Church – Page 21 – Letters from Home

Pretty things

My craft room shelves are full of soft, colorful, whimsical gifts for Christmas. I wish I could post some pictures, but my projects are top secret. This year I am giving to my brother Joe and his kids. The goal is comfort and joy for this precious, buffeted family. As November turns to December, and until Christmas, you will find me embroidering and hand sewing in the late evenings. Heaven.

Last night I gathered with my presidency to package our Christmas and 2017 birthday gifts for the sisters in our ward. The Christmas gifts are not quite ready to show, but the birthday gifts are ready. We will give each sister one of these lip balm packages on her birthday. They are so pretty. Richard helped me make the labels to stick on these little jars that we ordered from Bulk Apothecary. I found the “Charity Never Faileth” graphic on Pinterest. These gifts are less than a dollar each with packaging.

Something I feel good about

The invitation read,

An Evening at the Bishop’s House

Please join us Friday, November 11th for an informal evening with friends, food, and faith.

We’ll start dinner at 6:00 pm, but come when you can. We will eat, visit, and discuss issues of faith and belief.

Child care will be provided–call or text….. They are expecting to hear from you!

We hope you can come,

The Brockbanks and the Rosses

Please let us know if you can’t make it.

The bishop and I prepared an evening for people in our ward to gather in his home for a meal and a discussion about maintaining faith. We talked about this over the course of a year. We knew it was probably important to address the doubts that are coming forward so strongly today, but how should we go about it? We talked about it in ward council. We talked about it in other meetings. We wanted to create an environment where people would feel comfortable addressing this very personal topic. We wanted it to feel casual, warm, supportive, and inspiring. I heard myself say in ward council one Sunday that I felt that a sister’s voice was needed along with the bishop’s voice in such a gathering. Eventually, in September, the bishop asked me to come up with a format for the night to be a foundation we could add upon. He wanted to hold this activity sometime in October or November.

One night I lay awake thinking about what to do. I fell asleep but woke up around 1:00 am with a clear idea of what needed to happen. I turned on a light and wrote it all down. We did not plan this evening. The Lord did. On this list were tiny details such as mailing invitations and a need for childcare. Also there were bigger concepts such as focusing on maintaining faith rather than going down a list of controversial topics, although we should be prepared to address these topics. Truly, God’s hand was in the planning. The bishop added a few things, including providing a dinner, not just a dessert and he finalized the list of people to invite.

The bishop mailed invitations and prepared his house for the big event. Seriously, he hand-addressed envelopes! No one was hand picked because we had specific concerns. We just chose the younger age group in the ward. I saw how he prepared spiritually. I tried to do the same. My presidency, a few other sisters, and I made the food. Two sisters and their teens provided childcare next door to the bishop’s house. Richard rode in the back of our truck up the hill to the bishop’s house, trying to stabilize a handful of crock pots full of soup.We helped set up some chairs and set out the buffet. We held our breath and hoped for a good turnout. 30 people out of the 40 we invited showed up!

After dinner, we gathered in the living room and began a discussion. The bishop and I spoke, back and forth, and so did his wife and Richard. We hoped others would participate, too. Neither of us spoke from notes, but we knew some basics of what each would discuss. We shared personal stories from our lives. The bishop used some videos from the church and Steven Spielberg to make some points. I drew from James 1 to encourage us to let patience have her perfect work as we sort through matters that challenge our faith.

I feel really good about the evening because so many came and so many people felt comfortable enough to share their experiences. As people shared their journeys with us, many topics came up, such as sustaining the prophet, same sex marriage, and priesthood, as we thought they would. People felt supported. People seemed to love the time together. There is a lot of support for doubt in the world. We wanted to create a place and community to support choosing faith, while acknowledging there are challenges to our faith. I think we achieved that.

I feel a lot of gratitude for the opportunity to speak as a leader, to share my testimony, and to encourage others. Preparing food for a crowd and preparing my mind and heart to speak at the same time was a big deal. I smile when I think about the evening.

A few things I am thinking about

I just bought a gallon of milk that has an expiration date AFTER election day. We have almost made it! On social media, I got carrried away one day and temporarily blocked many friends who posted something political, so now my news feed is missing, oh, most people. My social media consists of Minion memes, recipes, weddings of people I have never seen before, and a lot of Chicago Cubs stuff. And there is that one friend who posts obscure quotes about classic literature and meditation. I figure many of my social media friends have blocked me for all the links I post to LDS.org. So much for social media being a way to communicate.

Richard and the boys pumped the attic full of insulation over fall break. I have been so warm at night ever since, but I am not sure if it’s because I have convinced myself that I will be warm or if there is a real difference.

Richard has always been conservative with energy use at the house. He is driven to see our kilowatt hours go lower and lower. Our power company gives us a graphic showing how we rank among our neighbors in energy usage. The coveted lowest tier is not yet ours, but I think Richard knows we can get there someday. Is your house full of LED lightbulbs? They are expensive and flicker, but the quality of their light is so much gentler than compact fluorescent bulbs.

Our refrigerator died on Friday night the minute after the appliance repair shops closed for the weekend. It is an 18 year old refrigerator, and it has kept our family alive for a long time. I feel some nostalgia as it begins to falter. Richard looked up another You Tube video about how to fix a refrigerator and got things running again. (He fixed our washer earlier this year after studying a You Tube video.) Better energy efficiency in a new refrigerator may put us in the running for the elite tier of energy savers in the neighborhood, so maybe we should buy a new one. We go round and round endlessly wondering what to do. I keep a thermometer in the refrigerator to make sure it’s staying cold as we enter day 4 of deliberation and negotiation. And I may have to cross over to stainless steel, a sure indicator that styles will change abruptly and stainless will be outdated.

One difficult part of my job at church is when someone asks a tricky question in class and the teacher asks me for a definitive answer. Women older and wiser than me hold their breath. “Will she be able to answer it?” they wonder. Kind and sympathetic women turn and give me encouraging looks. I got a tricky question on Sunday. For the first time in a year and a half, I came home from church not second-guessing my wording of an answer. It must have been important for me to have the answer on Sunday, because I hardly even blushed as I spoke. Maybe I am getting used to being put on the spot.

I hope you didn’t waste too much time reading this nonsense.

The lie of perfectionism

I post this because it’s a powerful testimony of how scripture study helped a young woman learn about Christ’s grace. It’s a reminder that God doesn’t tell us that if we were just more amazing we would be enough. The race is not for personal perfection on our own; the race is to come unto Christ to be perfected.

Sometimes visiting teaching looks like this

I have a church assignment to visit one of the women in this photo each month to share a gospel message and be her friend. I have a great partner who comes with me who could not be with us when this picture was taken. One thing I have learned about visiting teaching over the years is that sometimes a visit isn’t what a woman needs most. Sometimes it is a meal. Sometimes it is a phone call or a letter or text messages with funny or uplifting quotes. Always it is my prayers. Last night it was an impromptu birthday party at a restaurant. These are some of the busiest women I know but it was so good to take some time and be happy together.

The Miracle of the Peaches

Someone said to me as I visited her elderly mother who was ill, “You’re a little young for this job. I think Relief Society presidents shouldn’t be called unless they are much older.” (She meant no harm, only concern for my young family.)

“Yes, I am young,” I agreed. “Yet here I am,” I thought. I do lack some years and life experience and knowledge. However, I have a lot of experiences that indicate that the Lord magnifies our efforts, whatever our age.

Last week I got a call from a man in our congregation. He sounded frantic, “I need your help!” and then the cell phone cut out.

Worried, I called him back, thinking of all kinds of awful possibilities for his call. “I have some peaches from my tree that I need someone to prepare. Can you do it?”

“Yes,” I said, remembering all the times we had offered to help this family, but they said they were fine. I knew this meant he had come to trust me. I also knew I could call many people to help me, but that takes time which I didn’t have. I did ask one person, but she wasn’t available. When I saw there weren’t too many peaches, I decided I could do it on my own…only I had never done it before.

Peaches don’t wait for you. You must deal with them quickly when they are ripe. It was after 8 pm when I had time to face the box of peaches and begin the task. I would be up late, of this I was sure.

At this moment, I saw the little light on my phone blinking. There was a text message from a neighbor telling me that she was canning peaches from 8-10 and inviting me to come over. I had signed up to learn her techniques at a canning presentation back in May. She was apologetic for the late notice; she had found a deal on peaches that afternoon and realized they needed to be canned right away.

I don’t love asking for help at the last minute. I don’t even like making phone calls. But I recognized a miracle happening and I needed to act.

I called her and told her I needed her help, not realizing her ENTIRE kitchen was filled with peaches. She and her husband, over steaming pots and sticky peaches told me over speaker phone, “Sure, bring your peaches. We will make it work.”

And they did. Jeremy washed and blanched. I peeled and cut, and Elizabeth prepared the syrup and packed them in containers. Their son also stayed up late in his pajamas to help. In a little over an hour, the task was done, their own peaches and jars set aside to help a neighbor late at night, with no advance notice.

Yes, I am young, and they are young, but sometimes there are miracles. And because of the peaches, I have strengthened friendships with the man with the peach tree, Elizabeth, and Jeremy.

The best day

Yesterday was the best day I have had in a long time. I got to speak in church and teach a class. Paige came home for a few hours and we had a nice Sunday dinner. At church I sat on the stand and could see the faces of the women in my congregation that I do not see in Relief Society. Some dear friends were well enough to attend church. The weather was sunny and the colorful mountains startled me with their vibrant red and yellow leaves. It has been four years since I have spoken in church. Sigh. I love writing and public speaking.

Charity Never Faileth

Here is some of what “Charity Never Faileth” means to me:

It’s possible to have courage and wisdom during difficult visits to the grieving, lonely, sick, and depressed. (Charity won’t fail you in challenging moments.)
My love for a person can endure, whether my hopes for that person are realized or not. (Charity doesn’t stop when a person chooses a different path than we imagined for them.)
When my feet are tired after many hours of standing, I can still smile. (Charity gives physical and emotional strength.)
Love for an individual is not contingent on a person’s behavior or any other thing. (Charity doesn’t limit us to our own circle; it expands our hearts to others.)
Expressions of charity are possible even when a person is going through a difficult time herself. (Charity allows a person who is grieving to support others.)
It is one of those qualities that we will take with us when we die, and it is one mark of a true disciple. (Charity defines us as Christ’s in the eternities.)
People will never forget even simple acts which are motivated by pure love. (True charity is etched in hearts, unforgettable and treasured.)

I also believe that daughters and sons of God can have this gift of charity in abundance, equally, but expressions of it will look very different. We need both men and women to develop charity. When men and women are motivated by the pure love of Christ, miracles will happen.

I believe in miracles

A wise teacher taught me on Sunday that it’s not boasting to show ourselves as heroines in our stories, sharing our efforts to be disciples of Christ. Implied in every miracle in our work to follow the the Savior is the presence of the Savior, not the greatness of the disciple. Therefore, it would be a mistake to avoid sharing goodness for fear we sound like we are boasting. Miracles are not human made, not possibly earned, nor perfectly deserved. God is generous!

I draw a star on my calendar on days when I see miracles in my life or the lives of my friends. I can’t leave the month of July without trying to relate that I have seen miracles this summer, so I have decided to share two miracles with you. I want to show gratitude for these things, and if you, dear reader, are struggling, perhaps acknowledging miracles could be a good exercise for you.

Richard’s absence from home this month wore on me, and one day I felt especially tired, but followed through with my plan go to a viewing before a funeral to comfort my friend. I didn’t even wash my face before I left; I just threw on my dress and wore whatever was left of the makeup I had applied the day before. When I walked in the room, Linda K. Burton, Relief Society General President was standing right in front of me. I didn’t realize the deceased was her niece. She pulled me aside and asked me who I was, not allowing me to leave my introduction of myself as “a friend of the grandparents,” and asked to know my full name. She complimented me on my good countenance. Finally, I confessed that I was serving as a Relief Society president and she gave me a big hug and said no wonder she felt drawn to talk to me. She asked about my ward and listened to me rave about how good the sisters are. I felt the Lord had guided sweet Sister Burton to talk to me and tell me that she thought I looked like a good person. I don’t think of myself as someone who seeks the approval of others, but it felt so good to feel validation from her. This miracle makes me want to spread the love she showed to me.

I saw miracles from single verses of scripture. The previous Relief Society president in my ward always sent beautifully wrapped treats up to Girls Camp, so I was trying to follow the tradition to do the same. I realized as I looked down at the table of snacks that my secretary had prepared that this was NOT ME. I needed to add something; something truly from me, not just copy someone else’s tradition. I pulled out my phone and found my list of scriptures I have tagged as “words of encouragement” and wrote one scripture reference on the tag of each gift. I sent no other words, just a different scripture for each girl and leader to look up. Several people have stopped me to tell me how meaningful those verses were; that the words seemed to be “just for them.” These stories represent miracles. God was involved in the details of that day when those gifts were prepared and when the gifts were passed out at camp.

I don’t believe there are small miracles. If a miracle of “coincidence” or “kindness” gives someone strength to go on or change, this is no small thing. These miracles were important, even vital to me, and hopefully others this month.

Scout Camp 2016

This morning I went through the pictures from the last month. The High Adventure trip began on June 28, and since that time, someone in our family has been away on camps or vacations almost constantly. Richard came home from 3 weeks of missed work, ready to plan more trips. I don’t understand this man sometimes.

Timothy and Richard spent a week at Bear Lake for Scout camp. As I look through these pictures, I see how Timothy has matured this year. Richard didn’t get any photos of himself, except on the last day when he went water skiing with a couple of the dads.

Can we talk for a minute about what it’s like to be married to a Scoutmaster? In one word, for me, the experience is sleepless. Often I leave my lamp on all night, not fearful, but uneasy, and unable to sleep. I honestly don’t worry about their safety. I give that worry to God in prayer, but I feel loss when my family is away. I’m thankful that they are all home again. Timothy was still healing from a terrible motorcycle burn and came down with a case of Strep while at scout camp, but this week, all is well. Scout camp teaches all of us, even those at home, that we can do hard things. (Ha! These pictures don’t look like a trial at all.)