With Mark gone about 3 days a week, I find that my days are empty, just a preview of how it will be when he leaves.
I am not looking for advice or sympathy. In fact, if someone offers it, I bristle.
While expected, this phase has surprised me with its hollowness. My time with my children at home is ending and I don’t feel drawn to do anything. All those things I said I would do later have simply stopped calling.
I feel weary, but more aware and more wise.
My days feel hollow, but personally, I am intact.
I just want to be completely still all of the time. I could take time to really develop this thought, but that would interrupt the stillness that I crave. Here is a simple explanation.
In music and in life, there are necessary rests, pauses, and changes in theme.
The best way I can express it is that I have come to a point of arrival in my song that requires a pause. A rest.
Soon, I will pick up a new theme or begin a new movement. But now, during this scorching summer, I seek rest.