Category: Jesus Christ

There is a place for you here.

We tend to find what we seek, especially in the temple. Today, I took spiritual shelter there, and I lingered for a long time. I was seeking rest in the midst of some concerns, and I noticed there was a comfortable chair waiting for me in the celestial room.

If you need some shelter, there is a chair waiting for you at the temple, even in the waiting area or on the grounds. The Spirit feels the same, wherever you are within the gates. Perhaps you could find your own comfortable spot under the shelter of a temple spire. It’s not about the building, though. Just like a grandmother’s house, the feeling stems from the one who lives there.

For thou hast been a strength to the poor, a strength to the needy in his distress, a refuge from the storm, a shadow from the heat, when the blast of the terrible ones is as a storm against the wall.

Isaiah 25:4, KJV

This week’s letter to Timothy

Timothy is currently serving his mission in Palau, and this was my letter to him this week. I think these are words I would like all of my children to have.

Dear Tim,

I have taken President Nelson’s counsel to write down the thoughts that come to my mind when I pray. I had some experiences with personal revelation recently that support patterns that I have experienced throughout my life.

* Answers are never complicated. Simplicity is the language of the Spirit. Simple phrases or basic clarity are common for me.

* Even when I am wrong, God is always encouraging and gentle.

* Peace comes when I submit to what God tells me, even if it isn’t what I wanted to hear. This weekend I second-guessed some revelation about a talk I was giving. When I finally trusted the original impression, my mind became settled and calm.

* Sometimes Heavenly Father helps me step away from the experience and see a wider perspective on an issue. He helps me see that yes, today might be hard, but the difficulty is there for my benefit.

Keep showing love to people and be your charming self, and miracles will happen. There will be miracles that you won’t see because they are taking place in people’s hearts and minds, but they are happening.

Love,

Mom

Tender Mercies in March 2023

These are a few things I wrote down in my journal of God’s tender mercies during the past week.

I was invited to an Alzheimer’s conference last summer to support a friend who was on a panel, and I came home with lots of good information. Another friend was recently diagnosed with the disease, and the notes I gathered last summer allowed me to give her accurate information and a strong list of professional resources. My friend’s physician had given her nothing but a diagnosis, not even a pamphlet. It is a tender mercy that I was prepared to comfort a friend with this information. We read the words together on her couch, and she felt understood, validated in her symptoms, and empowered to move forward. It was a precious experience to see how God orchestrated this moment long before her diagnosis.

During a conversation with Mark after school, he was finishing a snack and telling me about the things he was working on. I caught a glimpse of him as he was thinking at the counter that seemed to magnify who he was and inform me of his goodness. I felt an overwhelming feeling of love, so strong it made tears come to my eyes. I think this was a God moment, an instant where I was given to understand who Mark is and how God feels about him. How I love this young man.

The miracle of health when I need to serve in my calling continues. The headache that plagued me over the weekend disappeared when I needed to teach and make a visit to a Primary.

Know as I am Known

I read about a group of blind patients who received an experimental surgical procedure to have their sight restored. The results were the gift of vision, which you would think would be positive. Yet, the longer a patient had been blind, the less likely they were to be initially happy with the sudden ability to see. Distances, physical features, complexity of patterns, and relative heights were not anything like they imagined before they could see. One patient kept their eyes closed for days, as everything seemed like too much to process. Another was driven to insanity. One begged to have a reversal of the operation so they could experience things the old way once again. Children were much more open to a change in vision and lifestyle. They weren’t as burdened with habits and perceptions that stood in the way of a new life.

This story made me understand that it is a gift not to know all things just yet.

To me, the concept of faith is a gift. We are here to act according to our best and purest beliefs, without absolute knowledge. We get to live freely and fully, and as unencumbered as faith in Jesus Christ can make us.

Another gift is that we arrive gradually at stunning truths and principles that will require a lot from us. We have time to figure things out, and have the luxury to fail and try again. We build our capacity for knowledge as we do simple things day after day, week after week, year after year. Sometimes faith requires us to make a “leap,” but more often, it requires small, routine steps. When my personal faith feels shaky, it is usually because the little faithful acts aren’t being done, or they are being done without humility.

So, what is my reaction when smacked by something from church that doesn’t match my ideas of just or right or true? Can I curb the impulse to form fists, dig in heels, and let indignation grow? Can I summon the faith of a child during times when I need to show humility, not defiance?

I want my journey of faith to be like throwing off the blindfold and walking towards the blinding light of difficulty, and facing the challenges to my own way of thinking. I don’t want to shrink, abandoning the Way for my own path. In forty years of Church membership, I have navigated lots of things that prove that “[Our] thoughts are not [God’s] thoughts.” (Isaiah 55:8)

I chose the path of God’s mercy and grace when I was baptized, and it has been a blessing to live in a covenant relationship with Him. I want to be one who keeps looking at something until I can comprehend it. I know that I “see through a glass darkly,” but I “shall know, as also I am known.” (1 Corinthians 13:12)

Faith leads to knowledge. Knowledge of what? All things. God himself.

67 And if your eye be single to my glory, your whole bodies shall be filled with light, and there shall be no darkness in you; and that body which is filled with light comprehendeth all things.

68 Therefore, sanctify yourselves that your minds become single to God, and the days will come that you shall see him; for he will unveil his face unto you, and it shall be in his own time, and in his own way, and according to his own will.

Doctrine and Covenants 88:67-68

Surprise!

For my Christmas gift, Richard secured a ticket to an Itzhak Perlman concert that was supposed to be tonight. There weren’t two seats available, just one, so he bought the ticket for me. He also insisted on driving me to and from the concert, despite not being able to attend. I filled my pockets with tissues so I could cry as I heard Mr. Perlman play the violin.

But I didn’t meet my violin hero tonight; I met a religious hero instead.

There were a few of us who didn’t get the memo that the concert had been rescheduled, and we congregated at the doors of the music hall in our fine clothes, each showing disbelief in our own way. One of the people was Jean Bingham, former Relief Society General President. Her presence is beautiful and so bright. My interaction with her made me feel that the night wasn’t a loss.

This is my favorite image of Sister Bingham during her presidency. It shows her cheering for missionaries who came home during the early days of 2020. She was a light to me during this confusing time, and I took this screenshot to remember the impact she made on my heart and mind. In many instances, she showed she was a worthy hero during the pandemic.

Thinking is work

So wrapped up in my thoughts, I misread the clock yesterday and made dinner very early. With my extra evening hours, I redecorated the shelves to embrace February, ready or not.

It is ward conference season and I am thinking a lot about my stake speaking assignments and ministering to very different needs among the wards. I am thinking about Paige and Michael’s move, and I am on the hunt for all the places I can display Paige’s art. Thinking is work. Writing talks and lesson plans is work. Planning is work, and so is settling into a new reality. When I accomplish something tangible, like cleaning out a closet or desk, I call it a nice break from the more arduous and intangible work going on within. Thinking is work.

Guam this week

Tim is serving on the southwest side of Guam. There is red clay soil and lots of vegetation, and their P-day hikes are beautiful. He is able to attend the tiny temple on Guam. I think the building pictured here is their ward meetinghouse. He is the trainer for his companion who is from the Philippines. They mostly speak English everywhere they go, but his companion is able to help Tim with his Tagalog. Tim is very thankful to be on an island that has fast food restaurants. I think the one pictured here is Taco Bell. 😄 They are teaching and loving the people and celebrate when their friends show up for church.

Beyond studying Tim’s face, I am focusing on this beautiful scenery. He is a 24-30 hour flight away. I guess you have to be that far away to escape winter.

Chasing sunlight

We had some dreary days this week, again. I chased sunlight by working with gold and yellow thread and spending an afternoon with a friend.

I chased it by reading a novel by Amor Towels, a favorite author.

I chased it by listening to a new piece of classical music every day. (See the book, Year of Wonder by Clemency Burton-Hill.)

I found sunlight as I wrote out a story from my dad’s life.

I found it as I studied about the mission of John the Baptist. (See The Life and Teachings of Jesus Christ From Bethlehem to the Sermon on the Mount, edited by Richard Neitzel Holzapfel and Thomas Wayment.)

This week, rather than put away the Christmas cards, I hung them on an empty wall in my kitchen where they will stay. The faces on the cards feel like sunlight to me.

No resolutions, no word of the year.

I read my planner for pleasure. The cover needs to have a certain feel, and the pages need to accommodate my planning style. This year, I shopped many stores to find just the book. It is my biggest tangible tool for progress. (There are several intangibles, all related to faith practices.) I always have a plan, and often the plan is to do nothing. Still, the New Year invites the concept of resolutions. Should I be making resolutions beyond my intricate system of journals, calendars, planners, targeted goals, and dreams? 😅 I believe resolutions might be for people who are not like me. Don’t mistake me, I have my plan, but I also know how to throw out the plan pretty freely. I write everything in pencil, unless it is a journal of what I have accomplished. This is where I use ink. I recommend this practice.

I work in my paper planner so much, I identify as “a planner.” Being a planner has taught me to be forgiving to myself and to trust the process of small, incremental steps. I don’t feel a lot of personal guilt for things that I can’t accomplish in a day, maybe because I am always looking forward. I definitely have times when I erase goals and move them to a later time slot or cancel them when I fail. Failure is part of the overall plan.

And let’s talk about the word of the year trend among women in my culture. I can see the value, really I can, and I admire the foresight and inspiration that women have about their upcoming year. One word seems inadequate to the many things I lack. Just one? I can think of many. But maybe I am overthinking it…Likely…Absolutely. If cornered with this question, my one word that would inspire me to improve would be Christ. Every single year. But this word is not really playing by the rules.