Cherry Tree

Outside my kitchen window, in my neighbor’s yard is a large, mature cherry tree. In the spring, its white blossoms dominate my view. After a foggy winter night, I will awaken to its bare branches swathed in white frost. After the hush of a snowstorm, every twig carries a deposit of snow, highlighting the intricacy of its design. In summer, the filtered light through its leaves at sunrise and bright red cherries are my delights. In autumn, its leaves are some of the last to fall among the trees in the neighborhood.

Today there are green cherries all over the tree. In my view of so much emerald green, my mind struggles to remember the more harsh views of winter. My memory feels feeble and ungrateful as I try to remember what it was like to look out the window just a few months ago. Winter is beautiful, but when the leaves are out, it’s hard to remember that there was a winter.

I drive my truck around the neighborhood, with several simple birthday gifts for Relief Society sisters on the seat next to me. I could easily walk this route, but I want to finish my errands quickly. The more noble part of me wants to knock on the doors to give the women the carefully wrapped gifts and cards written with my heart. The shy part of me wonders whether I should just leave the gifts on the doorsteps and avoid knocking. After all, this week’s demands have been great. Perhaps I have given enough. But then I remember the tree outside my window.

How many times has this tree blessed my life? How many times has it provided fruit and shade in the summer? How many cold seasons has it weathered, to live to amaze us with its unrestrained display of white flowers? How many times has its presence been enough to inspire me, in frost, in heat, sunshine, and storms?

I knock on the doors. I can be like this tree.

Favorite Things

Last week for a Relief Society activity, we did a modest gift exchange, keeping our purchases around $5. The gift was supposed to represent some of our favorite things. For the gift I brought, I included an extra fine point pen, some Jelly Bellies and some lipstick. Into the bag also went this paper with a few favorite scripture verses. I ran out of room before I could do much from the Bible. Trust me, there are lots of favorite Bible verses in my life.

Perspective

Perspective is almost impossible to have without stepping back and allowing light, space, and sometimes time to give us necessary wisdom.


Mark plays a console game on our television after his school and piano work are finished. It is a 30-minute reward for his efforts. He doesn’t sit as he plays; he jumps and dodges on one spot of rug, mimicking the moves of the game. The inexpensive rug in the room is starting to show wear on his spot. Exasperated, one day, I pushed my laundry baskets over the area and asked him to play on a different square of carpet. Days later, as I vacuumed over and over the spot, trying to pull up the fibers of the rug so they wouldn’t look so matted, I realized that I was being ridiculous. If Mark were to no longer be part of our life, I would treasure that square of rug because it was his spot. I would be sad that I had been more concerned about the rug than him enjoying his reward for hard work. No more complaining about the rug.


I have on loan two books which commemorate 25 years of our neighborhood church history. On its pages I see the portraits of my friends when they still had their children living at home. I read the accounts of their service in the church, doing the work I do now. Younger, more vibrant faces shine up at me from the pages, showing my now elderly neighbors in their days of deep service in the Church and the community. We are living the same story, 10, 20, 30 and 40 years behind our friends. I see ourselves in our friends’ faces in the book, taking our turn to serve with the youth and Relief Society. We will keep changing responsibilities, just as they did, and find ourselves back in Primary or Sunday School, and perhaps back again. What do my friends in this book teach me? That these days are fleeting. They are the adventures we will look back on for years to come. The stretching we feel now can help us grow to be a little more wise and kind– a little more like our friends.


I am tenderhearted this week as I finish the end of an era of teaching home school. The books on the shelf have served  their purpose. What will I do with them now? I am not ready to give many of them away. They are a monument to how we have spent our days together. I gained a bit of perspective recently as I mourned this loss. I realized that what I have given my children, and the bond we have because of it, will not be taken away, even though circumstances change. As I step away from the books, papers, projects, and especially precious time together, I begin to see the fruits: our relationships and abilities rise up and take their place. I am so thankful for these years.

Dinner for Carol’s family

Centerpieces we did for the family dinner after the memorial service

Carol was a member of my congregation. She was endearing. Several of her nieces and nephews said that she loved them like each one was her favorite. She loved them differently, just as they needed to be loved. Isn’t that beautiful?

Relief Society Birthday party

I took a couple of shots of our RS birthday party as it was winding down and some people had already gone home. To get everyone to smile, I told them I was printing these pictures to give to a sister in a care facility. That’s love you see in their smiling faces.

We played games and there was a trivia contest about Relief Society history. Each month in 2017 we are providing service for the refugees in our community. Last month, we prepared over 70 kits with cleaning and hygiene supplies. This month, our sisters donated around 100 reusable shopping bags. We watch for needs on the Serve Refugees app and advertise them. Many sisters can’t attend activities at night, but they can participate in this service, and they do. The evening was light and happy. It was good.

Happy 175th Birthday, Relief Society

I met these friends by serving in Relief Society. Their faith has been a strength to me for 15 years.

Today I celebrate Relief Society, the women’s organization in my Church. I’m not celebrating the stuffy idea of women in a classroom with a tablecloth, not the trite definition of women getting together to gab over quilt frames, but the full measure of power for good in the women of the Church.

Every year, my definition of Relief Society grows. It is about so much more than we usually acknowledge.

If you learned Primary songs, attended​ a Youth Conference, heard a choir, went to Sunday school, listened to prelude music before a meeting, attended Cub Scout den meetings and youth activities, you have been blessed by the sisters of Relief Society. If you were taught by sister missionaries, you have a special window into the heart of Relief Society sisters.

If you have received a meal when a family member has been sick, eaten at a funeral luncheon in an LDS meeting house, had visiting teachers in your home, or received cookies from your Mormon neighbor, you have been touched by the Relief Society.

If you have a collection of Young Women handouts, a baptism towel, or a blanket made by a Relief Society sister, you have evidence of the time women are willing to put into their responsibilities.

If you have served in any ward council, stake presidency, youth committee, Primary calling, Cub Scouting, or have been a Bishop, you have learned from sisters in the Relief Society. If you have children who attend nursery, Primary, or Young Women meetings, you will find the Relief Society sisters in action. If you have a daughter living away from home, you feel comfort knowing she has a Relief Society president who knows her name. If you have a child who doesn’t attend church, you have probably prayed that someone would reach out to them. Sisters try to be the answer to such prayers every day.

It would be difficult to find a member of the Church who has not been touched by the kindness, knowledge, or testimony of a Relief Society sister.* Much kindness also extends to people not of our faith. It would be easy to find faults with individual members of Relief Society. We are full of faults, and one of them is the idea that we will never be able to do enough good. This is a lie that many of us combat daily. It’s impressive how much we can attribute to the women of the Church, however, serving in their callings and personal ministries, in their studies, and in their acts of faith in Christ, who strengthens them.

If you are thinking of a Relief Society sister who has touched your life, write to her or call her and tell her thank you. She probably won’t remember the thing she did that made a difference to you, but what else would you expect from a woman who is doing so much good in the world?

 

*In the time that it took to write this post, a woman from my Relief Society (my visiting teacher) stopped by to give me a plant and share some laughs. Another stopped by with some lip balm to put in a care package for a woman who is living away from home. Richard, who is camping with the Scouts called to say that he didn’t need to worry about dinner plans because a woman from our Relief Society surprised them and brought stew, lemon bars, and eclairs for dinner.

Some truth to replace a lie

So far, my 2017 has been about rededication about my use of time. It’s been about simple things like putting my phone down and keeping it on silent. It’s been longer and deeper study of the Book of Mormon each day. I gave up some screen habits that have been numbing me to what is going on.

Along with my feelings of needing to rededicate my life to good things, it has been a rocky few months at home. We have some family concerns which seemed to justify the creeping notion that it is impossible to be a good wife and mother and be a good Relief Society president at the same time.

Things are getting better now, some simple truths having won out.

On Sunday as I partook of the sacrament, it became clear to me that it’s a lie that it’s impossible to be a good wife and mother and serve in the Church.

The truth is, the Lord just needs my dedication to living commandments and for me to give simple acts of love and he will work miracles. I have seen many.

People feel my love when all I can do is pray for them each day. 

Deep scripture study has given me answers to impossible questions and helped me articulate answers to dilemmas in meetings.

I have felt a heightened awareness of who I need to talk to, sometimes based on a simple expression on a face and no verbal cues.

I have felt the power and influence of good counselors and a secretary to know who to serve each week.

Writing a short note has been a powerful way to communicate with those who are not open to a visit or when I can’t visit. Short notes don’t take much time. They just require love.

The names, direction, and action items that come to my mind when I partake of the sacrament on Sunday are incredibly accurate. When I act on these impressions, I see that God is making me a better wife and mother, minister, and witness.

Next to my relationship with God, being a wife and mother is my most important work. As I improve my relationship to God and family, I feel more confident in my church service. There is no way to measure a person’s influence for good in the lives of others, but I believe it grows as I draw closer to the Lord. I am grateful to a few friends who reassured me of this on Sunday. I feel a new energy to keep trying.

F is for February

F is for February. It is also for:

Failure: I missed some cues and regret it.

Fun: trip to St George, Lego movie

Friendships: broken heart

Fitness: racquetball

Flurries: snow this week

Faith: my lesson topic in Relief Society

Food: turkey and mashed potatoes; oven s’mores

Forgiveness: an essential key to resilience

Funny: joke shop in Payson, UT

Facebook: I’m not looking at it.

Fever: a couple of kids sick

Finally: My Christmas present on back-order arrived.

Forty-six: Richard’s birthday is this weekend.

Fantastic: the boys’ piano pieces

Finger: Paige’s finger is still broken but making progress

Fine: Everything is going to be OK.

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Relief Society presidency

Today when I saw how we were dressed, I knew we couldn’t let the opportunity slip away to take a picture.

A more accurate picture of this presidency would include Charlene laughing, Cindy in gentle, quiet conversation, Kristy making calls and carrying sign-up sheets, and me finding a scripture to match a comment made by someone in the class or asking nosy questions. Another would be sitting around my kitchen table on Tuesday nights going over Compassionate service needs and visiting teaching routes. It would be all of us in Charlene’s car driving around to visits. It would be of us working together, and also separately to reach out to as many sisters as we can each week.

If I could go back in time, I would take more pictures with the people I have served with in presidencies and classes, packs and camps. I know we won’t have this relationship forever, so I am savoring the lessons they teach me and the good times together.