Category: Adventurous kids

Past, Present, Future

Tiny art by Paige for my miniature museum, featuring Tim as a missionary in Micronesia.

Being the planner that I am, I get lost in future scenarios really easily. I love to sit down with my day planner and organize everything. Sometimes I have to limit how long I allow myself to live in the future because hello, there are people here, right now, that could use some attention.

I also have a sentimental side that collects images and artifacts from every event in our lives. I find that when I am most stressed, it is my memories that will ground me. Favorite escape memories for me often involve scenes from my childhood: a still, black, icy night walking home from a tithing settlement with my family; feeling static shocks at my great-grandmother’s house from her shag carpet while eating her pink wintergreen lozenges; the leathery, then papery crunch of autumn leaves under my feet as I walked home from elementary school on a golden afternoon. The past is a friend when I am a bag of nerves.

The present is probably the least easy place for me to inhabit. But this week that is where I have tried to live. We spent time with Tim and Mark last Friday, a last hurrah together before the mission. I didn’t take pictures, just mental ones. I have tried to be open to what the last week of regular life has brought to us. I watched Tim and Elder Josh Marz together in our front yard, talking and smiling on Josh’s last P-day before flying to his mission. I watched some shows with Mark who has a cold. I walked around a store and explored the Christmas aisles instead of just my usual in-and-out beeline to the things on my list.

We gather tomorrow for an outdoor goodbye party for Tim. On Sunday, he will speak in church and be set apart as a missionary. All the planning and work makes the present more enjoyable. My word of the month is SHINE. We’re ready.

In the Pit

Mark just finished a very busy few weeks working on the high school musical. It was a show called Good News, which was just happy. This was Mark’s first experience playing in the pit and he loved it. I am thankful for his band teacher who didn’t ask if he wanted to be in the musical, but handed him the music and said he had been drafted. There is a chance that Mark might have said no if the teacher had just invited him, and he never would have known the fun of pit life.

Refrigerator Gallery

I look at the current collection of photos on the refrigerator and think how much has happened since the last time I replenished this casual little photo gallery. 2021 has been a big year. A milestone year. And now the summer of 2021 is gone. I have so many photos that are refrigerator-worthy this year and it’s a little daunting to decide how to use them all.

Beyond the refrigerator gallery and a few framed photos around the house, I make a photo album each year. In the early days my albums were scrapbooks, but eventually I embraced professionally printed photo books, which are a much better choice for us. I try to label everything with dates and places and people because these are the details of our lives that I don’t want to forget. I have learned to include photos of the mundane things, not just milestones in our photo books.

This Labor Day weekend, I plan to refresh the photos on the refrigerator to embrace the new season, our last season with Tim for a long time. And in a few months, we’ll have photos of scenes from the South Pacific to brighten the space. My refrigerator photo gallery is a reminder of where we have been, and as I update the photos, it reminds me that there are always exciting things ahead to take the place of our current milestones. We are not meant to stay in place.

Supper

Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and I will sup with him, and he with me.

Revelation 3:20, KJV

I read this today in a list of scriptures about the Lord making appearances to people. What stood out to me is what the Lord chooses to do with those who hear him and invite him into their lives: He sups with them. The meal represents the great blessing of having companionship with God and receiving his loving support. I think it conveys feelings of comfort, rest, and fulfillment.

I have been thinking of what the pandemic has brought to us. One blessing is that we have had more time with all of our children. Did I always use the time well? No, I have regrets, but I don’t regret that I elevated Sunday dinners and other meals. Early in the pandemic, I prayed to know how to face the challenge, and one thing that came to my mind was to make the most of family time, and to create celebrations with our meals together.

I have used fine dishes for our Sunday dinners, with cloth napkins, goblets, chargers, good tablecloths, and our best recipes. I started a written record of which children came and what we talked about. I can’t think of a more bonding experience than these meals have been during this challenging time.

We said goodbye to Daniel last weekend as he headed back to college. He doesn’t live far away, but it’s far enough that we won’t see him every day, every week, and maybe miss a month now and then. Knowing there is one less person at the table is one of the hardest parts of saying goodbye each fall.

Tim will leave us soon to begin his mission, and these meals with him mean more and more to me, as I know they are numbered. Tim received the Melchizedek priesthood on Sunday, and I was invited to share my thoughts at the conclusion of his ordination and blessing. I didn’t have to think of something profound, I just reminded him of something we had talked about at last Sunday’s dinner table. This table has become a truly sacred place for our family.

And then there was one

10th grade

One son in high school means that I am going to be driving him to school most of the year. Lucky me, I really like doing that. Mark seems fine to be off to school again. He likes his time with friends and his excited energy made for a companionable and talkative Mark last night after dinner. We all gathered (Richard, Angela, Paige, Michael, Daniel, McKenna, Timothy, and Mark) for a meal and to view the photos and videos of our trip. We saw around 15 waterfalls, but based on the number of photos, it probably seemed more like 300 to those who weren’t on the trip, but politely listened to us talk about our adventures. Our dinner question was, “What did you learn last week?” The answers were really good.

With travel, a camp, and a family reunion during the last month, I am counting it a win that we are just one (long) section behind in the Come Follow Me study schedule. School forces a routine, so better days are ahead for focused effort on spiritual things.

Tim’s mission shopping list is so much shorter than Daniel’s. He won’t even need a suit, and certainly not winter gear. I told myself I wouldn’t make the same mistakes I made with Daniel when I was shopping for mission gear. Since the list is different, I will certainly make new mistakes this time. I am not really firm in the reality of this mission yet. This time of year I tend to go through the mechanics of school prep and season change in a fog. Change is challenging, and I react by retreating into my thoughts that have nothing to do with the life that is calling me to action. Only writing seems to bring me back to reality.

This week is about reading less news and doing more family history work instead. I will print the mission to-do list so I can make a schedule for getting it accomplished, and I will prepare for training two groups of Primary leaders and teachers. Here we go.