Category: Home

With a Smile

I think when I look back on this time in my life, I will be thankful that I was present when Tim came home from Frisbee practice, muddy and smiling. I will not regret being home and available to video chat with Daniel for the first time since Christmas. I will smile when I think of the jokes I made with Mark about the DWISBA as I drove him home from school. I will remember the texture of each boy’s hair in my fingers as I gave haircuts and the smell of starch while ironing shirts. I will smile at the memory of the beautiful home I worked to create. I will remember the souls I loved and the ones who loved me. I will remember that this was a sweet time. Sometimes I feel weary, unwanted, and stagnant, too, but that will not be the melody when I look back at this time with the perspective of age. I can see myself looking back with a smile. These little moments make me smile today.

To the person who

…drives the band in the school bus to and from state basketball tournament games safely…

…sees me and talks to me while checking my groceries…

…gives my sons rides home from church activities…

…stays up a little later to make a lesson plan a little more engaging…

…donates money so our daughter can have scholarships and art grants…

…feeds our missionary son and asks for the recipe of his favorite dessert, even though it is in a different language and has different standard measurements…

…takes time to visit the school to speak encouragement and tell fun stories to my middle schooler…

…reads my self centered words…

…takes time to write to me…

…remembers important days and acknowledges them…

…shares talents…

…RSVP’s to a party invitation even when I don’t ask for it…

…shares a real life experience with me, not a contrived version she thinks would be more palatable…

…inspires me to seek deeper meanings in my study of scripture…

…inspires me to be myself…

…notices when we are missing…

…sees that we are trying…

…asks good questions and listens to the answers…

…doesn’t try to define us as just one thing…

…delivers mail in the snow…

…takes away our trash every week…

…selected our piano for their showroom so we could find it in Tucson…

…planted the trees in the yard…

…selected our white kitchen cabinets…

…wrote the book I finished today…

…shared the Book of Mormon with my family/ancestors…

I feel gratitude for you and many, many more.

German Lentil Soup

Every year on Richard’s birthday week, I make this soup because he loves it.

1 ½ c lentils

5 c cold water

4 slices bacon

1/4 c chopped onion

1 green pepper, chopped

1 carrot, chopped

1, 15-oz can diced tomatoes

3 T butter

3 T flour

2 beef bouillon cubes (dissolved in 1 c water)

2 tsp salt

2 T white vinegar

Cook time: almost 2 hours

Rinse lentils and remove debris that may be in the package. In a large kettle, bring lentils and water to a boil. Reduce heat, cover and simmer for 1 hour. Meanwhile, cut bacon in small pieces and sauté in large skillet until crisp. Remove crisp bacon and set aside. To the bacon grease in the skillet, add onion, carrot, pepper, and tomato and sauté over low heat for 5 minutes. Add the vegetables to the lentils in the large kettle. In same skillet, melt butter. Stir in flour until smooth and gradually stir in bouillon and water. Add salt and vinegar and bring to a boil, stirring constantly for about a minute. Add to lentils and simmer, stirring occasionally for about 30 minutes. Add the crisp bacon in the last few minutes of cooking. Serves 6 to 8.

Organization

I have a sous chef in the house who likes to get creative with the spices. Lately, I have not been able to find anything in the cupboard because someone else has been using it. It was time to get organized.

I can find everything easily now, and Mark’s go-to spices have their own container. Why does this thrill me so much?

I did it to the medicine cabinet, too.

These are from Target. They are clear so you can see everything in them, they are as deep as my cabinets, and pull out easily. I bought every one from two Targets. I also bought some other sizes and they were a highlight from my week until I learned that missionaries can call home every week now.

Snowflake Plates

I inherited many beautiful plates from my grandmother, and this unlocked the allure of seasonal decorative plates. I have added to her collection a few times over the years. I bought these with my Christmas money. I think they look like snowflakes. Their variety and beauty make me smile.

Morning light

This is my favorite time of the morning, when the sun moves beyond the mountain’s shadow, usually an hour after the valley sees the sun.

I take pictures of the house because I am thankful for it. We look at magazines or Instagram for inspiration for beautiful spaces, but they are usually photographs of rooms without people. Why does this please us? Rebecca Solnit wrote about this, and came to the conclusion that we dream of possibilities when we see a clean, clear room. But what about when the empty room also reminds us of times lost? I have a beautiful, empty kitchen and I wonder how I came to this so quickly, when life was so full before. There were four children with very different needs and interests to keep up with. Homeschool filled my life. There were projects at the kitchen table, art supplies everywhere, books on every surface, and piano music throughout the day. We sang together and we went places. Now it is just the crumbs of connection after long days of school and homework. I am not saying I believe we can or should go back to what we had. It’s just that today, I ache for what was. We have entered a bristly phase at home, and lately I can’t say the right thing. Stillness will be my lot for a while, whether I am alone or not. But the home is beautiful and comfortable for us when we can be together. We have conformed. We have conformed to much. We have also grown and achieved more than these walls can contain. An empty kitchen is just one evidence of the progress of our children to independence. I will learn to bear it.

The Week at a Glance

Lexi Walker was incredible in this show!
Relief Society. I am in the bottom left, listening to Maren explain that just because a room is organized doesn’t mean it will always be clean…unless one keeps it clean. (Mind. blown.) (Mudroom, I am talking about you.)
Tim begins another dance odyssey. This is a frisbee on which the paper is mounted. So cute.
This makes me 20 kinds of angry.
I found a really good deal on a really nice smoker. Richard has wanted one for about 8 years. So we bought it.
Emphasis on the idea that Angie Found a Good Deal. Originally $1000
New faucets going in.
It’s a mess before it’s beautiful.

As I See It

In 2018, I learned it was God holding up my children. Not me.

I learned that I do not like philosophical email exchanges. I prefer less theory and more practical planning.

My skin is failing me.

My children have all surpassed me in musical ability.

I learned that I am good at knowing what people need.

I learned that the things I wished for when I was young are still what I wish for now: a simple house, quiet evenings, and books. Oh, and dolls.

I appreciate cheerful, fun-loving sidekicks.

I learned to not define myself by what I do. I am more than all of that.

I learned that my patriarchal blessing has a whole paragraph devoted to what I am going through right now. I always wondered why that paragraph was there. Now I know.

I have caused hurt.

I am full of power to act.

It is easy for me to find something to be grateful for each day.

I learned a little more that Christ is always the answer.

In 2019 I want to know what to say. I want to go ice skating. I want to conquer some fear. I want to be better at diverting a couple of people from negativity. I want to savor every day with my children while they still live with me. I want to be clear with others of what I know. I need God’s grace to make me meek, open, and unencumbered. 2019, we have our work cut out for us.