I finished a substantial goal last Friday: I finished my study of the Gospels by answering all 4,616 questions from Julie M. Smith’s book, Search, Ponder, and Pray: A Guide to the Gospels. My goal was one page per day. Some days this took me 15 minutes. Other days this took me hours. I began on January 1 and finished on November 6. Who knew that my study of the New Testament would include looking up and pondering so many Old Testament scriptures? Who knew that I would love the Gospel of Mark best because it made me want to get out and help people all the time? Matthew nearly killed me, and John always makes me breathless with its depth. Did you know that there were efforts to combine all the Gospels into one account in the early Christian church? I am thankful for the distinct voices of the Gospels.
I was at my “desk” at the kitchen table most of the day to celebrate my birthday by finishing my goal. It was Richard’s gift to me and my gift to myself.
This is the answer to the final question of Julie’s book that I wrote out on my precious day.
Q: How has your testimony changed as a result of studying the Gospels?
A: My testimony of Christ has grown as I’ve focused on the Gospels this year. I’ve seen the Savior in greater dimension. I have felt inspired to be more like him. My study of the Gospels has drawn my heart out to others instead of making me rigid in my appraisal of them. I’ve appreciated the women’s voices and influence in the NT. I’ve appreciated the disciples’ honesty in how they did not understand the doctrine even with Jesus in their midst, but understanding came to them later, a gift from our Father in Heaven. I feel like I know Jesus better; that I can see more clearly how he would handle situations in the world today. He was more than “Love,” although he was its personification; He was more than doctrine, although he preached it and represented it without fear. He didn’t stand for inclusion in a worldly sense, but through his completion of the Atonement, he is the ultimate instrument of inclusion for all of God’s children. I am changed by my study. I won’t remember all of the details, but I am not the same person that I was when I began.