“I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me… for if they humble themselves before me and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.” (Ether 12:27)
One of my weaknesses is that I deal with anxiety, especially in a crowd. I have been praying to know what I can do to become stronger. A few months ago, I was asked to play violin in church several times and I was invited to be in the Broadway review.
I almost backed out of playing the violin in church because of my fears. It’s hard enough to go to church and sit in the crowd, let alone play the violin for them. Then I realized that perhaps these invitations were an answer to my prayers. Maybe I needed to exercise myself a little bit more to regain my confidence. Maybe I needed to be known by a few more people so I didn’t feel so anxious at church.
“My dear young sisters, you need to know that you will experience your own adversity. None is exempt. You will suffer, be tempted, and make mistakes. You will learn [that] through overcoming challenges come growth and strength.
“It is your reaction to adversity, not the adversity itself, that determines how your life’s story will develop.” (Dieter F. Uchtdorf, “Your Happily Ever After,” Ensign, May 2010, 124-27)
My experiences playing violin in sacrament meetings and the musical were not easy. These were acts of faith that required everything that I could give. Richard helped me because he was my accompanist. My friends were a help. Mark prayed for me every time I got up to play. I hoped that the music would heal someone.
Here is a picture of me that someone took backstage at the musical last night. After all of the rehearsals and the new friendships gained through my experiences there, I didn’t feel nearly as much fear as I do in church.
“God whispers in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but he shouts in our pains; it is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.” C.S. Lewis
“If thou art called to pass through tribulation…know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good.” (D&C 122:5,7)
“He delivereth and he rescueth, and he worketh signs and wonders in heaven an in earth, who hath delivered Daniel from the power of the lions.” (Daniel 6:27)
Mark has not been healthy all month. A few days ago, he broke out in hives all over his body. We don’t know what caused it. It could be a reaction to an antibiotic or just an over-the-top immune response to a virus. He was miserable. It was scary. It was exhausting. We were blessed to find a good doctor. We feel blessed that he has responded to medication and he’s not covered in hives anymore.
“Though it may seem that you are alone, angels attend you. Though you may feel that no one can understand… our Savior, Jesus Christ understands… you are not alone.” (Dieter F. Uchtdorf, “Your Happily Ever After,” Ensign, May 2010, 124-27)
We received some thank you notes this week. For me, the written word is the best gift. This has been a difficult week. I received kind notes almost every day this week, and these lifted me. These people were a few of my angels as they took time to write something.
From one of Paige’s teachers:
Usually a note from a teacher is bad news…not so in this case. I just wanted to drop you a quick note to let you know how nice it is to have Paige in [class]. She is a conscientious student who is consistently at the top of the class. Her behavior in class is excellent, which is very much appreciated. Parents play an important role in their student’s success. Thanks for supporting her in her academic endeavors.
From Mark’s teacher:
Dear Angela, I am so sorry Mark is having this problem. (There was more, but it is personal.)
From the pharmacist, who went to war with the insurance company for me so we could get a medication:
I worked my magic. Have a nice weekend! After I picked up the medication, she said, “Now go treat yourself to something nice.”
From a new friend:
What an angel you are! Thank you for … It really meant a lot to me.
Love your friend,
From ward members:
…You have so much to offer…
and
…The arrangement was lovely and was played faultlessly. Thanks for sharing your talents…
From my sister:
Break a leg tonight! ( or maybe not since you will be on a roof…) I hope you are having a marvelous time!
There were many people who reached out in concern, built us up, prayed for us, and helped us through this big week. I believe there were unseen angels there to help, too.
I believe in angels, miracles, and that faith requires work. Through tough experiences, I learn that that we are loved by our Heavenly Father.
Tomorrow is our 18th anniversary. We went out to dinner last night to celebrate and Richard bought me roses.
Paige is working on a painting this weekend at home. It’s from a photograph taken at Pines Ranch when the poppies were in bloom. The little boys and their friends have been avid observers. When she started painting the poppies, celebrations ensued for Mark. One of Timothy’s friends said to me, “Your daughter is a REAL artist.”
