Wintering

I read an interesting book by Katherine May recently. It was a memoir of a time of severe health challenges that forced her to “winter” for a while. She used examples from nature to describe the necessity of winters, plus strategies to get through a season of darkness or change. She discovered that there was wisdom and a new life to be found as she faced her winter.

Transformation is the business of winter.

The loose communities that we find in spiritual or religious gatherings were once entirely ordinary to us, but now it seems more radical to join them, a brazen challenge to the strictures of the nuclear family, the tendency to stick within tight friendship groups, the shrinking away from the awe- inspiring. Congregations are elastic, stretching to take in all kinds of people and bringing up unexpected perspectives and insights. We need them now more than ever.

But if happiness is a skill, then sadness is, too. Perhaps through all those years at school, or perhaps through other terrors, we are taught to ignore sadness, to stuff it down into our satchels and pretend it isn’t there. As adults, we often have to learn to hear the clarity of its call. That is wintering. It is the active acceptance of sadness. It is the practice of allowing ourselves to feel it as a need. It is the courage to stare down the worst parts of our experience and to commit to healing them the best we can. Wintering is a moment of intuition, our true needs felt keenly as a knife.

In our winter, a transformation happened. We read and worked and problem- solved and found new solutions. We changed our focus away from pushing through with normal life and towards making a new one. When everything is broken, everything is also up for grabs. That’s the gift of winter: it’s irresistible. Change will happen in its wake, whether we like it or not. We can come out of it wearing a different coat.

Here is another truth about wintering: you’ll find wisdom in your winter, and once it’s over, it’s your responsibility to pass it on. And in return, it’s our responsibility to listen to those who have wintered before us.

All quotes are from Katherine May’s Wintering: the Power of Rest and Retreat during Difficult Times.

I Finished this.

What would you not have accomplished if you had been free?” “Possibly nothing at all; the overflow of my brain would probably, in a state of freedom, have evaporated in a thousand follies; misfortune is needed to bring to light the treasures of the human intellect. Compression is needed to explode gunpowder. Captivity has brought my mental faculties to a focus; and you are well aware that from the collision of clouds electricity is produced— from electricity, lightning, from lightning, illumination.”

“I too, as happens to every man once in his life, have been taken by Satan into the highest mountain in the earth, and when there he showed me all the kingdoms of the world, and as he said before, so said he to me, ‘Child of earth, what wouldst thou have to make thee adore me?’ I reflected long, for a gnawing ambition had long preyed upon me, and then I replied, ‘Listen,— I have always heard of Providence, and yet I have never seen him, or anything that resembles him, or which can make me believe that he exists. I wish to be Providence myself, for I feel that the most beautiful, noblest, most sublime thing in the world, is to recompense and punish.’ Satan bowed his head, and groaned. ‘You mistake,’ he said, ‘Providence does exist, only you have never seen him, because the child of God is as invisible as the parent. You have seen nothing that resembles him, because he works by secret springs, and moves by hidden ways. All I can do for you is to make you one of the agents of that Providence.’ The bargain was concluded. I may sacrifice my soul, but what matters it?” added Monte Cristo. “If the thing were to do again, I would again do it.”

“Count,” said Morrel, “you are the epitome of all human knowledge, and you seem like a being descended from a wiser and more advanced world than ours.” “There is something true in what you say,” said the count, with that smile which made him so handsome; “I have descended from a planet called grief.”

Friends, this was a fun summer read. My dentist recommended it after he realized that I was a reader. You never know where you might find a good book recommendation.

If you decide to take on this mammoth book, I have two suggestions: First, read the Penguin Classics edition, as this translation is great, and second, keep notes on people and families. Begin with the four people who betray Edmund Dantes and their families and friends. Trust that each named character has a part to play throughout.

Children’s Book Illustrator

Little Baby McLaughlin will be lucky to have Paige as a mom for many reasons. She knows how to raise boys, she is patient and gentle, she is a woman of faith, and she is an artist. It is fun for children to watch a parent draw something well. I bet he will ask her to draw all kinds of things and he will be delighted with the results. Lucky baby.

These children’s books were illustrated by Paige and they were privately published, so they are not available for sale. They were my Christmas presents. I am such a fan of Paige’s work. 💕

To see some of her work, you can look at her website, paigemclaughlinart.com.

A glimpse of each day

Monday: My birthday dinner
Tuesday: A practice recital for an upcoming competition. Mark is playing a Chopin Impromptu. ❤️

Wednesday: I finished another one of these.
Thursday: Book Club at our house
Friday: temple trip

We are in a very full season of life with so much going on and so many things I could share, but I can’t seem to sort these things into words.

Wishing you the best,

-A

A book for the desk and a book for the nightstand

This is volume 2. I am working on volume 3, and have loved each one.

My books from this New Testament series are so full of personal marginalia that they are probably ruined for anyone else’s use.

I like to leave helpful notes to my future self in the Table of Contents and throughout the book.

I like having different kinds of books in different places in the house, and save lighter reading for the bedside table. Light fiction at bedtime is a wonderful idea.

My current light reading? 😂

I had forgotten how funny this book is. I laugh every day.

A few quotes I want to remember

Reading this book was like revisiting my old life as a college student, doing field work, collecting insects, identifying trees, and watching for wildlife. My interests in the Bible, theology, zoology, botany, and writing held a party in my mind as I read Annie Dillard’s Pulitzer Prize winning novel. I loved this book.

A few quotes:

I had been my whole life a bell, and never knew it until at that moment I was lifted and struck.

I cannot cause the light; the most I can do is try to put myself in the path of its beam.

Fish gotta swim, and bird gotta fly; insects, it seems, gotta do one horrible thing after another.

The creation is not a study, a roughed-in sketch; it is supremely, meticulously created, created abundantly, extravagantly, and in fine.

I have often noticed that even a few minutes of this self-forgetfulness is tremendously invigorating. I wonder if we do not waste most of our energy by spending every waking minute saying hello to ourselves.

I am buoyed by a calm and effortless longing, an angled pitch of the will, like the set of the wings of the monarch which climbed the hill by falling still.

Annie Dillard, Pilgrim at Tinker Creek

2022 Through the Lens of Books

This list is a personal thing for me to share, as these books were with me through all that I experienced this year. Whether I liked a book or not, I gained something from each. I will forever associate certain books with the landmarks of my year, big and small.

  • The Writing Life by Annie Dillard (beautiful writing)
  • On Moving by Louise DeSalvo (I didn’t enjoy most of this book, but the writing about the author saying goodbye to her house at the end was just right.)
  • Tattoos on the Heart by Greg Boyle (I loved this. “Pure religion” in action.)
  • Where the Crawdads Sing by Delia Owens (Hated the ending.)
  • How to Meditate by Pema Chödrön (I am glad I read it, but I have no idea what I was reading a lot of the time.)
  • Beloved by Toni Morrison
  • Where’d You Go, Bernadette by Maria Semple (Meh.)
  • Saints, volume 2: No Unhallowed Hand (The vast scope of this book is staggering, and it took me a long time to read it. When I wasn’t grieving over the events, I was energized by the personal accounts of miracles, dreams, and visions. There is a lot in here, and I kept notes on the people, as I learned I had to do with the first volume of Saints.)
  • The Nature of Fragile Things by Susan Meissner (It was a page-turner.)
  • When Crickets Cry by Charles Martin (Good.)
  • Irreversible Damage: the Transgender Craze Seducing our Daughters by Abigail Shrier
  • The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett (So much better to read as an adult.)
  • Cranford by Elizabeth Gaskell (I love this author, and this was my second reading of this book.)
  • Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoyevsky (So much to say about themes, but the piece I needed was its commentary about how a true Christian helps others. I collected many quotes to live by.)
  • A Lion and a Lamb by Rand H. Packer (This was inspiring. This couple served a twenty-four year mission at the Smith farm in Palmyra, NY to establish good will with the community, 1915-1939. This couple is also depicted in the film, The Fighting Preacher.)
  • On Juneteenth by Annette Gordon-Reed (I liked this.)
  • Whistling Past the Graveyard by Susan Crandall (I did not like the narrator and was dissatisfied with the book, but could not stop reading.)
  • William Tyndale, a Biography by David Daniell (This was a scholarly, academic, detailed analysis of Tyndale’s translation work on the Bible and his impact on religion and the English language. Five hundred years later, we remain familiar with his words, whether we are religious or not. This book was an accomplishment for me to finish.)
  • Even This by Emily Belle Freeman (I read this because I like her insights into Bible stories and rethinking our relationship with God. This was a nice book.)
  • The Death of Ivan Ilych by Leo Tolstoy (Good.)
  • Crossings by Melissa Wei-Tsing Inouye (This is a collection of essays and letters about living as a Latter-day Saint woman, scholar, cancer patient, and mother. Good.)
  • My War by Andy Rooney (Good.)
  • Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen
  • The Book of Mormon, Another Testament of Jesus Christ ♥️
  • The Worst Hard Time by Timothy Egan (There is no happy ending here, just a cautionary tale about environmental destruction and greed that led to Dust Bowl conditions in the 1930s. The description of the great dust storm on Black Sunday was really well written.)
  • Persuasion by Jane Austen (A familiar friend)
  • A Useful Woman by Darcie Wilde (fluff)
  • Pachinko by Min Jin Lee (Powerful story)
  • Everybody, Always by Bob Goff (It read like too much self-promotion to me.)
  • Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen (I enjoyed this more than ever this time.)
  • Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen 
  • Bomb by Steve Sheinkin (fascinating)
  • The Old Testament ❤️
  • Mansfield Park by Jane Austen 
  • The Four Agreements by N Miguel Ruiz (Okay)
  • Emma by Jane Austen 
  • The Gift of the Magi by O Henry (a favorite)

Netflix’s Persuasion was really, really bad.

If you were unfortunate enough to watch Netflix’s 2022 adaptation of Jane Austen’s Persuasion, I recommend the following:

  1. Read the actual novel. This will give you the most thorough reset.
  2. Watch the 1995 BBC version of Persuasion for the most faithful version of Captain Wentworth’s spirited character.
  3. Watch the 2007 BBC version to get the most faithful version of Anne, an introverted character you come to know by her thoughts more than her conversation. (Netflix, what you did to the character of Anne Elliot is inexcusable.)

I have completed steps 1-2 and I am beginning step 3 while I tackle a stack of ironing.

My War

I keep a running book list on this blog (see the sidebar), mostly for me. I realize I am not exceptional in my reading, and I tend to forget titles, so the list is a good reminder of where I have been. If you’re on a mobile device, you can find my book lists in the drop-down menu.

I have read a lot of good things this year, and enjoy talking about books. I don’t know many people with a similar taste in books, and hope that if you find something that you enjoy from one of my lists that you will let me know.

I haven’t finished this book in the picture, but I can recommend it. Three words to describe it are Poignant, Real, and Snarky (when necessary).