A few nights ago I stayed up late working on a Christmas gift and felt the stillness and peace that is familiar to me at this time of year. There can be a big to-do about the worldliness of Christmas gift giving, but I find that giving gifts and making gifts (sometimes late into the night) is the best way for me to celebrate the generosity of the Savior. Spending late nights working on projects gives me some quiet time to distance myself from the busy days and to think about people I love. This is why I like to make gifts.
I have a dream of being able to make fabric dolls with sweet embroidered faces. I have poured over books to learn techniques and styles but I haven’t made an attempt to sew one yet.
Many years ago I had a friend whose close family member was dying of cancer. I watched her pain and anger and deep sadness with empty thoughts. I had nothing I could offer in wisdom and empathy. My sympathy sounded tinny when I tried to voice it. She avoided company and conversation, so words were not really an option anyway. I went to a local boutique and found a handmade doll and left it at her home. Years later I received a note from her about the doll.
I have to tell you your kindness to me when my [family member] died was the most amazing gift you could give me. I’ve spoken on grief a couple of times here – go figure!! – and I always bring the doll you brought me as an example of a wordless expression of love when there were NO words that would have made me feel better.
I experienced a lot of pain and had three major surgeries in my early twenties. One time my mom brought me a handmade doll to hold in the hospital. It was the perfect gift when I was separated from my children and had empty arms.
The other day I found some pre-made doll bodies at the craft store and I bought one. I figure that this will be a good entry-level project. It just needs some embroidery, hair, and clothes. This will be the year that I begin to make dolls. I won’t accomplish it before Christmas, but I hope to be a doll maker by next Christmas.
I’ve noticed that children don’t appreciate a handmade doll as much as grown-ups do. I won’t be the weird aunt who gives unwanted, imperfect handmade dolls to her nieces. My dolls will be for people full of cares and worries and pain.
I have a tender list of people who I think could use a doll to hold right now. Did your heart just leap because you know that you are one of them? Perhaps I don’t know what you are going through, but I hope you have a better day today.