i get this way as i approach my birthday. It’s the most dependable melancholy of the year. i take time to own the mistakes and regrets of the year, the missed opportunities, the losses, and gains.
i lost nearly a tenth of myself in weight since my last birthday. Worry started it, then surgery. Being skinny is not all they say it is.
i didn’t write my book, but wrote statements of faith, i think more than a hundred pages of them.
i disappoint myself regularly.
i have loved being home, and enjoyed so much family time.
i have been more proud than ever of our children during the past 12 months, just unimaginably proud.
i learned to do less.
i know God’s promises to me by heart.
i have been lonely, and learned to bear it.
i have looked for wisdom from my angel grandmothers and aunts. Their memory reminds me to make family time the best it can be.