As I made alterations to Paige’s most recent school dance dress, I thought, “There must be a special reward in heaven for this work to keep my daughter covered.” I’m hoping for a comfortable room where there are endless romantic comedies playing and the chocolate is without calories. 😉 Modesty is a huge topic, but today, I’m just talking about dresses.
An invitation to a dance means that we will spend a lot of time looking for a dress which will need some alterations after we find it. Formal dresses rarely have sleeves, backs, or adequate fronts. Short dresses are too short. Always. This means that it will take some significant effort to find or make something nice. Young men need to understand this and ask young women several weeks before the dance.
It is easier to find a modest dress in Utah than in other states that I have lived, but they are rarely flattering. At one store in our mall, there is whole wall of the same dress in a variety of colors. They have sleeves, but the dresses are expensive and boring. Most often, the solution is to buy something that your daughter is not comfortable wearing and then fix it so it covers her. These are the strategies that I have seen to fix a sleeveless or short dress:
Wear a t-shirt: the girl will wear a cap sleeve t-shirt beneath the dress in an (almost) matching color or contrasting color. The problem with this is that cotton jersey knit isn’t in the same league with satin or chiffon. It’s really awkward looking. But if I see a girl who has decided that this is the best way for her to feel covered and comfortable, I say it’s better than nothing! Paige wore a satin shirt under a dress once and it was a nicer solution than a t-shirt.
Wear a bolero: the girl will simply place a bolero jacket over the sleeveless or strapless dress, and voila! She is covered. The problem with this is that it’s not original and bolero jackets don’t always match the style of the dress.
Make sleeves or inserts from fabric that doesn’t quite match: It’s impossible to match dress fabric perfectly. The sheen or the shade will be slightly off, and that’s annoying. One year we bought an inexpensive dress at Ross and put an insert in the front. The insert didn’t quite match, but it reflected 5 hours of shopping, so we called it a triumph.
Make sleeves from fabric from the dress: If you are lucky, you might have some pockets or a few extra inches of fabric you can remove from the sides or bottom of the dress with which you can construct sleeves. This is my favorite solution because no one can tell that you have reworked the dress.
Buy the dress several sizes too big so its length is adequate. It means you need to alter the dress, but as I mentioned earlier, 99% of short dresses are too short, so this is a real solution.
Wear a lacy underskirt: For short dresses, one trend is to wear a lacy underskirt that extends below the hemline of the dress, making it look like a slip is showing. I’ve also seen how girls have sewn wide ribbons to the hem to lengthen the hemline. It was pretty.
Make the dress yourself: Sewing skills are a blessing. If it’s not your thing and you have someone in your life who can make something from scratch, hooray!
All complaining aside, the effort and frustrations are worth it when you see your daughter look beautiful, intelligent, and refined. That’s what modesty is about. It’s a mirror to reflect how she feels about herself and her Creator.