“And it came to pass that as I was thus racked with torment, while I was harrowed up by the memory of my many sins, behold, I remembered also to have heard my father prophesy unto the people concerning the coming of one Jesus Christ, a Son of God, to atone for the sins of the world. Now, as my mind caught hold upon this thought, I cried within my heart: O Jesus, thou Son of God, have mercy on me, who am in the gall of bitterness, and am encircled about by the everlasting chains of death. And now, behold, when I thought this, I could remember my pains no more; yea, I was harrowed up by the memory of my sins no more. And oh, what joy, and what marvelous light I did behold; yea, my soul was filled with joy as exceeding as was my pain! Yea, I say unto you, my son, that there could be nothing so exquisite and so bitter as were my pains. Yea, and again I say unto you, my son, that on the other hand, there can be nothing so exquisite and sweet as was my joy.”
Alma 36:17-21
One of my favorite lines in the new Young Women theme is, “I cherish the gift of repentance and seek to improve each day.” YES! To repent is to be reintroduced to Jesus Christ. How joyful is that?
Wherefore, cheer up your hearts, and remember that ye are free to act for yourselves—to choose the way of everlasting death or the way of eternal life.”
2 Nephi 10:23
Is it just me, or do you get the idea that Nephi’s brother Jacob in the Book of Mormon was a little depressed? He was definitely a little down on the day he engraved on the plates that they were wanderers, mourning out their days (Jacob 7:26). So, when somebody like Jacob who has felt quite low tells us to cheer up our hearts, I think he knows something of what he speaks. He knows the power of mindset.
Hey, I can cheer up my heart when someone is thoughtless towards me because I have power to choose my reaction. Hooray for agency! And I can cheer up my heart because I can pray silently anywhere, anytime. I am never alone! I can cheer up my heart because the path to eternal life isn’t closed when I mess up. The Savior can help me with every step.
“Wherefore do not spend money for that which is of no worth, nor your labor for that which cannot satisfy. Hearken diligently unto me, and remember the words which I have spoken; and come unto the Holy One of Israel, and feast upon that which perisheth not, neither can be corrupted, and let your soul delight in fatness. Behold, my beloved brethren, remember the words of your God; pray unto him continually by day, and give thanks unto his holy name by night. Let your hearts rejoice.”
2 Nephi 9:51-52
I think this message is about overdoing things, or living in excess. There are bad examples of excess, such as overspending, overwork, or chasing the selfish life.
In contrast, the Lord offers a “feast” so filling, so delightful, and so like Him. He invites us to attend so he can shower us in his excessive love and compassion. We don’t always feel like we are at a feast as we walk away from friends or activities, or choose worship over entertainment, but that fits our Father in Heaven’s personality: I think he likes to surprise us with joy.
What? It’s possible to feel joy at exactly the same time we feel great loss? Incredible! We feel cherished, or carried.
Pow! All it took this time was the sunrise to fill me with a taste of how He feels for me.
Oh, wow, we didn’t expect that visit to the elderly to affect our spirits like that. We don’t want to forget this feeling.
When those moments of joy come, unexpected and generous, I am learning to open my heart and allow the feelings to rush in. I am learning to let my heart rejoice.
So, do we just make good choices and sit around and wait for joy to happen? I don’t think so. Jacob also teaches us that our conversations with God need to happen all day, and gratitude should be part of those conversations. This opens our eyes to all he does for us so we aren’t deceived into thinking that if we just do or buy more things, we will be happy. With prayers of gratitude, we learn that we have everything we need to be happy.
“Make a joyful noise unto the Lord, all the earth: make a loud noise, and rejoice, and sing praise. Sing unto the Lord with the harp; with the harp, and the voice of a psalm. With trumpets and sound of cornet make a joyful noise before the Lord, the King…Let the floods clap their hands: let the hills be joyful together.”
Psalms 98:4-6, 8
I’m pretty sure as we sing in church as this little boy is singing, with eyebrows raised and the words coming from deeper than just our throats, we grow in joy. As I play my violin this season, I give thanks that the Lord has given me a means to express how I really feel, and allow others to experience deep emotion together.
“And it came to pass that we lived after the manner of happiness.”
2 Nephi 5:27
A few years ago, I documented all the family challenges found in the Book of Mormon. Children rebel, parents are imperfect, grandchildren leave the faith, people need to fix their marriage relationships, fathers are killed, and courageous parents write their family challenges for our benefit. Lehi’s family gets the closest study, and the division and violence are heartbreaking.
Elder Holland taught,
The first 30 years of Book of Mormon history do not present a pleasant story. After the abrupt necessity of abandoning their entire earthly fortune, leaving Jerusalem hastily on the eve of international conflict, crossing the Arabian peninsula in the most adverse of circumstances, building a boat without any prior experience in doing so, crossing an ocean with would-be fatal conflicts breaking out repeatedly and landing in a primitive, unknown new land with all the hardship such a settlement would entail, the hostility within the family of Lehi and Sariah became so intense that the two halves of their family split asunder, with one group fleeing yet farther into the wilderness, fearing for their lives lest they fall victim to the bloodthirsty quest of the other. As they plunged into unsettled terrain to seek safety and fashion a life for themselves as best they could, the prophet-leader of this Nephite half of the family says they now tried to live “after the manner of happiness.”
In light of what they had just been through for thirty years and with what we know yet lay in store for them in the trials almost constantly ahead, such a comment seems almost painful. How could any of this be described as anything remotely like “happiness”? Ah, my friends, there is the rub. Nephi does not say they were happy, though it is evident they actually were. What he says is, they “lived after the manner of happiness.”
In other words, there is a pattern for happy living that we can choose to follow, even when circumstances are rough.
For me, “living after the manner of happiness” includes nurturing family relationships. My dream is that no one will ever again recount how bossy I was when I was younger and see that I am a lot more gentle than I used to be. In another relationship, I would be happier if my ideas weren’t mocked. I’m sure my family members have similar wishes: to be known, to shed old labels that no longer apply, to be accepted, to be cherished. A family counselor taught that we will be happier if we assume “benevolent intent” in our loved ones. I will do it for you. Will you do it for me?
Perhaps if was convenient to hate Nephi when he was young, as he was direct about what he saw his brothers doing wrong. The blame lies mostly with his brothers for the contention, but I see Nephi change his tone over the years. By the end of his life, Nephi stopped naming specific faults and called out to his family in love in his writing. To his beloved brethren who rejected him, he carefully explained the doctrine of Christ, which is simply that we need not stay as we were. Christ can help us change. Nephi teaches me that joy comes in the subtle shift over time from judgment to charity, especially in our families.
Wherefore, lift up thy heart and rejoice, and cleave unto the covenants which thou hast made.
Doctrine and Covenants 25:13
Latter-day Saint temples have high ceilings, beautiful windows, and brilliant chandeliers. Sometimes I attend the temple by myself so I can focus on my essential identity as a daughter of God. I sit in the Celestial room and look up, up, up and feel the Father of Lights reflected in myself. I think one reason we are asked to cleave unto covenants is to maintain our individual, unique, and ancient relationship with our Father in Heaven. As I try to do this, He blesses me with joy and help of every kind.
Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us. Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.
Hebrews 12:1-2
Sometimes it’s the hope of joy that makes us do more than we thought we could.
What will you and I be able to endure as we focus on the joy that is “set before” us? What repenting will be possible? What weakness will become a strength? What chastening will become a blessing? What disappointments, even tragedies, will turn to our good? And what challenging service to the Lord will we be able to give?
“Joy and Spiritual Surival,”President Russell M. Nelson, Ensign, Nov. 2016
I prepared an advent calendar of scripture passages about joy for my friends this Christmas. I will share a few things each day leading up to Christmas to explain why I chose each scripture.
Make me to hear joy and gladness; that the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice. Hide thy face from my sins, and blot out all mine iniquities. Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me. Restore me unto the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit…The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.
Psalms 51:8-12, 17
This scripture challenges the way I have thought about joy during a lot of my life. It is linked to a broken and contrite heart. It is a gift from God, not something we can summon through our own powers; it is something we seek from God. He is the source, the way, and the memory of joy. Truly, we are “restored” to joy, the state in which we lived with God before we were born.
Things we ask of God in order to feel joy:
“Make me to hear joy and gladness”
“Hide thy face from my sins”
“Blot out all mine iniquities”
“Cast me not away from thy presence”
“Create in me a clean heart”
“Renew a right spirit within me”
“Take not thy holy spirit from me.”
“Restore unto me the joy of salvation”
“Uphold me with thy free spirit”
Things required in the process of seeking joy:
Ask God for the above things
“The Sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart.”
The Savior acts in our behalf, continually and faithfully. His work of creation continues in our hearts and in the renewal of “right spirit.” I love the phrase, “Uphold me with thy free spirit.” To me, this means two things, 1. He chooses to help us, and 2. Our Savior’s mastery of agency qualifies him to uphold us as we stumble along to achieve self mastery.
Two things that don’t fit in either category, but are important:
“The bones which thou hast broken may rejoice”
“O, God, thou wilt not despise”
Sometimes he allows us to become broken. This is not evidence of his neglect, but a tutoring in our dependence on God. Also, he will not despise us in our brokenness. Illness, sin, and discomfort can drive people away because these things are not pretty. The Lord does not despise the ugly tears, the pain of being driven to humility, and the stench of sins we are trying to blot out. He will not despise us in our moments of pain. He comes and makes our broken bones rejoice. He has done this for me.
Some words that have influenced my thinking in the last few weeks from Elder Jeffrey R. Holland’s talk, “Living After the Manner of Happiness”:
The Prophet Joseph Smith once said that “Happiness is the object and design of our existence; and will be the end thereof, if we pursue the path that leads to it.”
Remember the Prophet Joseph’s choice of language: He spoke of the path that leads to happiness as the key to realizing that goal.
We know one thing for sure; happiness is not easy to find running straight for it. It is usually too elusive, too ephemeral, too subtle. If you haven’t learned it already, you will learn in the years ahead that happiness comes to us when we least expect it, when we are busy doing something else. Happiness is almost always a by-product of some other endeavor.
But my reassurance to you today is that in God’s plan we can do very much to find the happiness we do desire. We can take certain steps, we can form certain habits, we can do certain things that God and history tell us lead to happiness…
In short your best chance for being happy is to do the things that happy people do. Live the way happy people live. Walk the path that happy people walk. and your chances to find joy in unexpected moments, to find peace in unexpected places, to find the help of angels when you didn’t even know they knew you existed, improves exponentially.
How can we know the way? Jesus gave the answer that rings from eternity to all eternity, “I am the way, the truth, and the life…”
Learn as quickly as you can that so much of your happiness is in your hands, not in events or circumstances or fortune or misfortune. [President Abraham Lincoln said,] “folks are usually about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Happiness comes first by what comes into your head a long time before it comes into your hand.
“The Lord requireth the heart and a willing mind,” the revelations say. Too often we have thought it was all up to the heart; it is not. God expects a willing mind in the quest for happiness and peace as well. Put your head into this. All of this takes effort. It is a battle but a battle for happiness that is worth waging.
Kindness and pleasantness and faith-based optimism are characteristics of happy people. From the words of Mother Teresa “Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God’s kindness: kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile.”
Avoid animosity, contention, and anger in your life.
Work at it. Learn to work. Serve diligently. Don’t be idle and mischievous.
I encourage you and applaud you in “pursuing the path that leads to [happiness.] Christ is “the way, the truth, and the life” –that no one comes to true happiness except by Him. I bless you to know that someday, sometimes, somewhere you will have every righteous desire of your heart as you live the gospel of Jesus Christ, thus living “after the manner” that leads to those blessings.
Today I made a big mistake. I didn’t set out to do it, but as I spoke to someone, my error became so clear that it made my hands shake. I have apologized and will learn from the experience.
I have power in Christ to dispel the shadow cast by a few terrible minutes. I choose to call today powerful in its teaching. I choose to forgive myself. I choose progress over pain. I choose to accept what Christ’s Atonement offers: the ability to move forward. With faith, I will find my smile again.
