Today I had an impression that I should post this talk I gave a few months ago at a leadership meeting for men and women in our stake. My topic was to explore how we move forward after recent challenges, and the need for gentle and powerful leaders.
Recently, I heard a wise observation from a ward Primary president who said, “Everyone has experienced profound changes in their lives this year.”
Tonight, I want to speak about the need to be gentle and powerful leaders. First, I want to talk about events from 100 years ago that have application for our time.
At the close of WWI, the strain of the war years and the hastening flu epidemic brought to a head the grief of nations. Soldiers killed in conflict were buried near the battlefield, meaning people didn’t have graves to visit near their homes, nor had they been able to grieve in usual funeral traditions. Leaders in England decided to construct a monument to honor the dead. It is called the Cenotaph, and it comes from two Greek words meaning “empty tomb”. It was effective and meaningful to a grieving nation because its tall, narrowing structure was designed to draw eyes upward. At the top is an empty tomb. With this monument, world leaders gave a space for grief and helped people find their own meaning in the symbol of the empty tomb. There are opportunities within our reach to help draw eyes upward. Always, it is in Christ and the symbol of his empty tomb where people can find personal, meaningful hope.
For Martha, grieving the loss of Lazarus her brother, Jesus did several important things: first, he came to her personally. Second, he wept and showed empathy. Third, he redirected her already strong faith in the resurrection squarely upon himself. Martha said, “I know that he shall rise again in the resurrection at the last day. And Jesus said unto her, “I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live.” (John 11: 24-25) We are called to invite people to the source of help in Jesus Christ, his very person, his perfection, his atonement, his comfort, his strength, his peace. As we help prepare children for baptism, youth for priesthood and temple covenants, may our youth never be surprised that all this effort is about coming unto Christ. The gospel is more than concepts, it is a process of developing a personal and covenant relationship with our Heavenly Father. It is a lifetime of learning the language of the Spirit. It is moving the Savior from an idea in the mind to the heart.
Continuing the story of the raising of Lazarus, Jesus calls him forth from the dead, and Lazarus obeys. Then comes an interesting detail. Jesus asks Lazarus’ friends to loosen him from the bindings of the grave. Christ’s power calls and saves, and he allows us to help him remove burdens, loneliness, and insecurities that would hamper our friends’ progress. Patient, gentle ministering will look different for each person, and I believe in the power of friendships with disciples of Christ.Nephi offers some perspective about his life in the first verse of the book of Mormon. He mentions two things that brought him to know the goodness of God: His goodly parents and his afflictions.
As I speak of goodly parents and I will add goodly families and goodly homes.There are lessons and skills we have learned during the pandemic to streamline our meetings and processes. We have learned new ways to minister. Let’s not abandon things we found effective. Families and homes cannot be strengthened without regular, sustained time together. Goodly homes are a key to spiritual resilience for children, youth, and adults.
Consider what we can do to support goodly parenting and homes. The handbook has outlined one purpose for teacher councils can be to gather parents to show support and provide ideas for Come Follow Me in the home. We can identify the loneliest among us and find ways to help them feel they are part of a goodly family of Latter-day Saints.Nephi’s afflictions were also a source of his knowledge of the goodness of God: where Laman and Lemuel staggered, Nephi rose; and later, in the war years, some hearts were softened and others were hardened.
Afflictions, just like the mists of darkness in Lehi’s dream, come to everyone. The difference between those who falter and those who endure is their understanding and use of the Savior’s Atonement. President Russell M Nelson said, “As our Resurrected and Atoning Savior, He stands ready to help us grow from the dramatic, unprecedented events in our lives.”
The sons of Mosiah and Alma the Younger served in unprecedented times. They began among the people closest to them, but branched out beyond the usual boundaries, as we must also do. What made them effective?
Mosiah 27:33 says, “But notwithstanding all this [COVID-19 restrictions, persecutions, contention, ill health, grief, loneliness] they did impart much consolation to the church, confirming their faith, and exhorting them with long-suffering and much travail to keep the commandments of God. So, they consoled, confirmed faith, and exhorted to obedience.
As for Consolation: perhaps it would be wise to remember that every one of us has experienced some kind of loss this year, and to act with Christlike gentleness toward everyone. Most have experienced sorrows our eyes have not seen. Elder Holland taught of the need to console our fellow men, “We are…facing a kind of Third World War that is not a fight to crush our enemies but a conscription marshaling the children of God to care more about each other and to help heal the wounds we find in a conflicted world. The Great Depression we now face has less to do with the external loss of our savings and more to do with the internal loss of our self-confidence.”
Confirm faith: It is not enough to offer sympathy, but we must find ways to frame difficult experiences with an eye of faith. One of the most effective phrases I have taken from a sacrament meeting this year was from a ward mission leader who said, “If you have been through trials in the last year and you are still participating today, you have spiritual strength, perhaps more spiritual strength than you know you have.” And my bishop, who in effect taught, “we are not the same as we were last year. Remember, every one of the stripling warriors was injured in battle. This is part of what we experience in life. Don’t count the wounds and scars as a lack of faithfulness. The Lord still loves you.”
We can exhort with longsuffering and much travail to keep the commandments: We exhort with our words, but let’s not forget the overriding power of our examples, especially within our families and online.
In my scripture study, I write down the thoughts that come to me. This is the script I have learned to use in my calling, with my family, and when I am asked to speak. Using personal lessons from the scriptures is an effective way to exhort.
As some of our brothers and sisters hover on the edge, wondering whether they want to come back after a year of being away from church activity, this is a time to be direct in our invitations, “We need you. We have a specific job for you. Your voice matters. And the ordinances and covenants of the sacrament, baptism, confirmation, priesthood, and the temple will help you in every aspect of your life.” It will be easier to return if people feel understood, noticed, and nourished by truth.
I want to share some consoling, confirming words from my study of the Lord’s promises to the House of Israel. I think they apply to each of our callings.
“The Messiah should be made manifest unto them in the latter days, in the spirit of power, unto the bringing of them out of darkness unto light—yea, out of hidden darkness and out of captivity unto freedom.” (2 Nephi 3:5)“They that erred in spirit shall come to understanding and they that murmured shall learn doctrine” (2 Nephi 27:34-35)
“I the Lord have not forgotten my people.” (2 Nephi 29:5)
“He shall set his hand…to recover his people…that the servants of the Lord shall go forth in his power to nourish and prune his vineyard” (Jacob 6:2)
“The Lord will be the hope of his people and the strength of the children of Israel. (Joel 3:6)
It feels impossible for me to comprehend all we have experienced during the past year, but Jesus Christ has, in Gethsemane when he took those burdens upon himself. My own experiences this year feel sacred and close to the heart. The most important thing I do as a leader at home and at church is maintain my relationship with my Heavenly Father. This relationship has allowed me to find new ways to serve during this past year, despite all. Just like my own testimony during trial, I believe many testimonies have grown this year. Grief and trial have softened hearts, and brought us to our knees, and brought the Savior closer than perhaps we realize. May we take the perspectives and strength this year have given and multiply them with our service to lift others. There is strength ready to come forth from the things people have endured and I believe we will continue to see more miracles from an increase of faith in Jesus Christ.