State of grace

I’ve been hoping for some photos from the Scout Camp that Daniel attended this summer to add to this post, but my feelings for what occurred with Daniel don’t require a photo to convey.

Scout Camp was just what Daniel needed and I will always be thankful for his leaders.

Parenting has made me feel very inadequate lately. Some of this feeling comes because I know that I am a flawed person. Some of this feeling comes because the kids don’t need me in the same ways that they used to and I’m trying to figure it all out. The kids are trying to figure out who they are and some days they long for more independence, but on others they need extra support.

I will admit that one of my biggest challenges in parenting is how to handle all of the technology that my children want to use. Some days it seems like all I do is monitor time spent on the computer, Wii, and watching Netflix. We have set time limits, but screen time tends to blur capacity for self control. It’s no fun being the screen time sheriff, but I am diligent. Some days I feel like a martyr. I sacrifice my easy tone and adopt an uncomfortable iron will to keep them from being tied too closely to the computer and television. It’s parenting in the trenches. The enemy is in the house and it takes courage to keep it at a distance.

Daniel has needed some space and I have struggled to help him find the it while still parenting and guiding. We sent him to Scout camp hoping that the time away would nurture his need for independence, challenge, and friendships with other young men.

When he saw me for the first time after camp he gave me a long hug. I don’t know why. Whether it was the corny songs and cheers, the camaraderie of leaders and friends, the nights under the stars, particularly poor cooking, a week away from the computer, or a combination of all of these things, I was grateful for whatever it was that brought Daniel to a place that he wanted to give me a hug.

This state of grace that Daniel was given at camp was a magnet for the young cousins at our family reunion. He spent time wrestling and nurturing them. He caught them in the freezing river and waded them to shore; he was helpful and he was magnificent.

Daniel is an amazing young man and he has grown more patient and unselfish this year. He’s also grown about 5 inches. Anyone under that kind of physical stretching is going to have some adjustments to make in the way he moves, talks, sits, and interacts with the world. I’m cheering for him all the way.

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Angela

I write so my family will always have letters from home.