Angela – Page 238 – Letters from Home

The Value of Imperfection

oil painting progress

wheel oil painting

I painted this in January, using the Pima Community College catalog cover as my guide. I could never find the name of the photographer.

I see more flaws in my work every day, but I will continue to display it proudly in my house.

If I had never tried this painting, I wouldn’t ‘t have learned to appreciate the symmetry of a wheel; the complexity of color; I wouldn’t have had time to ponder the aging of the wood, the shadows and reflections of light; I wouldn’t have accepted my own inability to create a perfect hub to hold it all together. I learned about focal point, perspective, and rust. I thought about endless things during this project. It was both a vacation and an intense study, a pleasure and a frustration all at once.

Having seriously considered my reasons for blogging: Connection to family and friends, creative outlet, family record, homeschool life revealed, etc, I have decided it’s worth it for now for me to share. If I hadn’t been blogging these past few months, I wouldn’t have noticed so many blessings in my life.

So, a blog is not a perfect medium, any more than I am a master at working oil paints. But it’s a tool I use to discover and relate. And even if my words inadequate and my feelings about the blogging world vacillate, I think sharing is better than keeping things to myself. And hopefully in the process, we all learn something.

It’s not easy being Three, by Mark

2008-10-24 Park 07

I woke up and ran outside, excited to see the mushroom in the grass that we found yesterday. Oh, no! someone had smashed it! I cried and ran to Mom’s room where she was reading. I could hardly tell my story, I was so upset. Mom poured me some Cheerios and told me another mushroom will grow in the grass someday.

An hour later, I asked, “Should we plant the mushroom pieces so it will grow into a new mushroom?” “Plants need sun and water. We can pour the water!”

Then Mom told me something about spores and that mushrooms are fungi, not plants.(Just when I think I’ve got things figured out, my world turns upside down.)

Later, we were reading scriptures. I was so bored. I asked, “Why do we have to read scriptures every day?” Mom said, “Because the prophet said so.” Then she started singing, Follow the Prophet and so I decided to sing with everybody. When the song was over, they started reading scriptures AGAIN! So I said, “I want to sing more songs!” After a while, we sang again; any song I wanted. I chose Popcorn Popping, Jingle Bells, and Little Drummer Boy! I love that rum-pum- pum- pum song.

I played outside, ate pancakes for lunch, and played outside some more. Then I dressed up like a Cub Scout. Daniel let me wear all of his stuff. I looked good!

Mark in Scout uniform 001

I had to go with Mom and the kids to piano lessons. I was so tired. I tried to fall asleep in the car, but it didn’t work. I was so sad about everything. My Bobby doll was missing. My shirt was dirty. Mom found my Bobby and put my cactus shirt on me.

Later, after piano lessons were over, Mom bought me some orange tic-tacs and that made me happy.

Tonight at the church a girl found me in the hallway and asked, “What are you doing?”I said, “I’m waiting to go to the beach… Have you ever been to the beach?.. Have you ever slept on a crab?” She just giggled and walked back to mutual to tell her friends what I said to her.

Life can be so confusing. And what in the world is August? Mom keeps saying I have to wait until August to go to the beach.

Reminisce part two: Being Present

Flower watercolor by Paige Ross

Resolved: I will include more of our art on this blog.

I went visiting teaching today, which means I sat in the homes of two amazing women from church and checked up on how they are doing, shared a spiritual thought, and sat back and learned from them.

One friend told me about her goal to be more “present” instead of distracted during her activities in her work and with her children and husband. What a great goal! She noted that many of us are addicted to multi-tasking, to the detriment of all we try to do. If we were more “present” in our work and relationships, we would find more success.

I thought about this idea all day long. As a mother, I have to multi-task some things. I can’t tell my children to “take a number” all the time. However, I can eliminate some of the non-essential, addictive things that make me less than “present” like checking e-mails first thing in the morning instead of working on my primary goals for the day, or trying to make lists while I play trains with Mark (of which I am guilty today).

Which reminds me of my Reminisce post from Sunday. Another reason I (and so many others) love the past is because these were simpler times. So here’s a paradox: to rekindle some of the simplicity of the past… (wait for it) we need to be more “present” today. (ba da boom!)

Global Warming in Arizona

“Everybody is always talking about global warming, but in Arizona we don’t even notice any difference.” -Daniel, age 9

Reminisce with me

Confession: I read Reminisce magazine. Cover to cover every time. I have to pace myself so I don’t engulf it all at once. Sometimes I cheat and read from the back… just the small articles, so it doesn’t seem like I’m reading ahead.

Which leads me to ask, “Of what value is my craze for the past?” and, “From what source does this interest come?”

As to the value, I guess my nostalgia is part of my character. It’s part of who I am. I celebrate small moments. I appreciate the details of people’s lives. In addition, my sweet memories are a comfort to me.

During the times when I was sick and in pain and during the 3 summers punctuated by surgeries, I retreated to some of those memories and places from my past to get through it all.

I think I have always enjoyed the company of my grandparents because I was naturally interested in their past. I truly appreciate the deep friendship I have with my Grandma Ruth. She is the one who surprised me with a subscription to this magazine. I have 30 years worth of letters from her. Once she called me when I was in a bed in the emergency room because she couldn’t stop thinking about me. We tend to gravitate toward each other in our thoughts until one of us decides to just pick up the phone and see what’s going on. Our connection is a blessing to me.

Which leads me to the answer to the next question, “From what source does this interest come?” In truth, the deeper yearning that I have is not for the details of the past, but for the people. And love is a gift of God, and a desire to bless our ancestors is still another gift. Malachi promised in the last days that “[Elijah] shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers” so the earth would not be cursed. This probably means many things, but to me, life is much sweeter, knowing the sacrifices made by my ancestors so I can live as I do. It also helps me want to be more diligent in my temple attendance so I can be a blessing to them.

Thanks for stopping by. And if during all my ramblings you have had a chance to reminisce on something happy, good for you! And extra points if you remember buying Smarties lollipops from the pharmacy up the street or a candy shop.

Jam

I made jam today. It tastes so good and it makes my family happy.

Slugger

Daniel played his last baseball game last night and got two hits. One was a triple which brought 3 guys home. During warm-up, he completely destroyed this ball when he hit it. He played shortstop most of the time during the tournament because he is a quick thinker and knows where to get the ball to make the play.

Richard has worked hard with Daniel this season, taking him to the batting cages, practices, and games. It’s been a busy few months for these guys.

Today I will take the folding chairs out of the trunk of the van where they have been living for the past 3 months and we’ll have some more “home” time in the evenings, which is a good thing.

Scouting

I spent the day running errands for a Stake Scout Camp. Being married to someone involved with Scouting is a big job.

The kids manage to find new treasures at the Scout office every time we go there. Today’s treasure was neon orange plastic boondoggle string. We didn’t buy it, but visions of many orange creations danced in Timothy’s head, entertaining him while I looked for merit badge stuff.

Norman Rockwell truly captured the vision and spirit of Scouting in his paintings. His art is moving to me.

Sleep sweet, nor fret

children-ring-around-roses

Today we entertained lots of neighborhood kids at our house. Late in the afternoon, my next door neighbor, Maria brought me some lemonade. We sat in my living room and dressed Barbies with the kids.

The day was full of small blessings like that. It’s remembering these comfortable blessings that makes all the difference when I look back over my day, which was truly a mixture of successes and shortcomings, good and bad news. I’m wrapped in a soft shawl and I feel peaceful.

I have loved this poem for years. I just discovered it is part of the Association of Unity Churches Home Blessing. I couldn’t find the author’s name. It matches my mood tonight.

My heart, The sun hath set.
Night paths With dew are wet.
Sleep comes Without regret;
Stars rise When sun is set.
All’s well. God loves thee yet,
Heart, smile, Sleep sweet, nor fret.

Kid Town

I held a lot of nieces and nephews this past weekend. This is Alex, daughter of Russ and Nancy.

I went up to Provo for half a day so I could hold Baby Charlotte on her blessing day.
I held Ammon and enjoyed his cheery face in church. The little Deacon boy passing the sacrament tried to be serious, but couldn’t help but smile back at Ammon’s little round face.
Solomon would only give me a high-five, but showed me his gum about 100 times.
Ruby did the actions with me as I sang Wise Man and Foolish Man in her ear during church.
Kaitlyn played with me when I pulled out my Strawberry Shortcake dolls.
Anna-who-smiles wore a bright green dress and let me hold her right away.
Isaac-and-Spencer still aren’t fans of old Angie, so I gave them a toy hamster in a ball to help in that relationship.
I met the spouses of a niece and nephew, too, on this trip, Josh and Andrea.
I learned that my nephew Richard is a great runner; that Rachel enjoys singing, and loved seeing Leslie’s beautiful hair and grown-up look.

Timothy lost his second front tooth. Here he is posing with Grandpa Ross.

My sons the engineers. Daniel packed his plastic thread so he could make a suspension bridge when he got to Grandma Ross’s house.

Grandma’s house is a place where Mark becomes an entertainer.