Category: Church

halves

The great cherry tree in my neighbor’s backyard, the focal point of my view out my kitchen window, suffers. One half of its leaves and branches wither, just as its owner did before his passing a few weeks ago. One half is still healthy enough to show green leaves. I have found inspiration in this tree over the years to keep going, enjoy the blossoms and red cherries, and endure long winters. Now, it reminds me of loss, and of the burden of living with half.

As eternal beings who are the offspring of God, something within us cannot be comfortable with halves. The Lord knows this about this, and has a plan to make us whole as we step forward with our fractured halves… of understanding, a partnership, ability, vision, purpose, joy, testimony, or strength.

One way he makes us whole is through the sacrament. Last Sunday, I heard the word “souls” in the sacrament prayer. We come to the sacrament table as souls, two halves of a whole: spirit and body. I learned that the emblems, blessed and sanctified, were for for the benefit of both my body and spirit. I learned that God is involved in the tangibles of toothache just as much as the imperceptible needs of the spirit, homesick for heaven, but not ready to be there.

The gratitude list I should have written

“We are perplexed to see misfortune falling on decent, inoffensive, worthy people….Let me implore the reader to try to believe, if only for the moment, that God, who made these deserving people, may really be right when He thinks their modest prosperity and the happiness of their children are not enough to make them blessed: that all this must fall from them in the end, and if they have not learned to know Him they will be wretched. And therefore he troubles them…” -C.S. Lewis, The Problem of Pain

In a stake meeting last night, we sat in a circle with the leaders of a ward that had been through a lot in the past few years, including recently, the unexpected passing of a member of their bishopric. Our Stake President asked, “What have you learned?” The answers were poignant and it was clear that each person had wrestled with difficult questions and had learned something unique.

One thing our Stake President taught was that we need to show gratitude for trials and the lessons they teach.

Earlier in the week, I wrote in my gratitude journal that I was struggling to find anything to write. Here is a list of things I could have been thankful for this week:

I am thankful to be able to visit my friends with bruises, bandages, arthritic hands, blindness, and pain to learn from them how to endure. I am thankful for their gracious welcome and when they laugh at my jokes. While their suffering makes me sad, I have learned through my visits that connection is the best source of joy in my life.

I am thankful for the 4! barking dogs behind my house because they keep strangers from lurking in our yards. They remind me how to keep friendship separate from annoyances.

I am thankful for the increase of love I feel for someone when they are suffering.

I am thankful for my own physical pain, because it helps me to slow down. It also helps me to appreciate the joy of pain-free days.

I am thankful for the struggles my children are facing because it is evidence that they are growing. I am thankful for specific understanding about a child’s struggles that came while I read the Book of Mormon this week.

I am thankful for a gracious God.

For all the blessings life has brought,
For all the sorrowing hours have taught,
For all we mourn, for all we keep,
The hands we clasp, the loved that sleep…

verse 3 of Thou Gracious God, Whose Mercy Lends, words by Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr., 1869

I have posted this piece before, but I love the words.

Do the Things Happy People Do

Some words that have influenced my thinking in the last few weeks from Elder Jeffrey R. Holland’s talk, “Living After the Manner of Happiness”:

The Prophet Joseph Smith once said that “Happiness is the object and design of our existence; and will be the end thereof, if we pursue the path that leads to it.”

Remember the Prophet Joseph’s choice of language: He spoke of the path that leads to happiness as the key to realizing that goal.

We know one thing for sure; happiness is not easy to find running straight for it. It is usually too elusive, too ephemeral, too subtle. If you haven’t learned it already, you will learn in the years ahead that happiness comes to us when we least expect it, when we are busy doing something else. Happiness is almost always a by-product of some other endeavor.

But my reassurance to you today is that in God’s plan we can do very much to find the happiness we do desire. We can take certain steps, we can form certain habits, we can do certain things that God and history tell us lead to happiness…

In short your best chance for being happy is to do the things that happy people do. Live the way happy people live. Walk the path that happy people walk. and your chances to find joy in unexpected moments, to find peace in unexpected places, to find the help of angels when you didn’t even know they knew you existed, improves exponentially.

How can we know the way? Jesus gave the answer that rings from eternity to all eternity, “I am the way, the truth, and the life…”

Learn as quickly as you can that so much of your happiness is in your hands, not in events or circumstances or fortune or misfortune. [President Abraham Lincoln said,] “folks are usually about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Happiness comes first by what comes into your head a long time before it comes into your hand.

“The Lord requireth the heart and a willing mind,” the revelations say. Too often we have thought it was all up to the heart; it is not. God expects a willing mind in the quest for happiness and peace as well. Put your head into this. All of this takes effort. It is a battle but a battle for happiness that is worth waging.

Kindness and pleasantness and faith-based optimism are characteristics of happy people. From the words of Mother Teresa “Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God’s kindness: kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile.”

Avoid animosity, contention, and anger in your life.

Work at it. Learn to work. Serve diligently. Don’t be idle and mischievous.

I encourage you and applaud you in “pursuing the path that leads to [happiness.] Christ is “the way, the truth, and the life” –that no one comes to true happiness except by Him. I bless you to know that someday, sometimes, somewhere you will have every righteous desire of your heart as you live the gospel of Jesus Christ, thus living “after the manner” that leads to those blessings.

Surprises

One surprise was this subtle, powerful song was the audience favorite at the Pioneer Day concert I attended.

Last Sunday, when I made my trusty plan for the week, I thought my highlight would be a small Primary Presidents’ luncheon for twelve women. It was to be a good, but basic week. But then, invitations came. All week, I have been surprised by the expansion of my plans.

One big change in plans was I was asked to accompany someone in church on the violin, only the music was written for the cello. Richard watched me trying to transpose music by hand and took charge and produced the music I needed using the computer. He intervened quickly, without my asking, and this was so helpful!

Another small surprise was being invited to perform our song at two family gatherings last night after playing the song in church. It was an honor to be invited to these two homes for a few minutes.

Do we know how powerful a home and family feel to someone stepping in? Even though I came from my own cozy evening with family, I felt honored and gifted by the family feeling (the Spirit of the Lord) in each of these homes.

Friends, I am certain that your brand of hospitality and your family, even if it’s one person, have power and goodness. That may be a surprise to you, but I know it is true. Invite someone to your home for lemonade or music or a meal. They will not forget it.

High Adventure 2019

Tim came home from high adventure with MANY beautiful photos of landscapes. He climbs every rock face he sees, so his perspective on hikes is unique. The photo taken high above the camp is typical of him. In the wilderness, you see Timothy as a silhouette against the bright sky as you look up to find him.

Headlines of Consequence

Pioneer Trek photo by Susan Vaughn
Last summer, as an intern for the illuatrator of this book, Paige watched him paint this cover and helped with some background illustration. It is coming out next week.
Strawberry Pinnacles campout (There were other boys there!)

Connection and progress happen in the undercurrents of the to do lists and during transit between appointments. The on stage, public displays are a pinnacle, not the mountain we have climbed. They don’t call attention to themselves, but tiny, daily actions are life. Today I elevate some of these menial and plain things and dress them up as headlines:

Late night conversation keeps parenting goals on track.

Work at home issues forth connection and order.

Meal preparation: a rock in the fortress of home, every day

She waited weeks for a convenient time to ask family to move furniture.

A child is struggling? Pray with him.

Camping gear is well traveled.

Mother makes another trip to the store for gear and marshmallows.

Reconciliation evident in non-verbal ways

He often works from home at night to balance high demands of employer and others.

To avoid criticizing someone, mother pulls weeds outside.

Foregoing personal hobbies and family time, Scoutmaster pushes on.

Despite past failures, additional attempts are planned for family spirituality.

Dead, maggot-filled animal buried early this morning in the backyard

Stranded motorist helped by a kind stranger

She kept paper for taking notes.

Entire family commits to watching together a movie only one person will enjoy.

They sat down together at the table.

They took the time they needed to make a plan.

He changed the station again and again without hearing frustration from the driver.

Strength to do dishes and laundry is a blessing.

After years of being too busy, mother helps organize son’s collections.

He remembered to text his mom to let her know where he was.

She smiled instead of criticized.

He practiced each day.

He let his brother stick an earbud in his ear to hear a funny song.

They kept praying together.

Our Teens

photo by Heather Smith

Here is how our teens look this week. One is a little sick, and another thanked me for not grounding him for the rest of his life. I thought he had been killed in a car accident for about 20 minutes. It turned out that there was no car accident, just a vague message and misunderstanding. I was so frantic to find him that I drove around town looking for emergency vehicles, expecting the worst. One son is taking care of pigeons for a couple of days for our neighbor and friend. One is off to Pioneer Trek this morning.

I asked Daniel this week, “What have you learned about obedience?” He wrote, “The last 1% in our obedience brings the majority of the blessings. We’ve seen the difference between good days and not so good days.”

I asked Timothy what he learned this week. “Don’t park illegally, ever.”

Mark taught us what he learned from studying in John. “Jesus prayed that our temptations wouldn’t be too much for us and that Heavenly Father would send help.”

I have a firm belief in the power of parents to bring down blessings on their children. These are good boys, and I see the enemy stalks them relentlessly. It feels like we are at war with outside influence. We pray, we teach, remind, use a timer, let them go, and we are here when they come back. This warrior mom has earned a purple heart this week. Two things have helped: reading the Book of Mormon in the middle of the night when I couldn’t sleep, and watching a Hallmark Christmas DVD.

I love my sons. They are amazing. It’s a heavy time, nevertheless.

Head shot

Friends, I had to have my portrait taken for display. I cut my hair two times and practiced my smile while snapping selfies over the course of weeks. In the end, the photographer just used the first shot because I began to progressively twitch, blink, and smirk with each successive snap. When he said to smile presidentially, my face collapsed like a hot air balloon without a flame. He let me see my photos and magically altered the one you see. I am not this bright and shiny, ever. Brian Twede is the photographer and he is my friend, a desirable trait for a someone who has editorial power over your image. It has been 24 years since I had a portrait taken of just myself. Brian told me not to wait another quarter of a century to sit for my next portrait.

I might, because this was just exhausting.