Category: Family Time

Transparency

Our lifestyle keeps me honest. My children and I are are together most of the time and I know them and they know me. They went with me last week to deliver cookies to the women I should have visited with a spiritual message from church. I’m a terrible visiting teacher. And unfortunately, my kids know it.

The boys and I gathered happily in the van after dark with cookies wrapped in bows. Mark said he thought it felt like Thanksgiving. I think he meant Christmas. We grew more cheery with the anticipation of leaving cookies with someone. One boy asked if we could just leave them on the door and run. As tempting as this was to me (the absent visiting teacher), I said we needed to visit.

Our first stop was a dark house. I pulled out my flashlight and we walked to the door. Hmmm… no curtains in the windows… no furniture in the house… I had no idea this woman had moved. We walked away disappointed and I felt true shame.

The next house was also dark, but I knew this woman had not moved. She was probably out of town (as she often is).

No cookies were delivered that night and our spirits were low. We drove through the darkness towards Paige’s ballet studio and I told them the importance of being a visiting teacher or a home teacher and that I needed to be better. I told them about being a Relief Society president and trying to find women who had stopped coming to church. This is a hard job, so it’s up to the visiting teachers to help watch for and care for the women of the church.

Daniel began talking about preparing for a mission. I asked him what he thought he needed to do to prepare. He listed several things like scripture study, exercise, becoming an Eagle Scout, and learning about priesthood responsibilities. He expressed a  desire to be better at studying the scriptures, beyond  just reading them. He’s in the middle of trying to read the Old Testament cover to cover. I shared what I am trying to do to make my own scripture study better. I knew this conversation was important and it probably wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t taken my sons visiting teaching with me.

This morning, I found my son with notebook in hand, studying the Book of Mormon intently.

I need to make some visiting teaching appointments… today.

Birthday Boy

If you could carry a piano with you like Charlie Brown’s friend, Schroeder, you would.

We’re glad that you are a reader and that you like to talk. Conversations with you are very interesting.

It’s good that you’re always working on a project and making plans for improvements in your buildings.

Your robots, stop-motion animation movies, ships, castles, space stations, bridges, catapults, enormous holes in the dirt, collections, ready and accurate facts, and great laugh are some of the great things we enjoy because you’re in our family. You’re a great athlete. We’ve seen some amazing pitches and hits from you this year in baseball.

You’re a great son, younger brother, big brother, and friend.

Happy 11th birthday, Daniel!

Peachy

There are some enormous pungent peaches on my dining room table. Their autumny smell shoots through my senses and clings to happy memories in my brain. And have you tried chocolate milk and fresh raspberries? That is a nice treat.

We’re almost finished with the first term of school. We enjoy a one-week break in autumn, winter, and spring. I’m going over ideas for autumn break activities. October is the perfect time to be outside. We have an amazing outdoor air and space museum, mountains, and some beautiful missions nearby. I’m thinking that a nice walk near Tumacacori or Tubac sounds good. Maybe we’ll take our sketch books and sit at the Sonoran Desert Museum for a day.

My doctor’s office recorded my age as 35 this week. Is it a sign of senility that hearing my age was confusing/surprising to me? I really wasn’t sure that it was true. But I guess it is. In fact, I’m almost 36.

Daniel’s birthday is next week. He has a new friend and this makes me happy.

What am I looking at in this picture?

A Desert Tortoise.

Summer Holds On

Just look at those long legs! Summer seems to make them grow.

We have 350 days of sun each year. I think of summer like I used to think of winter in Utah. It’s 5 months of having to stay inside. The mornings feel a little cooler, so this gives me hope that we’ll be down in the 80’s soon.

Last night I sat outside and looked at stars. We have a long covered patio and a view to the south. I looked at Sagittarius and Scorpio. Antares is fascinating for me with its changing color and brilliance.

I sent Paige to Youth Conference all weekend. I sent Richard on a temple trip by himself on Saturday since we had no babysitter. I cleaned the cars and became drenched in sweat and went shopping for Legos to pass the time with the boys.

Richard gave a talk at the temple at the Stake Temple Day chapel session. He talked about the Ross and Spencer ancestors who attended the temple in Nauvoo during those last days the Mormons were in Nauvoo. He talked about temple blessings extending through generations. These were sweet and humbling thoughts.

I decided that I’m going to keep looking at the stars each night and enjoy that cooling September air. It will give me hope for some milder Autumn days ahead.

Comfort food and lighting

Tonight I made croissants with ham and cream cheese for dinner. The smell of warm bread emanated from the oven to greet my boys as they came home from the pool.

I am home with Mark watching The Aristocats. Mark is a mouse. I am a mama cat. The rest of the family has activities away from the house.

On evenings when I am home sans everyone I turn off all of the overhead lights and enjoy lamplight. If it’s late, I’ll turn on a string of white lights in a tree in my bedroom. It’s deliciously dim in the house and soon the old laptop with its accompanying glare will be set aside, too.

Hoping your weekend is relaxing and refreshing,

-A

Going with them

“Of all the help we can give these young people, the greatest will be to let them feel our confidence that they are on the path home to God and that they can make it. And we do that by going with them.”

-President Henry B. Eyring, First Counselor in the First Presidency

I was studying this morning and found this quote really sang true in my heart. I am finding that the more I involve myself in what my children are doing, the more I am able to encourage them. It’s not about making their choices for them or doing their work for them. It’s about working alongside them. How do I do this?

I read the books they are studying.

I read to them.

I go on Cub Scout hikes and service projects.

I know which Personal Progress goal Paige is working on and I’m working on the same goal.

We make dinner together.

Sometimes the introspective loner in me takes over and I don’t feel like engaging in conversation, even though I am interested. It takes effort for me to dig deeply into my children’s thoughts by asking questions, but I see its value and I’m working to be better.

I learned when they were very young that you don’t ask children to clean a really messy room by themselves. You work alongside them and guide them. They don’t feel abandoned and overwhelmed and we each grow in love and appreciation for one another.

If you want children to do a job well, you have to teach it over and over and model it. You have to have expectations, but be forgiving and gentle as you correct them.

I try not to teach distractedly and I’m really winnowing down my computer use. It’s mostly a superfluous escape. But I’ll keep writing so my family far away knows that I am thinking of them and wanting them to be a part of our lives.

Room Makeover

Paige awoke to a curtain of flowers hanging in her doorway.

We announced that it was bedroom makeover day and we were there to help.

Do you see a surprise under this gift bag?

Mark and some new baskets and picture frames emerged from the wrapping.

Mark, we told her, was in charge of all jobs involving a screwdriver.

Timothy was the hammer and nail man, ready to help with any picture hanging.

Daniel was the carpenter. He built her new shelves all by himself.

He also took photos of bedding, lamps, frames, and throw pillows at Target so she could make her selections from home.

(The Target website was not good enough for these room makeover specialists.)

Richard was sick, but pulled himself out of bed to hang her new mirror.

Her room is calming and peaceful and coordinated. It is decorated with her original artwork. The painting above her bed is the Mesa Temple.

I like her new chandelier lamp. I also love her iris painting and baby Picasso.

Later that night we went out to Olive Garden dinner. It was a good day.

Brush Strokes

Living in the desert makes me see why so many Southwest artists don’t focus on details. Their art is about color applied in broad brush strokes. We admired these warm colors today as we took our drive. Some other drivers got angry at me for driving so slowly. Silly people. Didn’t they know there was a view?

Let me tell you about Thursdays. The Ross kids think everything is more difficult on Thursdays. A few years ago I started a tradition of taking the kids out to lunch and on a drive on those dreaded days.

Today we went out to lunch (McDonalds) and drove behind the mines by our house because we had never been there before. Somehow it made all the difference.