Fish Creek 2019
Category: Family Time
Cousin time
Ship, turtle, dragon,
Tucson temple, crayon,
“A”, church, and a saguaro.
A simple, effective activity for Come Follow Me
Last week I prepared an activity using a map of Jerusalem with the final events of Christ’s life. We followed the numbers and looked up scriptures from the Old Testament that prophesied of these events or used language echoed by Gospel writers. “Did not our hearts burn by the way, and while he opened to us the scriptures?” (Luke 24:32) The Savior had to re-frame the events his disciples witnessed that last week so they could see him as the Christ. I don’t know what scriptures he shared with them, but perhaps Psalm 22 and Isaiah 53 were among them. Those two chapters rend my heart.
The scriptures we looked up last night according to the numbers on the map:
- Zechariah 9:9
- Leviticus 14:36
- (skipped)
- Isaiah 53:4, 6, 10-11
- Isaiah 53:7
- Psalm 22:6-8
- Psalm 22:16-18, Psalm 22:1, Psalm 31:5
- Isaiah 53:9
This was one of my favorite activities all year. Simple is still best, and with busy lives, it helps to have a very direct activity instead of a deep discussion sometimes.
In and Out of Shadow
The relief map of our life right now shows new valleys, a consistent plateau, and several mountains. I move into different landscapes as I am needed and retreat to the backcountry when I must be silent and wait. In my solitude, I assume the role of observer and record keeper.
From a familiar point, I watch our daughter, taking steps on her own path, which is marked by shadow and speckled with obstacles. Frustrated by the turns and boulders, I wonder if she knows that she is still ascending.
A son careens forward on a path without looking one way or the other. Does he actually want to climb that trail? I am not sure he has paused enough to know.
Another son has a blind curve ahead, but has a lift in his steps. I predict the path beyond this curve will be good for him because of his optimism.
And the remaining son, well, I am still close enough to remind him to look at the vistas, and not worry about the details so much.
I am no sage on the hill, but I do know about blind corners, and have skinned my knees when racing too fast. I know the mire of worry from overthinking, and how to escape. I remember what it is like to move beyond easy marks of success, deferring talents and ideas. In such vulnerable times, growth feels a lot like defeat.
I squirm in the solitude in this life season and wonder if a record is worth keeping. I felt inspired to read A Midwife’s Tale this week and it validated my writing of everyday things more than I can say. Our walk continues, and my writing provides a relief map of where we have been.
Headlines of Consequence
Connection and progress happen in the undercurrents of the to do lists and during transit between appointments. The on stage, public displays are a pinnacle, not the mountain we have climbed. They don’t call attention to themselves, but tiny, daily actions are life. Today I elevate some of these menial and plain things and dress them up as headlines:
Late night conversation keeps parenting goals on track.
Work at home issues forth connection and order.
Meal preparation: a rock in the fortress of home, every day
She waited weeks for a convenient time to ask family to move furniture.
A child is struggling? Pray with him.
Camping gear is well traveled.
Mother makes another trip to the store for gear and marshmallows.
Reconciliation evident in non-verbal ways
He often works from home at night to balance high demands of employer and others.
To avoid criticizing someone, mother pulls weeds outside.
Foregoing personal hobbies and family time, Scoutmaster pushes on.
Despite past failures, additional attempts are planned for family spirituality.
Dead, maggot-filled animal buried early this morning in the backyard
Stranded motorist helped by a kind stranger
She kept paper for taking notes.
Entire family commits to watching together a movie only one person will enjoy.
They sat down together at the table.
They took the time they needed to make a plan.
He changed the station again and again without hearing frustration from the driver.
Strength to do dishes and laundry is a blessing.
After years of being too busy, mother helps organize son’s collections.
He remembered to text his mom to let her know where he was.
She smiled instead of criticized.
He practiced each day.
He let his brother stick an earbud in his ear to hear a funny song.
They kept praying together.
Thirteen
I asked the family if anyone remembered their 13th birthday. Mark said right away, “I do,” since it was the day before. Paige told me that she remembered her thirteenth birthday because she got braces and her hair cut that week. I remember being angry about being teased. Tim remembers going to a Star Wars premier at midnight.
I like to read old posts of how things used to be, so here’s one for the time capsule.
At age 13, Mark is interested in reading, Legos, Scouting, the Anthem PS4 game, and a Netflix show about mind games. Salted caramel anything? Yes, please. Dark chocolate is pulling out in front of milk chocolate. His birthday cake of choice is Violet Sanchez’s glazed lemon cake. Milky Way candy bars, chili cheese Fritos, and store brand cherry toaster pastries traveled down the conveyor belt at the grocery store this week in his honor. He likes to peruse the spice aisle and try new flavors. Favorite dinners usually include beef: meatballs, meatloaf, pot roast, hamburgers, and steak. He also loves smoked chicken and is a barbecue sauce connoisseur. He reads my cooking magazines and likes to make Aebleskivers.
He is fastidious in his hygiene, disciplined in his obedience, and keeps a cluttered space for his building projects. He collects movie ticket stubs, smashed pennies, baseball keychains, Archie comic books, and mementos from times with his cousins. He can read a book in an afternoon and we make a lot of library trips. He listens to the radio in his room, and he likes the music of AJR, preferring the radio edited versions of their songs. George Ezra? Yes. Collin Raye?(in Mom’s car) Nooooooo!
Language Arts and Math are his least favorite subjects this year. I think it has more to do with the teachers than the subjects. He loves science, history, band, and Raisels sour raisins for which he makes trades during lunch time at school.
He’s accomplished and smart, but I am most proud of the person he is becoming. His self discipline in piano practice and scripture study are uncommon in someone his age. He asks me how my day is going and still pats me on the back reassuringly and randomly. He is making changes in screen time habits for the better. His Primary president, Barbara Bartee wished him a happy birthday and delivered a handmade gift, even though he has been out of Primary for a year. He spent his birthday morning cleaning the kitchen at the family cabin, deep in conversation with his cousin, Kaitlyn. He ordered a caramel shake, a scone, a barbecue burger, and onion rings for lunch at the Hi Mountain Drugstore in Kamas for his birthday lunch. He picked out an orange Technic car from the Lego store to build, and we watched the Lego Movie 2 in the evening. Daniel made a video call to wish him a happy birthday from Chile. They spent most of the conversation talking about Lego engineering.
This is long, but I know from experience what little details will mean in the future.
Mark, you are loved and needed. You are smart and kind. You make great food and I like how you ask me questions about what I think. I like how you style the front of your hair standing straight up and keep the rest short. I like your laugh. It has a deeper pitch than last year, but keeps its essential rhythm, a long series of chuckles followed by a sharp intake of breath. Your features are more angular than last year, and you are inches taller than I am. You don’t read the blog, but someday perhaps you will see this and smile. I love you.
Prom, Primary, Diamond Fork, Big Bad Mama, Anniversary
I made some new friends this week, three women I did not know before, but felt inspired to choose to serve with me at church. I spent time with each of them, one by one, talking about important things like families, dreams, and testimony and felt my heart warm. I’m not surprised that I love them. I’m surprised how quickly it happened.
I worried and prayed for a sister-in-law.
I enjoyed a date night with Richard for our anniversary, which included two restaurants and lots of roses. Then, lucky us, we had another evening together later in the week, each of us dressed in Scout uniforms, matchy-matchy. I thought I was through with my uniform, but I am delighted at some good memories that came when I put it back on.
I watched Timothy play in an ultimate Frisbee tournament and helped him with Prom preparations. I had a lot of time with Tim this week, and I am so grateful for that.
I disabled the family computer last week, which was mainly being used to watch YouTube videos. When the kids were little, there were times I would chant, “I’m a big bad mama and I’m not afraid of you,” (I know, I am ridiculous) aloud or in my mind when I had to do the hard things that young parents have to do: enforce bedtime, deny requests for sugar, insist on car seats, clean up messes, and react in a positive way to tantrums. Not even that mental chant helped boost my morale over the computer drama. The reality is, a teen tantrum is much more painful to endure than one from a three-year-old.
Richard came home with the best pictures of a Scout campout in Diamond Fork. He brought his smokeless fire pit and Chip brought his guitar, and the boys and leaders sang around the campfire and roasted marshmallows and biscuits as it got dark. Mark came home from the camp, hugged me, and asked what he could eat. Balance is restored.
Easter Weekend
Little things this week
Canyonlands, Needles District
In the shadow of sandstone formations, I watched the boys scale almost every surface they could. In the silence of the land, I walked a little with God and told him things I really want to do and felt his blessing. In the light of the temple, I saw more clearly who my sons are, and who they are becoming.
A neighbor observed that the views we seek most often are valleys, not mountains. I think we love the view of a valley because it reminds us how far we have come. We are ascending, after all.
