Richard, Mark, and I sat down together and made a list of the things we wanted to do this month under the categories of service, fun, and films. Then we plugged everything into the calendar. We should probably do this every month, but we only think to do it at Christmas time. Now we have a plan, and there is so much to look forward to!
There won’t be time to cross stitch until after Christmas, but I am glad for the hours these “miniature masterpieces” have provided to reset my mind during a very busy year.
“It must needs be that we should be led with one accord to the land of promise.”
1 Nephi 10:13
I never considered this line from Lehi until today. He has seen a lot of disunity in his family on their wilderness journey, and chooses to emphasize the need to act with one accord.
“With one accord = all together”
Why?
Lehi sees his family as being important in the overall plan of our Heavenly Father for his children. He is looking for unity stemming from a common faith.
Maybe we should think of our families like Lehi thinks about his family. Hey, our family is important to God! Together we can help each other and the world, beyond anything you can imagine. First things first: we need to understand Jesus.
“Wherefore, all mankind were in a lost and fallen state, and ever would be save they should rely on this Redeemer.”
1 Nephi 10:6
In what ways can a family be led with one accord?
In resolve to keep covenants.
In thanksgiving
In love
In work
In testimony
In support
In faith
In humor
In working for peace
What has helped my family to live with one accord?
worship
good traditions
communication
routines
goals
recreation
acts of love
Never have weaccomplished or needed to do all of these things well at the same time.
I note the first word in the phrase, “Led with one accord.” Our success doesn’t come down to how well we did all the things, and you know the long list of all the things. This is, above all, a journey in grace, God’s help, God’s path, and God’s love. Sometimes our self-imposed lists can be the biggest barrier to the grace that would lead us along. Being led by the Lord means being true to Him through keeping covenants.
We are here to learn how to allow ourselves to be led, together. That looks different, day by day, week by week, year after year. For us, it once looked like prayer and job charts, singing Primary songs, and even shouting “Bam!” when we heard an important word in the scriptures. Now, it looks like intentional mealtime conversations, different ways to study scriptures, and more fun time together. Being “led with one accord” is simply to allow the Good Shepherd to lead your family along.
It works to just ask in prayer, “What should I do today to help my family?” An idea or thought, phrase, or call to action will come. It will definitely be a simple instruction, manageable and meaningful.
“Verily, verily, I say unto you, ye are little children, and he have not as yet understood the great blessings the Father hath in his own hands and prepared for you.
“And ye cannot bear all things now; nevertheless, be of good cheer, for I will lead you along. The kingdom is yours and the blessings thereof are yours, and the riches of eternity are yours.”
Today is preparation day for Tim, the day he will need to do his laundry, pick up a new suit and dry cleaning, and get his car back on the ground so we can drive it during his mission. He sold all his vehicles but this one. This one holds so much of his time and labor, I don’t blame him for not wanting to get rid of it.
I cleared away all the autumn stuff yesterday and Mark and I put up all of our Nativities and two trees. Tonight we decorate gingerbread houses to celebrate an early birthday for Tim.
We have tried to be quiet for MTC classes and I never know how long Tim will have for dinner, but I feel pretty good about our family’s role in helping Elder Ross on the first leg of his mission. We haven’t been super spiritual, we have just tried to be helpful and available. Routines have definitely been rocked during the past few weeks, and I am giving myself a measure of grace for not being a monument to family gospel study. With so many unknowns and a rotating schedule, we have scraped through with prayer and a few verses of scripture. We made a gratitude display with scriptures and things we are thankful for. When the kids were younger, we definitely did more than this. I think on this a lot, and haven’t arrived at a strong conclusion about why, or how we can fix things. One truth is that our teens don’t want to engage in conversation with the whole family. It is more of a one-on-one phenomenon when it happens. There is no magic solution to every problem once a home becomes a “missionary training center.” Another truth is that our home has been an MTC all their lives, whether we realize it or not. The piano practice, gospel study, togetherness, and learning to work and serve, it is all there.
I was inspired by someone who keeps a gratitude journal to do my own this year. Here is what I wrote last week.
Sun 14
People were kind to Tim, and watched his talk online and came to the meeting and showed support in many ways.
Tim is now a missionary.
A beautiful sunset, a sign from heaven.
The S.L. children’s sacrament meeting presentation, singing The Spirit of God.
A visit from P and B from Austin.
Mon 15
Cute missionary vibes coming from behind the door in Paige’s old room, our home missionary training center.
A nice, slow day to recover a bit.
We shared favorite scriptures for family night. Mark: John 16:33; Tim (Elder Ross): Mosiah 4:11-12; Richard: D&C 121:7-8; Mine: Isaiah 61:1-3
Tim filled the house with piano music in the evening.
I am thankful for my journal to write in and to go back and read.
Tues 16
The recipe for stew that was the perfect comfort food after hearing Tim would be temporarily reassigned to Vancouver, Canada. (Not sad, just shocked and overwhelmed at having to get winter stuff so quickly.)
I shopped for clothing in the middle of the night and found things that would arrive before Tim leaves on December 1.
A Mitford novel to comfort me.
Daniel offered his mission coat to Tim.
Wed 17
Morning sunshine after a sleepless night
K.G. and family are recovering well from Covid. I have been worried about them.
I had time and clarity to finalize my presentation for stake Primary training.
I listened in to a missionary training meeting about obedience. It was so inspiring! Tim’s goodness fills the room. He is pleasant and happy.
Thurs 18
RJ was spared in an accident on the freeway.
I feel so blessed to work with my presidency. A and S taught and led with inspiration and power at the training meeting.
Richard helped me shop at Costco and arranged to have the oil changed in the car.
EL helped set up the technology for our training.
C put together beautifully packaged refreshments.
President T. from the stake presidency supported us by attending. He says the best things. “If Jesus came to your ward, I think He’d go to the Primary first.”
Fri 19
I sat down to write thank you notes. It took hours. People have been so kind to me.
An ailment I have felt for about 3 weeks just went away today.
Sat 20
We had an easy, straightforward trip to the suit shop to get a suit for Tim.
Both K. and M. came to dinner.
JB and JC listened and showed empathy.
I am thankful for the time I spent cleaning my pretty kitchen. It felt good to make it sparkle.
Sun 21
I was given strength and confidence to present my talk in a couple of wards.
Kind words from some people after my talk.
We spent time choosing music for our annual Christmas video and slideshow. I am so thankful for Paige and Tim’s help!
The Come Follow Me curriculum with teens has taught me the power of one or two insights each week. My job is not to cover everything, but to help them identify and remember the insights that come to their minds as they read. These insights and feelings are personal revelation, or what the Lord wants them to learn individually.
I had some wooden books and rings left over from a girls camp and our family used them to make “small plates”. We found art from the Come Follow Me manual to paste on the covers. As you see, not everyone participated in this craft activity. Typical! I could have just as easily bought simple notebooks. The papers are small, just a quarter sheet. As we read a chapter of the Book of Mormon aloud, we focus our attention on a topic from the manual and write down what we learn from reading. If our sons write one insight a week, this adds up to more than 50 insights a year for each of them. 50 pieces of instruction from the Holy Ghost. 50 helps from heaven. If we each write down one insight a week, we will have over 200 lessons gained as a family. Not that I am counting, or even looking at what they write. These are their sacred, small plates.
Reading as a family is a challenge. When we finally sit down to read after all kinds of contortions to make it happen, the family seems to lose all energy, and the dog becomes extra needy, distracting, and playful. It is during these times I call the little dog Satan and wish the teen years weren’t so tricky. But when I listen to the boys pray after we read, I hear their words of thanks for the time spent as a family. The sweetest advice I have been given is to LISTEN to what your teens say in their prayers. This is how they really feel.
This year we’re keeping our study small (focused) and simple (personal, in few words), trusting that great things will come of it. (Alma 37:6)
On Mondays for scripture study we work on marking the footnotes of the New Testament assignment. We mark the Joseph Smith Translation footnotes in red and the Greek footnotes in green. This takes some time, but it really helps us understand what we are reading.
We decided that we needed one last Lego building night, so for family night we turned on a Harry Potter audio book and played with sets from the old Lego library. Then we read scriptures and sent Timothy out to the garage with Richard to finish his last driver’s ed. assignment. I think we all felt pretty good about life.
Also, we found this attached to our door. The hearts are covered with encouraging messages from the Jaussi family.
Our lesson this week came from the Gospel Library app under the Missionary category, “Safeguards for Using Technology.” I asked each family member to teach one of the safeguards, then we listed three goals we will work on this week.
This guide is awesome! It is so wise and concise. Here are a few of our favorite quotes:
Turn on your device only after your intention is clear. Before turning on your mobile device or computer or opening an app, determine … what you will be doing. Consider the amount of time you will take and how these activities will lead to helping people …. (Safeguard 2)
Limit the use of technology when you are feeling bored, lonely, angry, anxious, stressed, or tired, or when you feel any other emotion that makes you vulnerable or susceptible. (Safeguard 2)
Experience has shown that people are more likely to encounter inappropriate content on the Internet when they are casually surfing the web without a specific purpose in mind. (Safeguard 2)
All missionaries experience weaknesses and feelings of vulnerability. Instead of hiding or ignoring these feelings, honestly acknowledge them in order to help yourself choose a better response and overcome temptation. (Safeguard 3)
Learn to recognize patterns in your thoughts, feelings, or behaviors that make it difficult for you to use technology righteously. You can avoid temptation by avoiding these patterns. (Safeguard 3)
Avoid checking or sending messages during sacrament meetings, ward council, or missionary training meetings (Safeguard 3)
Develop the discipline to use your mobile device only when it is appropriate to do so. When you are talking face-to-face with people, do not check messages or answer calls. Take control of how you use these tools. Do not let them control you. (Safeguard 3)
“Handheld devices, such as smartphones, are a blessing, but they can also distract us from hearing the ‘still, small voice.’ They need to be our servants, not our masters” -Elder M. Russell Ballard. (Safeguard 3)
Never use your device when you are alone. (Safeguard 4)
Remember, nearly all challenges associated with the Internet or with pornography happen in isolation. (Safeguard 4)
I used your Spode Christmas dishes last night to host a beautiful dinner for friends. We stayed around the table and talked for a long time. I made some of the food you used to serve to us, and we drank from your ruby red goblets. After dinner, everyone decorated candy houses, even the adults. I am sure you would have liked that. When the evening was over, as I hand washed each dish and stacked them gently with foam between each plate, I felt such gratitude for your example of gracious entertaining. I am taking good care of your dishes, and find that they make people feel special when I use them. You were so good at making people feel like they were important. I miss you. Your picture sits on one of the shelves in my kitchen, and your inspired hospitality lives on.
A few weeks ago I was looking for something at my parents’ house that our family left there by mistake. I went into the craft room where my mom has a shelf for each grandchild to store things. She often uses these to put misplaced items after the grandchildren leave. Inside my kids’ baskets on the shelves, I found the most amazing assortment of notes, drawings, and cards to my kids from their young cousins, who have been using these baskets as mailboxes. My family didn’t know it!
For Family Home Evening last night we decided to write back. We will slip these into their baskets when they aren’t looking. Shhhh! It’s a surprise.
