of time, unfortunately. Love you guys! Praying for you always. Keep doing those good things, and write questions for general conference!!!
Elder Ross

 

 

Two happy things


I found him. Can you? This image is from the Mexico MTC Facebook page. Let me be clear: I am NOT going to be a Facebook mother, offering opinions about what’s going on in his mission with other mothers. I guess this is a thing (smh). It is fun to see this huge group that entered the MTC with him, though.

There was a knock on the door during my Relief Society presidency meeting this week, and it was two members of the Elders Quorum presidency coming to update me on a few ministering changes and to talk to Richard. I invited them to join my presidency meeting and we addressed a lot of issues. I can’t tell you what a blessing this was. This conversation lifted a handful of burdens. Ministering takes a lot of coordination and teamwork, and I am grateful for the new direction in the Church, but also for an Elders Quorum president who shows us over and over that he wants us to be a team.

Unthinkable resilience

Unthinkable resilience! Why should I want to feel better? Is it okay to miss Daniel even though he is doing good things?

“Time will make it better,” they say, but what is time? It’s usually the enemy. Wasn’t it time that got us to the place that time must now heal? I think time is neither enemy nor healer. Relative, temporary, illusive, speeding, slowing, stalled: time is our least dependable marker. To God, time is not as we experience it here. So why is time a cornerstone for us? Perhaps time is just a name for something we can’t name, but surely makes us change.

For almost nineteen years, I set my clock by many of Daniel’s sounds. Lately, I slept after the ratcheting of the lock on the door at night and woke to the close of his basement bathroom door. I timed my days for dinner at 6:30 and the late night talks. And then time seemed to leave as I watched him move away from his youth, not just at obvious milestones, but late one night, sitting in silence with him in the dark after he said a final goodbye to someone. I felt it as he made requests for the care of keepsakes and friends and siblings. Time was not there in these moments, but there was something else. Reality? Presence? Arrival?

It’s always been a balance beam, this relationship. Don’t cling, let him fly, stay centered, don’t react, but never, until recently, be perfectly still. Be still, and realize that it was always God who was holding us up, (not I!) and that this support will continue. For God deals in the realities of people and relationships. How inconsequential is time compared to love!

I begin to understand that my Father in Heaven, not time, is the source of a resilience I can accept.

Consolation

Kindness is the most difficult thing to take right now because it brings out emotions I think I have already dealt with, but kindness also reminds me that I am understood. I may not be answering the door, but I am doing well. I am out each day doing Relief Society work. I have taken the kids to the mall and Costco and up the canyon for driving practice. I am preparing meals and cleaning the house. I am not crying all the time, but I am not yet myself. I am thankful for friends, whose gestures cannot all be pictured here. From eighty-five year-old neighbor Stanford called to check on me, to sixteen-year-old friend Lillie who decorated a cake for us, they represent many ages. Another special friend has left a succession of packages throughout the week. We were invited to dinner and received many flower deliveries. We have felt love from many states. There are friends from Texas and Arizona and high school who have taken time to write words of excitement for us. These gifts of consolation add up to quite a celebration, which is appropriate, considering we have a son who is worthy and willing to be a light.