Category: Life according to Angela

I love my Markie. He’s feeling the separation from me at school very deeply. Instead of allowing him to complain aloud so often, we came up with a sign that he can give when he feels upset. It means, “I need a hug.” We do a lot of hugging these days.

I pray a lot for my kids. I also pray for their teachers to have an extra measure of empathy and love.

I believe that everyone is adventurous and courageous at the core. I believe that that every person had a choice whether or not they came to earth. We showed courage to come here for experience and growth. I reminded the kids about that the other day as we walked to school. We talked about life being full of adventures and that we chose this life, full of challenges because we are brave and we need to learn.

I also believe that when we made the decision to come to earth, it was an informed decision. We didn’t know what our lives would bring, but we knew our Father and we understood that life on earth was an essential step to becoming like Him. We knew there would be a Savior and we knew Him better then, too. We knew that we could trust Him.

I really can’t remember these events, but I know they happened. While my mind can’t remember them, somehow my spirit does, and this brings comfort. It’s a comfort to me to know that I had a home I loved before I came here and to which I can return. It’s a comfort to understand that it’s not important to know the outcome of everything. It’s just important to trust in a God who knows us, loves us, and provides a way for us to face our challenges with courage.

Now, let’s go take on the day.

On Friday evening I took the kids out to dinner. It was a reward to Mark for good behavior in school. We sat out on the patio of the restaurant. Orange, red, and green trees dotted the mountains behind us. The temperature was perfect and the insects stayed away.

The new fountain drink dispenser-turned-constantly-flowing-water-feature entertained us as employees tried to fix it while still serving drinks.

We talked about the new piano teacher, ballet classes, and friends at church. I searched my purse for some cash to buy ice cream for dessert.

I looked at each of the kids, smiling and relaxed together. Paige shared a chair with Mark, Timothy curled up on his chair, and Daniel occasionally waved at friends who were inside the restaurant.

I said, “This feels perfect, just like the old days when we used to spend all day together.”

I have made it a point not to pine over the old days, so I added, “But even though things have changed, it’s a new kind of perfect.”

And it is.

The new kind of perfect is being able to sit outside at a restaurant for an evening meal. It’s classrooms and lockers, recess and cafeterias. It’s repairing old pipes and fixtures in our free time, enjoying our season tickets to BYU football games and gorging on Cougar tails. It’s falling asleep early each night because we’re so tired from all the new people and surroundings. It’s enjoying a backyard with shade, open windows in the house, and a sunny mudroom for laundry and lockers holding backpacks bulging with homework. It’s seeing family and feeling like we’re in the loop again with family news and events. It’s tears and fear, insecurities and new experiences, my mouth full of canker sores from the stress, all while being sheltered by a good house that creaks in the night. Of course it’s a mixture of emotions and reactions, but I know that perfection is something you create, not something that is handed to you. We’re making things work, just as we would anywhere. It does help that we feel like we’re “home,” though.