Author: Angela

I write so my family will always have letters from home.

Christmas details

The greeting

cards have all been sent,

The Christmas rush is through…

(Are you singing that Carpenters song yet?)

We’ve spent the past few days finishing up Christmas details.

We even made some goodies for the neighbors, despite my plans to skip it.

When you hear the call to bake, you’ve got to bake; homemade toffee is always a good idea.

I entered the world of cellophane wrapping and I’m never going back. It’s the lovely detail I’ve been missing.

Each year we make a list of things we want to do to celebrate Christmas. Here’s an excerpt from our list:

Go caroling

View Christmas lights

Watch It’s A Wonderful Life

Decorate small gingerbread houses

Finish reading The Book of Mormon by Dec 31st.

Watch Scrooge with Alastair Sim, hiding from scary parts.

Make the Annual Christmas Video; record piano performances & dances.

Watch the Mormon Tabernacle Choir and Kings Singers concert (especially Oh Holy Night)

eggnog

eggnog

chocolate

 

Humble gifts

The Christmas cards are not out yet and I will tell you why. I don’t like my hair in the photograph. It’s debilitating perfectionism like this that keeps me quiet, leaving people to think I am aloof or distant or a mute. Perfectionism is the reason I sometimes don’t give the gifts I have made to the people I love. Perfectionism and accompanying fatigue are the reasons I don’t throw more parties or make Christmas goody plates for the neighbors. My perfectionism has stalled the Annual Christmas Video this year. I can’t find the perfect song.

I’ve never been able to fall into the Christmas routine that so many families have: they get their Christmas cards out early; they have a current family portrait on the wall; they shop for Christmas in October. Immediate needs tend to push my Christmas planning and shopping to December.

However, the true Christmas meaning is wrapped in grace. My softest memories and most meaningful times have nothing to do with a perfect photo or the cutest card. The best gift offered to us presented himself in a manger, and the humility and imperfection of the scene reminds me that love doesn’t require perfect presentation. Humble offerings are sometimes the most meaningful.

I took some of my Young Women out for hot chocolate last night.  We talked for hours as the rain fell outside the little shop. We told one another about the favorite gifts we have given and received. The gifts the girls remembered were not expensive. We laughed and enjoyed the memories together of a father placing his gift on the front door of their home (where it remains) because he loved it so much; of a doll given to one of the girls by her brother and father, now in tatters, still sitting in her room. Last night will always be a special memory for me and I did it with messy hair, drove everyone in a cluttered van, and presented no wrapped gifts–just my time and a little hot chocolate.

I’ll get my cards out (I LOVE receiving Christmas cards!) and Richard will make an incredible Annual Christmas Video. I won’t make goody plates, but when I make a good batch of something, I’ll run some next door or across the street. I’ll never shake all of my perfectionist tendencies or my desire to just stay home away from the frantic scenes. But I hope you smile when you think of a time spent together with us this year, even if it’s just been through the blog. I share because I love you.

 

A few snapshots of an unforgettable evening

 


Surrounded by friends, we watched Paige’s dance studio perform The Nutcracker this weekend. I decided that it’s better to watch her when I’m not looking through a camera, so I don’t have many photos, and I have no photos of three of her numbers. I lived the experience instead of trying to preserve it and share it, because ballet is very emotional and best enjoyed live.

 

 

We loved the snowflakes.

Paige closed the first act with this pose and snow falling all around her. The show could have ended there because it was so beautiful.

Richard and Daniel were on the technical crew this year. Daniel manned the spotlight and Richard filmed the performance.

Sarah and Bryan were able to come. It’s nice to have family to cheer you on.

Making up for lost opportunities

In 2010, we went on FOUR vacations. This year we have had ONE vacation.

Timothy’s last Wolf requirement was to visit someplace historical or important in the community. I couldn’t believe it. Since he turned 8, we haven’t taken part in ONE of a series of ubiquitous opportunities in every child’s life to visit a police or fire station, town hall, or historical site.

So at the end of 2011, we’re trying to make up for it. Here are some photos of our trip to Golf -n- Stuff.

Daniel was on a winter camp out with the Scouts and Paige decided she’d rather stay home and do chemistry and math homework.

Sigh. Childhood ends too soon.

Who is more excited, Richard or Mark?

Watch out for my son. I’ve decided to rename him Butch because he’s so tough.

A water fight in 40 degree temperatures?

Oh, why not?!

Exhale

Yesterday I spoke in Stake Conference.  Giving a talk is something I like to do, and for some reason my panicky personality doesn’t melt down when I speak. I agonized quite a bit over what to say and lost some sleep, but just in time, and with a lot of prayer, the words came.

Someone told me on Saturday that she didn’t think I had a voice. I thought of her as I spoke to all those people and I felt a little vindicated. Of course I have a voice. This introvert actually has a lot of things to say and I felt grateful for the opportunity to speak.

For everyone, Monday means facing the things that were neglected over the weekend. And with all the talk preparation, there are a lot of neglected tasks at my house. I need to focus on my breathing, feed my family, and then get back to work.

 

 

White Dove of the Desert

 

The other day I packed a picnic lunch and we traveled 15 minutes up the freeway to the Mission San Xavier del Bac, the White Dove of the Desert. When you drive along the freeway, it’s hard to miss this striking white building with stone carvings. Built in the 1700’s, it is still used today for Mass. It’s incredibly ornate inside. Mark liked all the gold. I liked the history, art, and architecture. What’s the oldest structure you have visited in the United States? This is the oldest one for us.

Wolf!

Timothy received his Wolf badge last night at Pack Meeting!

I got a mother’s pin. I bought a ribbon on which the boys can place their pins. It is a good idea.

When the Cubmaster tells you to hug your mom, you hug your mom.

Mark was very proud and ran up to give him a hug, too.

A telephoto lens

There is a movement I have read about recently where women try to take more pictures of themselves interacting with their children. These women set up a tripod and a remote, stand in front of a mirror, or perform other acrobatics to see that there are photos of themselves in the act of mothering. I’m not up to that. However, Richard caught this private moment with his telephoto lens the other day and it reminded me again of how much I love being a mom.