“What do you do all day?” was a question someone asked me in December. This question doesn’t bother me, no matter how it is phrased or who asks it. I never feel the need to defend my decision to be present at home, but today I feel like celebrating my full life.
I volunteer at the school.
I spend 2 mornings with the first graders each week and volunteer for a short shift on another day to compile homework packets for the fourth graders. I observe the teachers as I do this. I learn the names of the children in the classes. I look at displays in the hallway. I don’t always enjoy hearing first grade literature, but I want to help them improve their reading skills. In the 8 months that I have done this, I have seen real progress. I have taught art classes to the first graders and helped them create their own Jackson Pollack paintings and also some mosaics. I have helped with class parties and I ran cash registers at the book fairs. This week I am going to the zoo with Mark’s class. I’m pretty nervous about this one.
I read. I study.
I keep quotes and notes of history and religious topics and fill up notebooks with ideas. I read less now than when I was teaching, probably because the new house has required so much of my time. Here is a list of what I have read since the school year began:
Theodore Boone: Kid Lawyer by John Grisham
Hatchet by Gary Paulsen
Lincoln: A Phogobiography by Russel Freedman
Captains Courageous by Rudyard Kipling
Okay for Now by Gary D. Schmidt
The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde
This Time Together: Laughter and Reflection by Carol Burnett
Peter the Great: His Life and World by Roberk K. Massie 1136 pages of Russian & European history, politics, and wars
Silas Marner by George Eliot
The Infinite Atonement by Tad R. Callister
So Far From the Bamboo Grove by Yoko Kawashima Watkins
Founding Mothers by Cokie Roberts
Autobiography of Parley P. Pratt
Little House in the Big Woods by Laura Ingalls Wilder
Little House on the Prairie by Laura Ingalls Wilder
Farmer Boy by Laura Ingalls Wilder
On the Banks of Plum Creek by Laura Ingalls Wilder
By the Shores of Silver Lake by Laura Ingalls Wilder
The Long Winter by Laura Ingalls Wilder
Little Town on the Prairie by Laura Ingalls Wilder
These Happy Golden Years by Laura Ingalls Wilder
The First Four Years by Laura Ingalls Wilder
Oddfellow’s Orphanage by Emily Winfield Martin
For Times of Trouble by Jeffrey R. Holland
Love, Stargirl by Jerry Spinelli
C.S. Lewis: A Biography by Roger Lancelyn Green and Walter Hooper
Founding Rivals: Madison vs. Monroe: The Bill of Rights and the Election thatSaved a Nation by Chris DeRose
Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis
Lady Almina and the Real Downton Abbey: The Lost Legacy of Highclere Castle by The Countess of Carnarvon
Tevye the Dairyman by Sholem Aleichem
Lark Rise to Candleford: A Trilogy by Flora Thompson (in progress)
I care for and organize our home.
I did a lot of organization projects this year, but it was a particular focus in April. We also moved forward with a few plumbing and painting projects. It feels so good to make the house our own. Here is a list of the things we did in April. I did the organization and painting. Richard did the wiring, plumbing, and ceiling repairs.
- Mark’s room: removed old dresser and moved all clothing to his closet. I hung some more quilts on the wall. I love colorful quilts.
- Paige’s room: Paige cleaned out her old wardrobe and moved all clothing to her closet in bins that I had found on sale.
- Daniel’s room: I organized clothing and organized Legos and collections; we bought paint for his room.
- Timothy’s room: We painted, replaced switches, outlets, and plates; we sealed the window to keep the spiders out!
- Storage room: I filled new bins to store all of our winter gear.
- Craft room: I hung curtains in the closet, rearranged furniture, placed everything in containers, applied new plates on walls, and hung pictures
- Upstairs family room: I found an inexpensive piece of artwork that I LOVE for one of the empty walls
- Front yard: We planted daisies in planter on the doorstep.
- Downstairs bathroom: We repainted, repaired the tub, added new caulk, added new hardware and textiles; we replaced the toilet, replaced switches, outlets, and plates, and sealed the window to keep the spiders out.
- Basement: Richard replaced and repaired ceiling tiles.
- Mudroom: I filled bins with winter gear and baseball gear, neatly labeled them, and placed them on shelves.
- Upstairs bathroom: We sealed the shower, replaced the shower head, and deep cleaned the grout.
- Upstairs living room/piano room: I hung TWO gold curtain panels.
I do all of the shopping and laundry and a lot of driving.
I bought winter wardrobes for every member of the family and shopped the sales for more bedding. With my extra time, I can shop more carefully for groceries and other things. I am in the car driving kids at least an hour a day.
I pursue personal interests.
I spent January compiling our family photo album for 2012; February was a month of musical performances; March and April I spent writing my grandmother’s history. I have joined a quilting group and will begin my first real pieced quilt this week. Richard and I enjoy creating media. In February, Richard and I revamped our “Who Wants to be a Millionaire” inspired trivia game about the Book of Mormon because we wanted it to be extra special for a mutual activity. The improved graphics, sounds, and hundreds of questions were a hit. I watch BBC dramas regularly, thanks to the library and Netflix. I write real letters to people.
I fulfill church responsibilities.
I am a visiting teacher to three women and I volunteer to watch the 5 month old quadruplets that live a few doors away. This service has helped me to find friendship among the women in my neighborhood. The quadruplets brighten my days.
I am a leader in the Young Women organization at church. I teach Sunday lessons and attend Mutual activities on Wednesday nights. I study for hours and hours to prepare lessons.
I spend time finding joy and feeling grateful.
I spend almost the same amount of time on education for my children as before, only it’s redirected. I have never felt like my day goes by slowly. I have less solitude than I expected, and I am happy.
I believe that I am blessed and I don’t know why. I see good women who have to struggle with things that I have never had to face. I’m blessed, but I have also made choices about how to spend my life and in the attitude that I adopt.
I believe that my life at home offers me so many possibilities. I can study what I wish; I have time to volunteer; I have the flexibility to NOT volunteer; I have leisure time, as well as a healthy dose of work. My life is good, and I am thankful for Richard who has always made it possible for me to be home where I want to be and where I believe my children need me to be.
Progress for women doesn’t just take the form of career opportunities. The more I read and learn, the more it becomes clear that my life is a dream vacation compared to what most women in history have experienced. It’s real progress for women to be free from want and ignorance. I’m not trying to keep my children from starving. I have time to study scriptures and other subjects with them after school; I have time and the means to shop for clothing and shoes. I don’t spend much time doing laundry or washing dishes. We have time to read and have access to great schools and libraries. I can get a job if I need to, even though I am married. It wasn’t that long ago that married women couldn’t have a job as a teacher. I’m thankful that this opportunity is there for me. I have the freedom to take a career, turn away from a career, or postpone a career. I admire the women who are raising children on their own and who work and do everything else. I cheer for those single mothers who shine, despite a difficult situation, and continue to raise amazing children.
I love my life. Sometimes I love my life because I can use my knowledge and talents to bless my family. I think I have drawn from everything I have learned in school and experience in my parenting. Sometimes I love my life, not because I am good at something, but because I have applied myself and find satisfaction in the work. Sometimes I love my life because I have had a glimpse of what my great-grandmothers’ lives were like and the contrast makes me feel so grateful. I love my life when I look at my children and I feel like I really know them.
Do I have problems in my relationships? Yes. Does my body give out sometimes? Yes. Do I have frustrating conversations with my children? Yes. Do I get tired of cooking? Yes. Do I love to be a chauffeur? No. But I am grateful, so grateful for my life, so full of possibilities and people, books and cozy corners in which to study them, and for children and all that comes with them. Most of all, I feel very thankful for Richard whose love, career, and sacrifices have made so many of my life’s joys possible.