Category: Church

Some truth to replace a lie

So far, my 2017 has been about rededication about my use of time. It’s been about simple things like putting my phone down and keeping it on silent. It’s been longer and deeper study of the Book of Mormon each day. I gave up some screen habits that have been numbing me to what is going on.

Along with my feelings of needing to rededicate my life to good things, it has been a rocky few months at home. We have some family concerns which seemed to justify the creeping notion that it is impossible to be a good wife and mother and be a good Relief Society president at the same time.

Things are getting better now, some simple truths having won out.

On Sunday as I partook of the sacrament, it became clear to me that it’s a lie that it’s impossible to be a good wife and mother and serve in the Church.

The truth is, the Lord just needs my dedication to living commandments and for me to give simple acts of love and he will work miracles. I have seen many.

People feel my love when all I can do is pray for them each day. 

Deep scripture study has given me answers to impossible questions and helped me articulate answers to dilemmas in meetings.

I have felt a heightened awareness of who I need to talk to, sometimes based on a simple expression on a face and no verbal cues.

I have felt the power and influence of good counselors and a secretary to know who to serve each week.

Writing a short note has been a powerful way to communicate with those who are not open to a visit or when I can’t visit. Short notes don’t take much time. They just require love.

The names, direction, and action items that come to my mind when I partake of the sacrament on Sunday are incredibly accurate. When I act on these impressions, I see that God is making me a better wife and mother, minister, and witness.

Next to my relationship with God, being a wife and mother is my most important work. As I improve my relationship to God and family, I feel more confident in my church service. There is no way to measure a person’s influence for good in the lives of others, but I believe it grows as I draw closer to the Lord. I am grateful to a few friends who reassured me of this on Sunday. I feel a new energy to keep trying.

F is for February

F is for February. It is also for:

Failure: I missed some cues and regret it.

Fun: trip to St George, Lego movie

Friendships: broken heart

Fitness: racquetball

Flurries: snow this week

Faith: my lesson topic in Relief Society

Food: turkey and mashed potatoes; oven s’mores

Forgiveness: an essential key to resilience

Funny: joke shop in Payson, UT

Facebook: I’m not looking at it.

Fever: a couple of kids sick

Finally: My Christmas present on back-order arrived.

Forty-six: Richard’s birthday is this weekend.

Fantastic: the boys’ piano pieces

Finger: Paige’s finger is still broken but making progress

Fine: Everything is going to be OK.

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Relief Society presidency

Today when I saw how we were dressed, I knew we couldn’t let the opportunity slip away to take a picture.

A more accurate picture of this presidency would include Charlene laughing, Cindy in gentle, quiet conversation, Kristy making calls and carrying sign-up sheets, and me finding a scripture to match a comment made by someone in the class or asking nosy questions. Another would be sitting around my kitchen table on Tuesday nights going over Compassionate service needs and visiting teaching routes. It would be all of us in Charlene’s car driving around to visits. It would be of us working together, and also separately to reach out to as many sisters as we can each week.

If I could go back in time, I would take more pictures with the people I have served with in presidencies and classes, packs and camps. I know we won’t have this relationship forever, so I am savoring the lessons they teach me and the good times together.

Snow, snow, snow, Serve, serve, serve

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We got so much snow last weekend that we thought we would document it. The snow plows always make a large pile in front of our yard, but this is the biggest we have ever seen.

Richard is camping! with the Scouts in this stuff. I sometimes feel grumpy about all he has to do because I wouldn’t enjoy doing those things. However, I think he likes most of the life of a Scoutmaster. Maybe I am a little grumpy because I miss him, too.

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This week I fielded calls and texts every day about people being sick and meeting their needs. If I stop to think, I can feel overwhelmed by so many needs. Mid-week, I got a call from the YW saying they were going to make a whole bunch of freezer meals for the Relief Society. Hooray for the army of women and young women who do so much to help others. On Thursday I met with our quilt group to see the quilt we made for a sister with cancer. We always have the biggest turnout at quilt group when there is a service project to do. It is a tribute to the hearts of the women that service activities are always full.

Have you downloaded the Serve Refugees app yet? In Salt Lake there is a need for JoAnn gift cards for a sewing class that is now in session. This is an easy, meaningful way to help a refugee become self-sufficient today. I am thinking that a small note from you or your children, encouraging a vulnerable refugee woman would go perfectly with a gift card.

You can mail gift cards to:

Utah Refugee Connection, 6440 South Wasatch Blvd., Suite 100, Salt Lake City, UT, 84121

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Lifting Others’ Burdens

This Advent activity on LDS.org is a beautiful thing and I am going to follow it each day, but if I decide to share what I do, it will be in vague terms. Today to “lift a burden” I spent time on hold with customer service to fix something for a family member and visited someone who was in bed. I feel my life is pretty standard and not exemplary in any way, but I still feel God’s involvement in the details, and that means so much to me.

Pretty things

My craft room shelves are full of soft, colorful, whimsical gifts for Christmas. I wish I could post some pictures, but my projects are top secret. This year I am giving to my brother Joe and his kids. The goal is comfort and joy for this precious, buffeted family. As November turns to December, and until Christmas, you will find me embroidering and hand sewing in the late evenings. Heaven.

Last night I gathered with my presidency to package our Christmas and 2017 birthday gifts for the sisters in our ward. The Christmas gifts are not quite ready to show, but the birthday gifts are ready. We will give each sister one of these lip balm packages on her birthday. They are so pretty. Richard helped me make the labels to stick on these little jars that we ordered from Bulk Apothecary. I found the “Charity Never Faileth” graphic on Pinterest. These gifts are less than a dollar each with packaging.

Something I feel good about

The invitation read,

An Evening at the Bishop’s House

Please join us Friday, November 11th for an informal evening with friends, food, and faith.

We’ll start dinner at 6:00 pm, but come when you can. We will eat, visit, and discuss issues of faith and belief.

Child care will be provided–call or text….. They are expecting to hear from you!

We hope you can come,

The Brockbanks and the Rosses

Please let us know if you can’t make it.

The bishop and I prepared an evening for people in our ward to gather in his home for a meal and a discussion about maintaining faith. We talked about this over the course of a year. We knew it was probably important to address the doubts that are coming forward so strongly today, but how should we go about it? We talked about it in ward council. We talked about it in other meetings. We wanted to create an environment where people would feel comfortable addressing this very personal topic. We wanted it to feel casual, warm, supportive, and inspiring. I heard myself say in ward council one Sunday that I felt that a sister’s voice was needed along with the bishop’s voice in such a gathering. Eventually, in September, the bishop asked me to come up with a format for the night to be a foundation we could add upon. He wanted to hold this activity sometime in October or November.

One night I lay awake thinking about what to do. I fell asleep but woke up around 1:00 am with a clear idea of what needed to happen. I turned on a light and wrote it all down. We did not plan this evening. The Lord did. On this list were tiny details such as mailing invitations and a need for childcare. Also there were bigger concepts such as focusing on maintaining faith rather than going down a list of controversial topics, although we should be prepared to address these topics. Truly, God’s hand was in the planning. The bishop added a few things, including providing a dinner, not just a dessert and he finalized the list of people to invite.

The bishop mailed invitations and prepared his house for the big event. Seriously, he hand-addressed envelopes! No one was hand picked because we had specific concerns. We just chose the younger age group in the ward. I saw how he prepared spiritually. I tried to do the same. My presidency, a few other sisters, and I made the food. Two sisters and their teens provided childcare next door to the bishop’s house. Richard rode in the back of our truck up the hill to the bishop’s house, trying to stabilize a handful of crock pots full of soup.We helped set up some chairs and set out the buffet. We held our breath and hoped for a good turnout. 30 people out of the 40 we invited showed up!

After dinner, we gathered in the living room and began a discussion. The bishop and I spoke, back and forth, and so did his wife and Richard.  We hoped others would participate, too. Neither of us spoke from notes, but we knew some basics of what each would discuss. We shared personal stories from our lives. The bishop used some videos from the church and Steven Spielberg to make some points. I drew from James 1 to encourage us to let patience have her perfect work as we sort through matters that challenge our faith.

I feel really good about the evening because so many came and so many people felt comfortable enough to share their experiences. As people shared their journeys with us, many topics came up, such as sustaining the prophet, same sex marriage, and priesthood, as we thought they would. People felt supported. People seemed to love the time together. There is a lot of support for doubt in the world. We wanted to create a place and community to support choosing faith, while acknowledging there are challenges to our faith. I think we achieved that.

I feel a lot of gratitude for the opportunity to speak as a leader, to share my testimony, and to encourage others. Preparing food for a crowd and preparing my mind and heart to speak at the same time was a big deal. I smile when I think about the evening.

 

A few things I am thinking about

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I just bought a gallon of milk that has an expiration date AFTER election day. We have almost made it! On social media, I got carrried away one day and temporarily blocked many friends who posted something political, so now my news feed is missing, oh, most people. My social media consists of Minion memes, recipes, weddings of people I have never seen before, and a lot of Chicago Cubs stuff. And there is that one friend who posts obscure quotes about classic literature and meditation. I figure many of my social media friends have blocked me for all the links I post to LDS.org. So much for social media being a way to communicate.

Richard and the boys pumped the attic full of insulation over fall break. I have been so warm at night ever since, but I am not sure if it’s because I have convinced myself that I will be warm or if there is a real difference.

Richard has always been conservative with energy use at the house. He is driven to see our kilowatt hours go lower and lower. Our power company gives us a graphic showing how we rank among our neighbors in energy usage. The coveted lowest tier is not yet ours, but I think Richard knows we can get there someday. Is your house full of LED lightbulbs? They are expensive and flicker, but the quality of their light is so much gentler than compact fluorescent bulbs.

Our refrigerator died on Friday night the minute after the appliance repair shops closed for the weekend. It is an 18 year old refrigerator, and it has kept our family alive for a long time. I feel some nostalgia as it begins to falter. Richard looked up another You Tube video about how to fix a refrigerator and got things running again. (He fixed our washer earlier this year after studying a You Tube video.) Better energy efficiency in a new refrigerator may put us in the running for the elite tier of energy savers in the neighborhood, so maybe we should buy a new one. We go round and round endlessly wondering what to do. I keep a thermometer in the refrigerator to make sure it’s staying cold as we enter day 4 of deliberation and negotiation. And I may have to cross over to stainless steel, a sure indicator that styles will change abruptly and stainless will be outdated.

One difficult part of my job at church is when someone asks a tricky question in class and the teacher asks me for a definitive answer. Women older and wiser than me hold their breath. “Will she be able to answer it?” they wonder. Kind and sympathetic women turn and give me encouraging looks. I got a tricky question on Sunday. For the first time in a year and a half, I came home from church not second-guessing my wording of an answer. It must have been important for me to have the answer on Sunday, because I hardly even blushed as I spoke. Maybe I am getting used to being put on the spot.

I hope you didn’t waste too much time reading this nonsense.