When people ask me, “So what are you going to do with all of that time now that you’re not home schooling?” I can’t agree that I have “all of that time.” In a related conversation, a mother of 6 in my ward, introducing herself, said, “I just stay at home.”
In my opinion, there is no “JUST” staying at home.
School, public or home, requires a lot from a parent. Raising children means doing most things with a lack of sleep, even when the baby years are over. It requires a lot of shopping. It involves renting instruments and buying music; there are trips to Scouts, ballet, and piano lessons. It’s getting up early to take them to seminary and staying up late waiting for them to come home from the dance. Good parenting is seeing that appropriate jobs are assigned and completed and that the family is exercising and eating healthy foods. It’s enforcing reading time and bedtime and limiting computer use. It’s saying no to sleepovers and inappropriate movies. Those are the details of parenting.
And then there is the vision part of parenting. It’s being aware of emotional, intellectual, social, spiritual, and physical needs. As children grow older, this becomes more complex. My best parenting takes place when I have a refrigerator full of food, a well-planned menu, and I have been reading my scriptures and saying my prayers. It’s at these times that I have the clearest vision of what my children need.
I prefer vision over details. I always have. So, with my extra hours in the morning, I will see that there is food in the refrigerator and that I’m maintaining my relationship with the Lord so I can have better understanding of His plan for us.
Someone suggested that when kids go to school it allows mothers to prepare themselves so they can be more present when their kids are home. I can’t completely agree because nothing comes automatically in family life. Just because I have time doesn’t mean I will use it well. Also, when I was home schooling, the Lord provided a way for me to do it all. I cooked our meals, cleaned our house, and at various times served as a Relief Society President, a primary teacher, a Cub Scout den leader, Cub Committee Chair, a member of a RS and Primary presidency, and a Young Women president… all while providing an education for my children.
During those home schooling years, Heavenly Father handled the vision and the details. And as I move forward, sometimes with teary eyes and heartache, I am trusting that this pattern will continue because I need just as much help as I did then.