Angela – Page 176 – Letters from Home

A different kind of Halloween

Halloween felt different this year. There were leaves on the ground. There was a public school parade of costumes. Mark wore the tin man costume to make me happy. I actually sewed this costume years ago for Daniel and I hinted to Mark that I wanted another kid to wear it. We sprayed his hair silver and he sneezed all day because of it.

Timothy agonized over his costume choice. After hours of shopping, we came home and pulled out a classic cape from the dress up clothes collection in the basement. I made his pendant from his piano medal and some costume jewelry from his great-great grandmother.

We had cousins drop by to show off their handmade costumes inspired by How to Train Your Dragon, Shawn the Sheep, and Brave. My sister Susan is amazing and talented.

My big kids didn’t dress up this year. Paige had too much homework and Daniel was just not interested. The day before Halloween I realized that we had forgotten to carve pumpkins. That has always been such a big event at our house, but this year we settled for orange twinkle lights in the windows instead of jack-o-lanterns.

Mark, freshly bathed and no longer sneezing, chose to pull out the knight gear for trick-or-treating.

Six years brings a lot of change.

Schooling our Perception

I studied a conference talk by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland last week in preparation for a lesson I was to teach. It was about the parable of the laborers in Matthew chapter 20.

There are many thoughts that emerged from this study, but the biggest for me was that we can school the way we perceive events.

We can make a choice about how we feel about things… perceived injustices especially. We can make a choice to let go of grudges. We can choose to see the good in a person or group of people. We are not naive to wrongs, but wise as serpents, harmless as lambs, we can more forward with courage.

My friend said that the philosophy of trusting and acting on everything that comes into your head is dangerous. We need to school our thoughts so we can act in the best ways. We can’t always trust our feelings to lead us to the best path. We can’t always trust our first perception of things. We certainly can’t trust that desire to hang on to past hurts.

Parables invite us to be participants. I tend to put myself in parables among the sheep and the 99, not as a goat or the lost ONE. The truth is, we all spend time as the prodigal now and then and it would be healthy to read the parables from the sinner’s perspective. It’s when we do this that we can find our Heavenly Father’s love and grace. We can school ourselves to find new perspectives.

I get the impression that many women tend to place themselves in the prodigal’s place too often, feeling that they can never measure up.

There is danger in both kinds of one-sided thinking. When we forget to school our thinking, we either become too concerned about justice in one case or about mercy in the other, forgetting that we need both.

“Be kind, and be grateful that God is kind. It is a happy way to live.” -Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

Elder Holland’s talk can be heard here.

First Snow

We woke up to snow two mornings this week. I’m enjoying the novelty and the sparkly white background outside my windows.

Our leaves aren’t down and the snow will melt soon, but what a fun afternoon we had.

A little hike

Little Cottonwood Canyon is about 4 minutes from our house. I decided to take the kids on an introductory hike to see how things looked from higher up on the mountain.

The locals said it was easy and only a half a mile. Baloney. It was hard.

But like any good hike, there is a reward when you can’t go another step.

I let the kids walk around the reservoir while I curled up in the shade and cooled off.

It was a gorgeous place to rest.

I love going on adventures with my kids.

This weekend was such a gift. The kids had some days off from school and the weather was gorgeous. We saw cousins on two different days; Richard and I spoke in church; Paige played a piano solo in sacrament meeting. These have been really good days.

BYU football season tickets

Ray, Joe, Mom, Daniel, and Timothy at the “blackout” game last Saturday. We’re not talking about the score.

We finally remembered to take a photo at a BYU football game. My mom is the BYU student who makes these tickets in the student section possible. Richard has gone to every game and I go to the night games with him and we call it a date. For Saturday games, Richard takes one or two of our boys with him. It’s a little bit tricky to go to games when there is so much to do on the weekends, but we couldn’t pass up this opportunity. My mom graduates soon and we’re savoring life here. It’s the right thing to do.

Tiny characters

Each morning I watch my youngest children grow small as they walk away from me, eventually merging into lines of children ready to go in to school. For a time, I am able to distinguish Mark’s backpack and Timothy’s walk, but eventually I turn away, realizing they have become indistinguishable from the other children and there is no sense in watching any longer.

It’s one of those paradoxes in life, I guess, that when seeing so many children, I am reminded of the individual nature of Heavenly Father’s love. He knows my little ones better than I do and I can trust them to His care when I’m not there. He knows his children and can pick out each of us from the crowd.

Conference Memories

What a memorable General Conference. I sobbed when I heard the announcement for a Tucson temple. We are thrilled about lowering the age for missionaries to serve. I loved Elder Holland’s talk.

Richard and Daniel were able to attend the General Priesthood meeting. I’m having technical difficulties with the annual father-son photo, but when I get that worked out, I’ll post Daniel and Richard standing beside one another in front of our house, Daniel’s limbs creeping out of bounds on the hems of last year’s suit.

Richard and Daniel rode Trax to downtown Salt Lake to avoid having to park.

We watched conference at home and one session at my parents’ mountain retreat. The little boys played with blocks and Lego Mindstorms as they listened to the speakers.

I just noticed Timothy’s awesome foundation.

Firsts

On Sunday I accompanied the choir on my violin for the first time in my new congregation. The first time is always nerve wracking, but with Daniel’s encouragement and prayers and holding a text message from Richard, I braved another “first” and it went just fine.

The kids are settling in very well to school. It’s taken a month, but we’re falling into a routine. The transition was a lot smoother than I expected. Richard gave each child a priesthood blessing the night before school began. I know that this has helped. I look back without regret at the years we spent together and pat myself on the back when I see their reading, math, and science scores. It helps soothe the ignominy of facing the skeptical public school administration a few weeks ago.

We went to our first church party. Paige and Daniel immediately found their friends and we didn’t see them all evening. Let me repeat: Paige and Daniel IMMEDIATELY FOUND THEIR FRIENDS. Tim and Mark played ball with a handful of primary children and came home with pockets stuffed with candy from the pinata. On the drive home, I asked the kids if they had a good time. They all said yes. Let me repeat: THEY ALL SAID YES! Daniel said, “Mom, this must be the right place for us.”

Absolutely.

I’m emotionally spent, despite most of these things being good developments in our lives. My sister-in-law Becky Sanchez unexpectedly stopped by our house late one night this week. She was in town for a funeral and had an just an hour to see us. It was a good visit. Her conversation was just what my tired nerves needed. I’m thankful to have her as a sister in law and that I got to hold her sweet new baby.

I am a tired but very blessed woman.