Attending to the right things

I’ve been reading about unreasonable expectations. These are the kind of expectations which can carry a person to extremes in their ideology, drain a person of energy, and create an idea of futility.

 

I try to fight unreasonable expectations, but sometimes they creep in. There is too much to do each day, so I’ve been seeking help in prayer to focus on priorities. Sometimes I fail at this. This weekend was a “fulfilling external expectations weekend” and it seemed like the more that I did, the more that other fires would spring up for me to put out.

 

I felt my patience and endurance spiral into a nosedive of misspoken words and crash on my bedroom chair at 10:00 at night with the thought, “I’m not succeeding.”

I went to bed. Today I understand better what I let myself do. In my good intentions, my desire to be exact, I marched after the banner of a person instead of the quiet voice that whispers, “Take My yoke upon you.”

Someday when all my thoughts, actions, and intentions are sifted and sorted, it will only matter how often I acted on God’s expectations. I just need to stay focused on what He expects of me, and not take so much upon myself, even if the words of others apparently have some power over my heart.

I didn’t think that I was one of those people who sought the approval of others, but I think that I am, and this is the source of my problem.

Here’s a quote I read in a Conference talk that I found applied to my situation:

“There are so many ‘shoulds’ and ‘should nots’ that merely keeping track of them can be a challenge. Sometimes, well-meaning amplifications of divine principles–many coming from uninspired sources–complicate matters further, diluting the purity of divine truth with man-made addenda. One person’s good idea–something that may work for him or her–takes root and becomes an expectation. And gradually, eternal principles can get lost within the labyrinth of ‘good ideas’

“This was one of the Savior’s criticisms of the religious ‘experts’ of His day, whom He chastised for attending to the hundreds of minor details of the law while neglecting the weightier matters.

“So how how do we stay aligned with those weightier matters?

“…When asked to name the greatest commandment, He did not hesitate. ‘Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind,’ He said. ‘This is the first and great commandment.’ Coupled with the second great commandment–to love our neighbor as ourselves–we have a compass that provides direction for not only for our lives but also for the Lord’s Church on both sides of the veil.”

(By President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, of course, Ensign, November 2009)

 

Sabino Canyon

Richard decided he wanted us to visit Sabino Canyon this week. We had to wait for the weather to cooperate, but we finally made it today.

We bought tram tickets to give us a ride to the top of the canyon and waited for our turn.

At the top of the canyon we tried hiking a trail but it was so dry and hot and the creek was calling to us, so we decided to get our feet wet instead.

Daniel found a waterfall to climb.

There were superb skipping rocks and smooth water to test your skipping skills.

Paige counted over 20 kinds of wildflowers in bloom. It was a warmer day than we expected, but the creek made it all better.

Outdoor movie night

Sometimes people have to correct me because I confuse the date. I live my life thinking it’s the following day because I’m always anticipating something. I noticed this phenomenon when I began making lesson plans as a student teacher. I still have that problem because I’m always reading the “next book” on our list. Conversely, I spend a lot of time grading, which is like living the previous day over again.

Sometimes it’s a good idea to live in the moment, though, which is what I have been doing this week for Spring Break. It’s involved a lot of napping. Planning for an upcoming Pioneer Trek (Richard and I are going), doing Young Women President things, and teaching 4 grade levels have made my to-do lists grow very long.

Last night was the culmination of a lot of preparation. Since it was Spring Break, we decided to host an outdoor movie night for the church youth in our back yard. We didn’t think many people would come, but wow, did they come! We made popcorn in a movie-style popcorn maker, we set up a screen and a projector and a big speaker. We had the youth play get-to-know you games between the short films to earn points to “buy”  popcorn and hot chocolate.

It was fun. I wonder what my neighbors thought of the prayers offered through a microphone. My next door neighbor sent her daughter over to enjoy the party. It was a good crowd.

Piano Ensemble 2012

We had three performers at the Piano Ensemble concert at Centennial Hall last night and I just felt proud to be related to them.

This was Timothy’s first year. Here he is on stage ready to take a bow.

Here is Daniel performing his piece, Guantanamera.

The above photo indulges my idea of how the world should view our children.

Here is Paige’s piano number and her little head.

Fashion is a big part of the evening. I enjoy seeing the pretty dresses each year.

Paige was just breathtaking and her piano ensemble number was, too.

Composers

The study of music is something I leave to our expert piano teacher because she can do a better job than I can. However, I have found a few supplements which have enriched our history, language, and music studies.

My friend bought this book of composers in Europe, but I’m sure it’s not exclusive. It groups musicians by period and discusses their country of origin, family life, etc. It’s a good little reference book. As we study history I like to focus on individuals, not just events. Learning about composers is a nice way to talk about culture, history, and language. This month we are focusing on German composers for a presentation the kids will give at the library.

These books on CD are popular with the kids, especially Daniel. There is a narration of the composer’s life and excerpts from his works throughout. These are an hour long and they are easy history lessons. They are also a fun introduction to the works of the great composers. I don’t know, but there is something right about a child getting excited when he hears a famous symphony on the radio and says, “I know that song!”

Grieg, Schumann, Sousa, and Chopin are the favorites from this series.

Our kids enter a piano composition contest each year. It’s the best exercise in music theory that I know. I love hearing what they write. Paige wrote a waltz and sarabande this year. Daniel wrote a theme and variations. Timothy wrote an A-B-A theme. We get the results from the judges this week.

Now, if I can just commission a bust made of each of my own little composers, my shelf would be complete.

How to make a Phone Call

If I could teach the world something today, it would be a lesson in manners.

Let’s begin now.

When you call someone (me) on the phone, please introduce yourself before jumping into your reason for calling. And if you introduce yourself and you aren’t a close associate and have only met me one time, you may want to remind me about that so I know to whom I am speaking. If you have several things to share with me, please ask if I have 5 to 10 minutes to talk.

If I have never met you, it’s a good idea to be especially polite because you only get one chance to… you know, make a first impression. For instance, you should avoid listing grievances right away, especially if I have made it clear that I was unaware of the situation over which you’ve gotten yourself into a fluff.

If I ask a question, please do not belittle the question or become defensive. Just answer the question in a polite voice. If you don’t know the answer, please say, “I don’t know, but let me get back with you about it.”

Please give me the benefit of the doubt and be kind. You don’t have to ask about my life, but don’t be so abrupt that I wonder if you’re angry that I asked you a question.

Remember, it is an act of trust to ask a question. If you belittle me with your tone (not just your words), you break a trust.

You don’t have to be abrupt to be effective. You don’t have to be brisk to show that you are in charge. I find that leadership requires quite a bit of flexibility and love. Don’t forget that the person you are calling is just as amazing as you, and if you took the time to appreciate that, your life would be enhanced by the association.

Remember that no one is right all of the time, even you, and it’s okay to be human. Don’t hide behind a barking, abrupt mode of speech. If you think that being abrupt is just the way you are, you will need to hide it with your tone of voice and count to ten more often.

Being polite is not about you. It’s about making the other person feel comfortable. And You can do it!

Best wishes,

Miss Angela Manners

 

Bristly

Some days I can’t think of anything nice to say. But here’s a cactus for you to look at until I am in a more agreeable mood.

Listing all the good things that actually happened today will just make me feel worse for allowing myself to be in a funk. However, I would like to thank Masterpiece Theater for the excellent cry it helped facilitate and I’m grateful for the leftovers in the refrigerator which meant I didn’t have to cook dinner.

Thank you.

Remains of the day

There are 13 pairs of shoes in our entry hall. Just imagine what the rest of the house looks like after just 2 days of baseball season. I don’t know if we are going to make it. Not because it messes up the hallway, but because baseball murders our family dinners and evening routines for 3 1/2 months of the year.

I’m a vigorous supporter of the family meal, eaten together with all the benefits it delivers:

  1. nutrition
  2. routine
  3. conversation
  4. better bedtimes

My ideal evening is to have everyone home, reading or working on projects, playing piano or listening to music. It’s basically a Little House on the Prairie evening.

What’s a girl like me to do?

I’ll start by getting the kids to clean up their shoes.