I asked Paige to illustrate each member of my stake Primary presidency. The upper collage shows the most recent group and the lower collage shows all of the women who served with me during my five+ years as president.
We were released last weekend. The keepsakes from this calling are this little portrait collage and hundreds of lessons of the heart.
This blog tells the tiniest piece of our story. So, if you read my last post and don’t interact with me, you might think that I am languishing. Let me be clear that despite the pull to hold still lately, I definitely continue to do things with joy.
Last week, I celebrated a bride, visited a friend, helped host a dinner for Primary presidents, cheered for the summer olympians, coordinated the staffing of baptisms, attended baptisms, and sewed. I also rearranged the upstairs furniture, only to move it all back in place later in the evening. 😅 But I mostly held still. I don’t know how else to function in this heat and smoke but to stay indoors.
With Mark gone about 3 days a week, I find that my days are empty, just a preview of how it will be when he leaves.
I am not looking for advice or sympathy. In fact, if someone offers it, I bristle.
While expected, this phase has surprised me with its hollowness. My time with my children at home is ending and I don’t feel drawn to do anything. All those things I said I would do later have simply stopped calling.
I feel weary, but more aware and more wise.
My days feel hollow, but personally, I am intact.
I just want to be completely still all of the time. I could take time to really develop this thought, but that would interrupt the stillness that I crave. Here is a simple explanation.
In music and in life, there are necessary rests, pauses, and changes in theme.
The best way I can express it is that I have come to a point of arrival in my song that requires a pause. A rest.
Soon, I will pick up a new theme or begin a new movement. But now, during this scorching summer, I seek rest.
What would you not have accomplished if you had been free?” “Possibly nothing at all; the overflow of my brain would probably, in a state of freedom, have evaporated in a thousand follies; misfortune is needed to bring to light the treasures of the human intellect. Compression is needed to explode gunpowder. Captivity has brought my mental faculties to a focus; and you are well aware that from the collision of clouds electricity is produced— from electricity, lightning, from lightning, illumination.”
“I too, as happens to every man once in his life, have been taken by Satan into the highest mountain in the earth, and when there he showed me all the kingdoms of the world, and as he said before, so said he to me, ‘Child of earth, what wouldst thou have to make thee adore me?’ I reflected long, for a gnawing ambition had long preyed upon me, and then I replied, ‘Listen,— I have always heard of Providence, and yet I have never seen him, or anything that resembles him, or which can make me believe that he exists. I wish to be Providence myself, for I feel that the most beautiful, noblest, most sublime thing in the world, is to recompense and punish.’ Satan bowed his head, and groaned. ‘You mistake,’ he said, ‘Providence does exist, only you have never seen him, because the child of God is as invisible as the parent. You have seen nothing that resembles him, because he works by secret springs, and moves by hidden ways. All I can do for you is to make you one of the agents of that Providence.’ The bargain was concluded. I may sacrifice my soul, but what matters it?” added Monte Cristo. “If the thing were to do again, I would again do it.”
“Count,” said Morrel, “you are the epitome of all human knowledge, and you seem like a being descended from a wiser and more advanced world than ours.” “There is something true in what you say,” said the count, with that smile which made him so handsome; “I have descended from a planet called grief.”
Friends, this was a fun summer read. My dentist recommended it after he realized that I was a reader. You never know where you might find a good book recommendation.
If you decide to take on this mammoth book, I have two suggestions: First, read the Penguin Classics edition, as this translation is great, and second, keep notes on people and families. Begin with the four people who betray Edmund Dantes and their families and friends. Trust that each named character has a part to play throughout.
We were eating steak and ice cream at Sunday dinner on Father’s Day and it reminded us of this movie.
With this reminder, Richard and I decided to sit down to watch Pollyanna this week. We always come away from this show feeling better about life. It also reminds us of our childhoods, the feeling of a small town, and the hometown bazaars we experienced. I think the preacher storyline is especially good.
Hayley Mills earned a special Oscar for this film. She was given a miniature Oscar statue which was later stolen. Just a few years ago, the Academy presented her a new one to replace her last-of-its-kind tiny Oscar that was taken so long ago.
As we approach July 4th and all the family memories this evokes, I realize that it might be easy to believe that some years are for making memories and some years are for reminiscing.
My wish is that you can enjoy both this year.
He who binds to himself a joy
Does the winged life destroy
He who kisses the joy as it flies
Lives in eternity’s sunrise
Eternity, by William Blake
(And happy day to us, July 2 is the anniversary of the first day I saw our house in 2012 and knew that we should live here.)
Well, we made it to our last piano recital, and it was a big one. It was a solo recital for Mark, and he played seven pieces.
I have heard nearly every practice session of Mark’s life in our home (11 years of lessons), but Richard and I enjoyed hearing his pieces played on this magnificent piano. Knowing all it took to get to this point made us really appreciate his interpretations and his growth as a musician and a person.
We had 44 in the audience. I wasn’t expecting that many, and we are touched that people came to cheer for Mark. Piano study is usually pretty solitary, unlike sports or band. So, having family and friends fill the recital hall to give one last hurrah for our youngest pianist made this a joyful night.
This is my presidency after running a stake Primary day camp for about 100 kids yesterday. Phew!
While I was in Alabama, I realized that I should write a little song for Primary day camp, just a super short melody to help us remember a concept. I began writing and whittling down the song until it was just two lines. Richard transcribed it so we had readable sheet music and on Sunday these young women came to our house to learn and record the song.
This little song is to teach the kids at Primary Day Camp how to make goals. Hearing and watching these young women sing these words was a highlight of my week.
I have many gifts from God, and He wants me to grow;
I’ll discover, plan, act, reflect; Seek the Help of the Holy Ghost!
