Category: Joy

What has happened since that first sunflower

The sunflowers now dominate this bed of raspberries and strawberries. Do you remember the story of my wild sunflower (the one with all the branches)?

A single sunflower that we had not planted bloomed the week that Daniel left on his mission. I considered it a gift from God, a comfort to me. A year later, on the anniversary of Daniel’s departure, a single sunflower bloomed in the same place as the year before. The third year, the sunflower had a mishap and was removed. I told Richard that a sunflower in that spot was important to me, and he planted some sunflower seeds in the area so I wouldn’t go without in 2021. But my friends, the wild sunflower, the one that comforted me all those years ago, the one that was removed last year, has come back again this year in its boldest array so far. The other sunflowers delight me, but this wild sunflower bush is special because I believe God makes it blossom just for me, one little missionary mom.

Two more at the table tonight

Today I am setting the table with two extra places for missionaries to have dinner inside our home. They haven’t been allowed inside for dinners until recently. I feel very happy that we can entertain them, and I was so excited, I prepared dinner early. I definitely have a soft spot for missionaries and their message.

I believe we’re here to figure out how to live a life filled with miracles (Alma 37:41) and joy (2 Nephi 2:25). I believe that our journeys of faith are perfectly designed, including the people we meet and the people who teach us. I believe that Jesus Christ helps us live, breathe, find peace, summon faith, find forgiveness, grow, become whole, and come home again. I am thankful for the restored gospel of Jesus Christ, but most of all, I am thankful for Jesus.

Goals

It’s Monday and I have been searching for my goals for the week. Sometimes the goals are obvious and simple and are a natural fit for scheduled events. Sometimes, like this week, I have shallow goals about rearranging furniture that I will keep on the list, but they don’t deserve to be a main focus for the week.

I have three goals that I keep thinking about, but continue to push away. In fact, I haven’t written them down yet because I don’t like them. One is that I know I need to invite this person to walk with me one day this week. Next, I know I need to contact an isolated friend who I have not shown up for in a long time. The last is that I ache to play my violin.

Cue the voices of doubt,

But she will probably not want to walk with me because I am old and I don’t think she likes me.

It’s too late, what can I possibly do to make up for lost opportunities?

I just want comfort this week of high school graduation, not growth.

I will never be able to sustain the practice I need to improve on the violin.

If I say I want to have an open correspondence with God, I need to listen when He speaks to me so I am fluent in His language. Above all, I want to be trusted with His work. Here are some ways that I have come to recognize God’s voice:

  • The instruction is simple. It’s not usually a full step-by-step plan, but a thought or idea with a simple statement such as, “Invite her to go on a walk this week.”
  • The idea persists. I can’t neglect it without knowing I am failing to live my best life.
  • The idea is sometimes accompanied by emotion.
  • The idea is something that will make me happy.

I guess this week is to be about courage and people and growth, not just comfort. I am changing my list. Thanks for helping me sort this out.

♥️,

A

Doll work 6

I have made some progress on the doll I started in February.
This is the back of the head. I line up pins in a row where I want the part to be and wrap yarn around each pin, then and around a stick. The stitches you see on the right are the anchor stitches for all the facial embroidery. When I do the other half of the hair on the back of the head, they won’t show at all. Also, ignore the needle in this picture. I’m just using the head as a pin cushion.
I use upholstery thread to sew each loop of hair down, followed by a tack stitch to keep it in place. (By tack stitch, I mean a small stitch right beside the stitch that I have already made through the loop of yarn. This keeps the thread from coming undone.)
Here is a closeup of the stitch I make through the loop of yarn, just without the pin in the way. I am actually repeating what I have already done for the picture. I don’t normally do two stitches through the loop of yarn.

A friend passed away before I could finish this doll for her. So, I really don’t who needs it, nor do I have a great plan for the hair. It will probably be two ponytails or braids. I placed the hairline back from her face to allow for bangs, but I could always add more long hair in front of I decide against them. My observations about yarn are that woolen yarns seem prettier to me, and the thicker the yarn, the less work to fill the head with hair. I have used all kinds of yarn, thin and thick, acrylic, pure wool, and woolen blends, and I actually have a very pale blue yarn waiting for my next doll.

The thing that takes the most time, at least for me, is the decision making. We’ll see what develops. Somehow, even though this doll represents a missed opportunity and the loss of a friend, she smiles at me, and I know it’s okay that I didn’t finish in time.

To see earlier progress on the doll, here are links to the posts.

Doll work 5

Doll work 4

Doll work 3

Doll work 2

Doll work 1

Happy 12th Birthday to the Blog

Here we are on Easter. There is Richard who spent the day preparing food in his smoker, wearing one of his many blood donation shirts. I rushed into the day without thinking about doing my hair (typical), but tried to set the table beautifully and have a clean kitchen. Mark wears his favorite color and will go on to eat more than anyone sitting at this table. Tim teases us with the BYU shirt and remains mysterious about his plans for the future. I’ll add that he is so strong from his landscaping work. I notice that Daniel is wearing a new version of the teal and white shirt he loved and wore all through high school and his mission. He’s almost finished with his first year at BYU, and his friend, the lovely McKenna joins us at the table. Paige is effortlessly elegant and happy, and has spent the last year since graduating from BYU settling into working as a freelance illustrator. And there is handsome, hardworking, and smart Michael, who changed jobs this year and is enjoying more sleep (even in April… he’s an accountant).

The blog is less about our children than it used to be, but they remain the ones who occupy our thoughts and conversations. They are still the focus of our energy and time, and when they linger at Sunday dinner as they did this week, I can draw from that happiness for a long time.

Some of you have read this blog from the beginning. There are 1,919 posts in the archives. I owe you a diploma or something, not that I have anything figured out except perhaps how to muster a tiny bit of faith. To each reader, whether you have read for years or months, I send my love to you.

Adventure stories

Easter weekend is here. The Sanchez family has been busy getting ready for the memorial for my grandmother. Mixed in with music practice, writing her life sketch, and other things, I have been editing pages of my dad’s memoir of his growing up years playing in the hills. Paige finished the illustrations for the last pages. Our goal was to finish by Easter, and we have done it. His book is a cross between The Hobbit, John Wayne Westerns, and Hardy Boys mystery books.

At times, it has been an escape to work on these stories. We included a map in the book. I think this is one of my favorite illustrations she did. The blog can’t do it justice.

We are celebrating being alive, celebrating those who have passed away, and celebrating the Savior’s Resurrection this weekend in the sunshine.

Not acted upon by fear

In my earliest months of middle school, I struggled a lot. One day, as I sat in the cafeteria waiting for an assembly to start, a woman gently got my attention and told me she noticed that I kept holding my breath. She invited me to breathe.

That experience keeps coming back to me as I notice that I have been holding my breath lately, just as I did as an anxious seventh grader.

Satan wants us to be miserable, and his tactic is to lie.

Anxiety is an investment in lies. It is a focus on things that have not happened, and therefore not grounded in truth.

In contrast, God’s goal for us is joy through a full exercise of agency. When we “act for ourselves” rather than allow ourselves to be “acted upon” by fears or other influences, this is an important step to joy. (2 Nephi 2:18-27)

A favorite line from the movie Mulan is, “There is no courage without fear.” I don’t think I will ever be free from some degree of fear, but I am learning to manage it.

Lately, when I play the violin for people, I try not to focus on myself, but the service I am trying to give. I identify the people who are listening, and direct my efforts to their needs. An outward focus is one key to shaking anxious thoughts and feelings.

Another thing I do to have courage is to act according to my beliefs, not my fears. I want to serve, not cower inside my house in fear of a virus or any other thing. So, I take precautions and try to do things for people.

Most of what we read in the news is designed to peddle fear and division. It is worth the effort to avoid sensational coverage of events that is meant to stir up anxiety.

I read and re-read 1 and 2 Nephi. It is full of honest encounters with fear. Even the very best feel like their trials are more than they can handle sometimes. The difference between those who triumph and fail is not how they feel, it is in how they act. I try to be like Nephi.

Other simple actions that keep fear and anxiety at bay: prayer, playing calming music, staying hydrated and working on getting adequate sleep, coloring books, walking outside, connecting with a friend on the phone, and reading my stash of Reminisce magazines. It is okay to be gentle with ourselves. It is okay to identify the essentials and simply focus on those when we are in a fog. My mom likes to say, “Rest, then keep going.”