Doctrine and Covenants – Letters from Home

Steady

I’m celebrating that I finished a goal to do a deep study of the Doctrine of Covenants. I dedicated one morning a week for about a year to watch videos, read, and write about these modern day revelations.

I chose the same morning each week for my study sessions because it is when I do our laundry and I am scheduled to be home. Study sessions looked like me sitting between baskets and piles of clothing with videos playing, scriptures open, and books stacked. I read and wrote in the gaps between folding and loading loads of laundry. In other words, accomplishing this goal looked like nothing special. In fact, it was messy.

But now I have a notebook full of new insights, several new reference books, and I no longer feel out of touch about the subject. That is a nice feeling.

Sharing faith online

I am trying to be more mindful of what I write online. My blog posts are going through a more rigorous editing process, with most posts simmering for days before I hit, “Publish.”

My religious posts have the most revisions because I want to share uplifting things well.

I understand that not everyone wants to read about church or God. I post religious content on my blog because I know that readers are here by choice. But occasionally, I post something religious on social media.

In May, I shared on social media a talk given by a general authority because it had been helpful to me. A friend left a comment explaining that the talk was hurtful. Both of us took time to communicate about the post in a respectful way. I love my friend, and I told him that his opinions won’t change that.

I was pretty sad that my friend found pain in something that has inspired me. I questioned whether I should have shared the talk, even though it was from a worthy source. I questioned my motives, weighing the pride behind my post against my good intentions. As I thought and prayed about this, I realized many things, and I want to share a few of those things here.

First, personal choices, experiences, and culture influence how people see the same things so differently, but religion is not inherently hurtful. The things that cause discomfort often indicate something we need to face about ourselves. I learned through this uncomfortable experience that pointing someone to the Source of truth is better than establishing truth or proving a point.

Second, there are poor, good, better, and best ways of sharing faith. I acted hastily, as I do sometimes, when I am trying to gain the courage to share. If I had paused, I might have been instructed by the Spirit to share the content differently. Still, God can work with my imperfect efforts. My post led someone to listen to something new. Who knows how this experience will affect my friend’s life moving forward. I hope something positive will come from this, even if it’s just knowing that I still care.

Third, the goal can’t be to please everyone. The goal is to be a light. I want to be a gentle, steady light, not a spotlight focused on myself, and never an interrogation lamp to accuse.

In 1834, the Lord gave some instructions about the Latter-day Saints’ behavior and words in the midst of opposition. While I don’t face the same level of opposition, I think that this is a good personal guide for expressing faith:

Be very faithful and prayerful, and humble before me…reveal [share] not the things that I have revealed…until it is wisdom in me.

Talk not of judgments, neither boast of great faith nor of mighty works…

And behold, I will give unto you favor and grace in their eyes, that you may rest in peace and safety.

Doctrine and Covenants 105:23-25

So, I gather my scattered courage, friends, as I keep trying to shine a light. Sending courageous wishes to you as you do the same. The Lord is working with us.

And they went forth, and preached every where, the Lord working with them, and confirming the word with signs following.
Mark 16:20

Rest

In my Father’s house are many mansions:…I go to prepare a place for you.
John 14:2

Recently, I learned the original Greek word, monai, which became a Latinized version of mansions in this passage, actually means stopping places or resting stations. So, the original passage would be something like, In my Father’s house are many stopping places or resting stations, “thus giving the impression of a long journey rather than a large estate.”*

This makes me think of the mission of Jesus Christ in a new way. He prepares places to rest, not just at the end of our journey, but every day. These resting stations allow us to continue on the journey after a brief pause to be strengthened or encouraged, forgiven, and healed.

We need stopping places where we can have our injuries dressed and find the comfort of a Healer.

Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
Matthew 11:28-30

Every day, we need a stopping place to repent, and an ideal to follow.

Listen to him who is the advocate with the Father, who is pleading your cause before him—

Saying: Father, behold the sufferings and death of him who did no sin, in whom thou wast well pleased; behold the blood of thy Son which was shed, the blood of him whom thou gavest that thyself might be glorified;

Wherefore, Father, spare these my brethren that believe on my name, that they may come unto me and have everlasting life.
Doctrine and Covenants 45:3-5

Every day, we need a resting station to receive encouragement.

These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.

John 16:33

Where, then, are these resting stations in our lives? Perhaps some physical places come to mind, and maybe some less tangible things, such as behaviors or blessings can be “places” of rest. Whatever the image of rest, I know that the Savior’s understanding, power, and presence are involved.

*Concepts and quote about the Greek translation are from C. Wilfred Griggs, “The Last Supper According to John,” From the Last Supper through the Resurrection: The Savior’s Final Hours, ed. Richard Nietzel Holzapfel and Thomas Wayment, p. 116.

Know as I am Known

I read about a group of blind patients who received an experimental surgical procedure to have their sight restored. The results were the gift of vision, which you would think would be positive. Yet, the longer a patient had been blind, the less likely they were to be initially happy with the sudden ability to see. Distances, physical features, complexity of patterns, and relative heights were not anything like they imagined before they could see. One patient kept their eyes closed for days, as everything seemed like too much to process. Another was driven to insanity. One begged to have a reversal of the operation so they could experience things the old way once again. Children were much more open to a change in vision and lifestyle. They weren’t as burdened with habits and perceptions that stood in the way of a new life.

This story made me understand that it is a gift not to know all things just yet.

To me, the concept of faith is a gift. We are here to act according to our best and purest beliefs, without absolute knowledge. We get to live freely and fully, and as unencumbered as faith in Jesus Christ can make us.

Another gift is that we arrive gradually at stunning truths and principles that will require a lot from us. We have time to figure things out, and have the luxury to fail and try again. We build our capacity for knowledge as we do simple things day after day, week after week, year after year. Sometimes faith requires us to make a “leap,” but more often, it requires small, routine steps. When my personal faith feels shaky, it is usually because the little faithful acts aren’t being done, or they are being done without humility.

So, what is my reaction when smacked by something from church that doesn’t match my ideas of just or right or true? Can I curb the impulse to form fists, dig in heels, and let indignation grow? Can I summon the faith of a child during times when I need to show humility, not defiance?

I want my journey of faith to be like throwing off the blindfold and walking towards the blinding light of difficulty, and facing the challenges to my own way of thinking. I don’t want to shrink, abandoning the Way for my own path. In forty years of Church membership, I have navigated lots of things that prove that “[Our] thoughts are not [God’s] thoughts.” (Isaiah 55:8)

I chose the path of God’s mercy and grace when I was baptized, and it has been a blessing to live in a covenant relationship with Him. I want to be one who keeps looking at something until I can comprehend it. I know that I “see through a glass darkly,” but I “shall know, as also I am known.” (1 Corinthians 13:12)

Faith leads to knowledge. Knowledge of what? All things. God himself.

67 And if your eye be single to my glory, your whole bodies shall be filled with light, and there shall be no darkness in you; and that body which is filled with light comprehendeth all things.

68 Therefore, sanctify yourselves that yourminds become single to God, and the days will come that you shall see him; for he will unveil his face unto you, and it shall be in his own time, and in his own way, and according to his own will.
Doctrine and Covenants 88:67-68

no other gift

This is the first gift that I bestowed upon you; and I have commanded that you should pretend to no other gift until my purpose is fulfilled in this; for I will grant unto you no other gift until it is finished.
Doctrine and Covenants 4:5

Sometimes I feel restless for the next step. We are almost finished raising children at home and I feel interested to know where to put my energy.

Some insight came last week as I studied the Doctrine and Covenants. This verse is about the gift of translation for Joseph Smith, but I learned a few things about my own situation from these words.

My phase of life is a gift. These are important, poignant days in our family.

I don’t need all the gifts at once.

There will be other gifts when this phase is finished.

I need to be patient and see this through.

There is no need to pretend a work other than the one the Lord has planned for me. It is enough.

With one accord

“It must needs be that we should be led with one accord to the land of promise.”
1 Nephi 10:13

I never considered this line from Lehi until today. He has seen a lot of disunity in his family on their wilderness journey, and chooses to emphasize the need to act with one accord.

“With one accord = all together”

Why?

Lehi sees his family as being important in the overall plan of our Heavenly Father for his children. He is looking for unity stemming from a common faith.

Maybe we should think of our families like Lehi thinks about his family. Hey, our family is important to God! Together we can help each other and the world, beyond anything you can imagine. First things first: we need to understand Jesus.

“Wherefore, all mankind were in a lost and fallen state, and ever would be save they should rely on this Redeemer.”
1 Nephi 10:6

In what ways can a family be led with one accord?

In resolve to keep covenants.
In thanksgiving
In love
In work
In testimony
In support
In faith
In humor
In working for peace

What has helped my family to live with one accord?

worship
good traditions
communication
routines
goals
recreation
acts of love

Never have we accomplished or needed to do all of these things well at the same time.

I note the first word in the phrase, “Led with one accord.” Our success doesn’t come down to how well we did all the things, and you know the long list of all the things. This is, above all, a journey in grace, God’s help, God’s path, and God’s love. Sometimes our self-imposed lists can be the biggest barrier to the grace that would lead us along. Being led by the Lord means being true to Him through keeping covenants.

We are here to learn how to allow ourselves to be led, together. That looks different, day by day, week by week, year after year. For us, it once looked like prayer and job charts, singing Primary songs, and even shouting “Bam!” when we heard an important word in the scriptures. Now, it looks like intentional mealtime conversations, different ways to study scriptures, and more fun time together. Being “led with one accord” is simply to allow the Good Shepherd to lead your family along.

It works to just ask in prayer, “What should I do today to help my family?” An idea or thought, phrase, or call to action will come. It will definitely be a simple instruction, manageable and meaningful.

“Verily, verily, I say unto you, ye are little children, and he have not as yet understood the great blessings the Father hath in his own hands and prepared for you.
“And ye cannot bear all things now; nevertheless, be of good cheer, for I will lead you along. The kingdom is yours and the blessings thereof are yours, and the riches of eternity are yours.”
Doctrine and Covenants 78:17-18

Scripture Advent Calendar 2021

2021-Jesus-Christ-Advent-calendar Download

My go-to gift for for my friends and family the last several years has been a scripture advent calendar. Creating a calendar about Jesus Christ is such a good exercise! I love seeing the united voices of all scripture rally around Him.

Almost every day, I get a text from one or two people commenting on the scriptures I shared. What good company! I love hearing from people. Yesterday, a friend texted me that she loved the scripture about Jesus Christ as the Good Shepherd because it was so poetic.

As a shepherd seeketh out his flock in the day that he is among his sheep that are scattered; so will I seek out my sheep, and will deliver them out of all places where they have been scattered in the cloudy and dark day.
Ezekiel 34:12, KJV

I know the reason this advent calendar is especially popular this year is because of its topic, Jesus Christ. I know when we speak His name in reverence and seek to know Him, our lives are filled with the Spirit. This is the Christmas feeling, the Spirit of God.

Tender mercies Nov. 14-21

I was inspired by someone who keeps a gratitude journal to do my own this year. Here is what I wrote last week.

Sun 14

People were kind to Tim, and watched his talk online and came to the meeting and showed support in many ways.
Tim is now a missionary.
A beautiful sunset, a sign from heaven.
The S.L. children’s sacrament meeting presentation, singing The Spirit of God.
A visit from P and B from Austin.

Mon 15

Cute missionary vibes coming from behind the door in Paige’s old room, our home missionary training center.
A nice, slow day to recover a bit.
We shared favorite scriptures for family night. Mark: John 16:33; Tim (Elder Ross): Mosiah 4:11-12; Richard: D&C 121:7-8; Mine: Isaiah 61:1-3
Tim filled the house with piano music in the evening.
I am thankful for my journal to write in and to go back and read.

Tues 16

The recipe for stew that was the perfect comfort food after hearing Tim would be temporarily reassigned to Vancouver, Canada. (Not sad, just shocked and overwhelmed at having to get winter stuff so quickly.)
I shopped for clothing in the middle of the night and found things that would arrive before Tim leaves on December 1.
A Mitford novel to comfort me.
Daniel offered his mission coat to Tim.

Wed 17

Morning sunshine after a sleepless night
K.G. and family are recovering well from Covid. I have been worried about them.
I had time and clarity to finalize my presentation for stake Primary training.
I listened in to a missionary training meeting about obedience. It was so inspiring! Tim’s goodness fills the room. He is pleasant and happy.

Thurs 18

RJ was spared in an accident on the freeway.
I feel so blessed to work with my presidency. A and S taught and led with inspiration and power at the training meeting.
Richard helped me shop at Costco and arranged to have the oil changed in the car.
EL helped set up the technology for our training.
C put together beautifully packaged refreshments.
President T. from the stake presidency supported us by attending. He says the best things. “If Jesus came to your ward, I think He’d go to the Primary first.”

Fri 19

I sat down to write thank you notes. It took hours. People have been so kind to me.
An ailment I have felt for about 3 weeks just went away today.

Sat 20

We had an easy, straightforward trip to the suit shop to get a suit for Tim.
Both K. and M. came to dinner.
JB and JC listened and showed empathy.
I am thankful for the time I spent cleaning my pretty kitchen. It felt good to make it sparkle.

Sun 21

I was given strength and confidence to present my talk in a couple of wards.
Kind words from some people after my talk.
We spent time choosing music for our annual Christmas video and slideshow. I am so thankful for Paige and Tim’s help!

Grab Bag

There’s just a random collection of things to share this week.

Reading: Simple Justice by Richard Kluger (history about Brown v. Board of Education) and Miss Buncle novels (fun)

Eating: corn on the cob and every fruit

Thinking about: my next writing project (Which project do I choose? How long will I spend each day working on it? Who is my audience? How will I find the solitude to do it?)

Looking back over the month of June: We got through all the doctor checkup appointments and wisdom teeth extractions. I hiked more than I have in years. We finished and ordered 50 copies of my dad’s book.

Watching: a broad variety of things, mostly with Mark, who is also a cinephile. If you like biography, the Garth Brooks documentary on Netflix was interesting and inspiring. For kids, we liked Luca and The Mysterious Benedict Society on Disney+. Richard and I enjoyed The Terminal with Tom Hanks.

Listening to: Elmer Bernstein’s To Kill a Mockingbird soundtrack; Josh Groban (His duet, Both Sides Now, with Sara Bareilles is really good, but it’s impossible for me to sing along); silence.

Relieved about: the dogs behind our house are gone.

The sounds of their panting and long-nailed feet as they scrambled down rotten deck stairs when they heard me open the back door were nightmarish. But the barking was terrifying.

Wondering: if this blog is worth anyone’s time.

Inspired by: the people of Ammon in the Book of Mormon (Alma 26; 27:10, 29-30) What acts of courage are required of me? Also, Doctrine and Covenants 67 is a beautiful formula and foundation for staying true to the faith: trust the Creator, don’t focus on flaws of leaders, don’t fear, don’t be prideful and jealous. God will reveal himself to you as you are humble. Continue in patience.

Seek not to be cumbered

It’s been a personal project for several years to write fewer things on my TO DO list. I don’t want to be at the mercy of my plans. I want to be focused, but flexible.

I began simplifying so I could be more present with my family. As I look back on a couple years of efforts to simplify, I see it has sometimes been a struggle. At times, I resented that it was my own fault that I was too busy. Wasn’t I supposed to be achieving and stretching? I felt sorry for myself when I didn’t allow more check marks to prove my value. I feared that I was limiting myself. It is so ingrained in our culture to be busy that I felt like I was choosing to be lazy. I didn’t trust that I was still “anxiously engaged in a good cause” if I was free in the evenings, available to talk or watch a show.

Over time, I began to see that clear space in the day is essential. This is the creative space, the spontaneous, fun space, the space for connection. I have noticed that I am producing as much as I ever did, and I’m still making steady progress towards larger goals. The big difference is that I am less weary, distracted, and fragile.

So, for the past few years, I haven’t let myself fill every line in the day planner. The idea is to have empty lines and white space on the page.

I like to choose a monthly focus and a few weekly goals. I choose a focus of the month to remind myself that I don’t need to think about everything all the time. This month, the focus is Health. Next month, the focus is Celebrations. Sometimes there isn’t a neat focus word for the month but I write down a word or two to help me see where I am headed. It helps!

Last week’s reading assignment in the Doctrine and Covenants had a line that stood out to me, “Seek not to be cumbered.” (Doctrine and Covenants 66:10; See also Luke 10:40.) To me this means don’t try to fill life so full, even with good things, that I can’t enjoy the best things. I think it also means adjusting my attitude about the things I must do. Sometimes the most cumbersome thing I deal with is my own terrible attitude. I believe no matter your season of life, your personality, or challenges, that “seek not to be cumbered” is a really good idea.