Each of us lives to forge a path through a frontier, a place no one has traveled. I don’t count myself as unique in my feelings, but it feels a bit lonely in my frontier today. Motherhood has always felt like parting curtain after curtain over vistas I could barely imagine. Paige has been the little pioneer who has borne the task of living the results of my reactions to each new vista.
I realized this week that my vision for my children during the past few years hasn’t stretched much past the age of 15. We’ve passed that ridge and now I feel more than a little suspended. I don’t want Paige to feel as suspended as I do. To whom can I talk? I worked for years to build a community among home educators here, but as the years have passed, Paige and Daniel’s age group has dwindled. In our church congregation I am one of the oldest mothers. Paige has no one her age who attends church. She never complains. I just keep telling her that Heavenly Father knows where she lives and that it will all work out. My question, through my certain knowledge of God’s hand in our lives is, “What do we do now?”
I feel a little jump of excitement inside for whatever is next. We’ll figure it out like we always do, remembering that Heavenly Father knows where we are.